So, let’s talk about Keeping Up With Kardashians… Is anybody watching that? I must confess I tuned in and saw, well, all the episodes of this season. Not because I was forced, but because I was curious. Albeit morbidly so. Which is sort of like eating an entire Chipotle burrito just to see if I can do it. Never a good idea, but it never stops me.
First of all, the editing in this show is so bad and non-sequential, but they don’t seem to care and they don’t bother trying to hide it. They also bilk a storyline for all it’s worth; going overboard to berate you with a point. And most annoyingly, each show has a little moralistic message attached to the end like some sort of totally trashy and lowbrow Aesop’s Fables with spray tans, false eyelashes, and a lot of too tight pants.
Yeah, so about those Kardashians. Is Kris Jennerpsychotic? Bruce Jenner seems to think so! Their marital drama – which may be fabricated, but is likely not – is kinda dominating this season so far. In fact Bruce is getting some major airtime for once. He’s working hard for his share of that $40M.
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From the NBC press release: “Kim has grown closer to her loving family than she ever was before, Kourtney and Scott are preparing Mason for the arrival of his little sister, Khloé strives to spend time with everyone she loves, Kylie and Kendall have discovered new ways to step out from the shadows of their older sisters, Rob is finding his own way in business, and Bruce and Kris go through a rough patch after Bruce reveals that he feels taken for granted.”
The Kardashians will also continue to expand their empire by opening DASH boutique and pimping more products than ever. Oh, joy.
Photos of the family and a video preview of tonight’s episode are below!
Well, I have some unfortunate news, so I hope you’re all sitting down. The Kardashians will definitely NOT be leaving our TV’s anytime soon – or our pop culture lexicon. Despite Kim Kardashian‘s sham wedding (with accompanying very public divorce) and the tremendous negative backlash from the media and the public, American’s favorite famewhores have just inked a $40 Million three-year reality television deal with E!. So, if this doesn’t confirm that Kimye is a publicity stunt – really, I don’t know what would!
Yes, despite petitions, and threats, and absolute proof that their shows are staged crap – they will be back whether we like it or not!
Ironically the numbers for last season’s KUWTK averaged only about 3 M viewers per episode – on par (or below) with most Housewives, but apparently the Kardashians’ scandals and drama are worth their weight in gold for the network; which basically exists purely to broadcast the family’s lives. The deal does not include any new shows! So when Kim and Kanye West start pimping out their totally authentic romance, they will iron out their own deal. Which means more ka-ching!
The less famous and thereby second-rate family members, Rob Kardashian along withKylie andKendall Jenner will receive considerably less. Scott Disick and Mason also get a cut of the profit, but they have a separate deal with the network. You know Kris was trying to insure against any possible break-ups!
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We’ll start with the fakest news. Kim has decided that her expertise in sex tapes qualifies her to be mayor of Los Angeles. Considering how many politicians have been in sex scandals in the last few years, Kim might actually fit in better than you would expect. In an unaired clip from her reality show, Kim tells sister Khloe Kardashian, “I decided…I’m gonna run for the mayor of Glendale…but it’s gonna be in like five years.” Kim is confident it can happen because the town is heavily Armenian and so is she! You can check out the video of Khloe and Kim discussing her totally real plans at Radar Online.
In more serious news, a source is claiming Kris Jenner is ruining Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s by lives by not letting them attend college. Do they know what college is? Just kidding! They do know what post-secondary schooling is; their siblings Kourtney and Rob did actually go to school.
The source says:
“Kris is ruining Kylie and Kendall‘s lives by not encouraging them to go to university. They both have expressed an interest in furthering their education but Kris is constantly shooting down the idea. She thinks if the girls go away to school, they will miss their window of opportunity and the public will forget about them.”
Kris wants the girls to get a reality show instead. To be honest, reality TV is more profitable than any college, so making the girls do a television show is a sound business decision.
And finally, I saved the best for last! Kanye re-titled his “Theraflu” song where he name-drops Kim and calls the new one “Way Too Cold.” A source tells US Magazine, magazine, he “has been genuinely head over heels for [Kim] for a while.”
However, he’s quick to point out that he never compared Kim to Beyoncé, like a source once claimed. He told US Weekly, “Come on now, that doesn’t even sound like me,” and advised that fact-checkers should review his lyrics and social media account to verify any claims out there about him. “If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.” I have the same philosophy, so understand Kanye’s pain.
TELL US: WOULD YOU VOTE FOR KIM? DO YOU THINK KRIS JENNER IS RUINING HER DAUGHTER’S LIVES?
Kris Jenner‘s plan to turn her daughters into a reality television famwehore konglomerate may finally be coming to an end. The older girls are besieged by drama and relationship troubles, and now husband Bruce Jenner is finally– finally–putting his foot down about her pimping out younger daughters Kendall and Kylie; leaving them to befall the same fates as their older sisters.
The National Enquirer–which can be surprisingly accurate and on-point with uncovering hot stories first–is reporting that the Jenner marriage is all but over due to Kris’ out of control ambition and promoting her teenaged daughters as sex objects to continue with the Kardashian reality dynasty!
