Hey readers! I am about to blow you away with some secret intel from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You are going to be totally shocked, I'm sure. Here it is…Carlton Gebbia is really not a fan of Kyle Richards. Oh, you already gathered that? We all must be as intuitive as Carlton is! After the witchy blow-up on Monday's episode, Carlton is recapping her showdown with Kyle in her Bravo blog. Lisa Vanderpump always seems to get sucked into these dinner parties, doesn't she?
Carlton begins with her observations about Kyle, writing, "Watching Kyle's talking head as she's constantly rude about Lisa (her friend) only compounds and confirms my feelings towards her. Talk about smiling at one's face and then stabbing them in the back. But I guess that's her M.O. I know I'm not wrong about her, and I definitely know I'm not the only one who feels this."
After calling out Lisa for regretting to her painting party at the last minute, Yolanda feels the need to defend herself after what happened in Andy Cohen's clubhouse last week. She begins, 'First, I wanted to clear up Brandi's jab at me with her tweet while I was on WWHL saying I cancelled dinner plans with her. It surprised me because it would have been justified if I had been a hypocrite and cancelled plans with her and instead taken a business meeting that was more important — but that’s absolutely not what happened! I cancelled because I was dealing with my crying child across the country in NY who was just diagnosed with a disease we were trying to figure out. This is something I shared with B in good faith — but not something I wanted to share with all of you because that’s my daughter’s privacy. But since Brandi brought it up on national TV, I feel I have to clarify the situation."
It's been an emotional few days for Brandi Glanville in regard to her missing dog Chica. She's been understandably upset for what has to be months (I'm going by what we're watching each Monday on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and what we see in real time as Brandi's life literally plays out on Twitter).
I certainly don't blame Brandi for being emotional about her pooch. After all, pets are totally part of the family as the most gentle and loyal companions. However, just this week Brandi had a glimmer of hope as far as Chica is concerned.
Last night Carlton Gebbia really let the witch out of the bag – flying broomsticks, evil spells, creepy crystal floral talismans and all!
Kyle Richards andLisa Vanderpump are friends-ish again. Well at least for the sake of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills purposes. Since Ken and Mauricio truly are friends, Kyle and Lisa decide to get together with Kevin Lee (!!) to throw a joint birthday party. Oh Kevin Lee… let's discuss what's going on atop your head: part Brillo pad, part tasered porcupine: too much hair gel, mmmkay.
As Lisa and Kyle divvy up the guest list Kyle gets all porcupiney – she just wants to know why there's gotta be teams allocating who invites whom.
UGH – let's just take a moment to discuss Kyle. Listen, Kyle was annoying me the whole episode: she kept making her little snarky comments, making everything into a bigger deal than it was, and sneaking in shade while acting like everything was fine – basically she was Splits-ing. But then CARLTON! Snarlton… SNARLTON with her Wicked Witch of The Valley complete with California Raisin face had to go all wicca-wacka and made me feel bad for Kyle. There's more to Kyle's witchiness than her fondness for flowing robes, but compared to Snarlton, Kyle is a sweet innocent.
"I dedicate this book to all the men I've loved before and to all the single people looking for love in this world: keep hope alive, learn from my mistakes, and by all means #KeepItSexy," Brandi begins after telling us P.S. "Social media is ruining romance". Yes, Brandi and so are drunken tabloid photos.
With an introduction titled "How To Get Screwed" (the first line of which is "F–k me."), you know you're in for a wild ride! Brandi gives a ton of anecdotes and continues with her theme of interweaving hashtags throughout the text as if twitter truly is writing this book.
A snippet of the introduction and the first chapter are below!
Carlton Gebbia continues to intrigue me. I mean, she's the wicked witch of double standards. She's disgusted by her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast mates talking about sex and then lap dances on her MIL, does stripper pole lessons, and throws a Hustler party.
She doesn't want Kyle Richards asking about her religion, yet she talks about it all the time and puts spells on people. And she doesn't like Joyce Giraud for being fake and attention-seeking yet Carlton is allll about Brandi Glanville!
In her most recent Bravo blogCarlton reflects on the episode and explains why Kyle is fake, Joyce is annoying, and she is the greatest living human in the world.
What can I say about Brandi Glanville that hasn't already been said? She over shares? Yup. She has no filter? Duh. She has no problem throwing people under the bus? Check. Really nothing that comes out of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star's mouth shocks me anymore.
If you watch RHOBH, you know Brandi makes no secret about her financial situation. Even with her best-sellers, her bank account isn't even in the same stratosphere as her co-stars. I'm a flip-flopping Brandi fan, but I do like how candid she is about her struggles with money. She may not have the most, but she works hard for what she has…unlike when she was married to Eddie Cibrian.