For years, viewers have wondered what the heck is wrong with Bruce for letting her get away with this nonsense, and apparently Bruce has been quietly simmering behind the scenes. After a recent blow-up with Kris, Bruce packed his bags and stormed out, accusing her of turning his daughters into “Kardashian Robots!” According to insiders, Bruce has “had it with Kris’ manipulative ways and packed his bags and left.”
The devastating fight over his daughters’ futures came after their appearance on America’s Next Top Model where they posed for provocative photos dressed as the twins from The Shining. Bruce, rightfully, felt the shot and the portrayal was inappropriate and called Kris out on using their children. In fact, her desperate need for fame is putting her twenty-year marriage in serious jeopardy as Bruce is at the end of his rope!
After Bruce left, Kris called him repeatedly to no avail and he refused to tell her where he was. “Kris was crying hysterically when she finally got Bruce on his cell phone,” the insider recounts. “She sobbed that she was sorry for everything and if he came back they could get their marriage back on track.”
Bruce has never been too interested in reality television, maintaining a mostly low profile on Keeping Up With The Kardashians and not letting fame go to his head – well, except for that facelift Kris forced him to get! But now that Kris is ardently throwing their younger daughters into the spotlight, shilling their images out in sexy poses and outfits everywhere, he is starting to see the repercussions of letting her be in charge.
“The marriage started spinning out of control when Kris started pushing Kendall and Kylie to follow in Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe‘s footsteps as hypersexualized reality starlets,” an insider tells The National Enquirer (via their print edition). “When Bruce put his foot down, Kris just laughed and pointed a finger in his face and barked, ‘I’m the boss here, buddy!'”
“Bruce is fed up with his wife’s cold, bloodless ambition for the children,” the insider discloses. “Their marriage is in tatters. He just said that she needed help big-time.” Bruce eventually came home following their gigantic fight, but all is not well. “They’re barely speaking to each other. Bruce told her that ambition is in her blood like a disease.”
Adding fuel to rumors that their marriage is in trouble, was Bruce’s absence at step-son Rob Kardashian‘s recent Las Vegas birthday celebration!
Indeed, while has Kris focused on building a reality television dynasty she has been completely ignoring Bruce and her marriage – and he is ready to call it quits! Kris is reportedly desperate to keep up appearances and reconnect with Bruce. “They talked about marriage therapy as a last-ditch effort to avoid divorce,” the insider shares. “There’s really very little left in the marriage to save.”
Kris doesn’t want to give up just yet. “She desperately wants him back,” but Bruce is still reeling from a year of horrible family drama – particularly Kris’ revelations in her book Kris Jenner… and All Things Kardashian. Bruce was furious to learn all the intimate details of her affair and that she kept in touch with her adultery partner, Todd Waterman, after Bruce and Kris married!
“If Bruce and Kris’ marriage is to survive, massive changes need to happen,” the insider concludes.
In other Kardashian news, Kris Humphries has had it with speculation about his divorce and the nonstop accusations against him – likely stemming from his desperate to save her spotlight ex-wife. Hot on the heels of gossip that Kim wants to claim he defrauded her by refusing to move to California (despite footage on her reality show demonstrating otherwise), Kris is releasing a statement denying any defamatory comments or leaks came from his camp because they all came from the Kardashinas.
“Much effort and energy to mis-direct the public’s perception of what transpired between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has taken place over the past several months, some even going so far as to attempt to create settlement ‘demands’ where none have been made,” the statement begins.
“Neither Kris Humphries nor his legal team have spread these rumors nor will they. While we are encouraged to see an apparent willingness by the other side to put big numbers out in an attempt to settle Mr. Humphries’ claims, we respect and will continue to observe the integrity of the legal process.”
“This case will be resolved not in the court of public opinion amidst ridiculous and defamatory allegations and personal attacks directed against Kris Humphries. Rather, this case will be appropriately investigated and litigated professionally and with integrity.”
And Kris is not backing down – nor is he remaining quiet about the Kardashians’ intentions for this marriage! “One thing is certain: Kris Humphries intends to set the record straight and while settlement discussions are a normal part of every litigated case, there will always be public speculation and conjecture in matters such as this, in fact, these legal proceedings and the parties involved are deserving of professionalism and integrity by all.”
Kris, believe me, we are all standing by on bated breath to see how this plays out!
Finally, also not apologizing or backing down is actor Jon Hamm; who lambasted fauxlebrities like Kim by saying, “stupidity is certainly celebrated.” Kim released a statement denying that anything she does is stupid, cause, she’s like popular y’all and called his comments “careless!” But Jon is standing by his statements!
“I don’t think [my comments] were careless. I think they were accurate,” he explained on The Today Show. “It’s a part of our culture that I certainly don’t identify with and I don’t really understand the appeal of it other than in a sort of car crash sensibility.”
And, in case your interested in watching some television with actual talented stars, Mad Men premiers this Sunday!
[Photo Credit: Fayes Vision/WENN.com]
IS THE JENNER MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS? IS BRUCE RIGHT TO FINALLY PUT HIS FOOT DOWN? THOUGHTS ON KRIS’ STATEMENT – IS HE LEAKING STORIES TO THE MEDIA? DOES JON HAMM OWE KIM AN APOLOGY?