Farrah Abraham‘s not-so-shocking new job as a stripper was the highlight of my week last week. Um, errr, my work week. My life is not that sad. Now the formerTeen Mom star is bragging about being offered $544,000 to strip for Palazio Gentlemen’s Club in Austin, Texas, through December.
Is Farrah laughing all the way to the bank or spewing more lies? I’m leaning towards liar, liar, pasties on fire!
In case you missed it, Farrah took the stripper job to research movie roles that do not yet exist. “It’s job shadowing that I hope pays off,” she said. “In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that’s what I’m doing. It’s how I get the information to write my books and do my movies.”
But part of me is beginning to wonder if Farrah told MTV that she didn’t want to participate because filming Teen Mom would require – GASP! – spending time with her child. If you will recall, Sophia is living her own life, and Farrah is busy promoting her sex toys, opening a restaurant, pretending to write fiction books, gearing up for her first movie role, and working as a stripper. Where would she find the time to play mom for the cameras?
Finally a position on Farrah’s resume full of lies and delusions that we can take seriously… Farrah Abraham has landed a job as a stripper.
Of course, the former Teen Mom star is not a real stripper, silly. Just like she’s not a porn star. Farrah’s new stripper job at Palazio Gentlemen’s Club in Austin is nothing more than research for the erotic novels she’s not literate enough to write and the serious A-list movie roles she’s not yet been offered.
Following the taping, Dr. Jenn tweeted, “All I am going to say is that last night’s Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn reunion was major. It airs September 3rd and it will not disappoint.” Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, Nik Richie and Shayne Lamas, and JoJo and Tiny Hailey participated in the reunion as well, but all of the gossip surrounding the taping is about the Teen Mom stars.
It’s official now – Teen Mom couple Tyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell are expecting a baby. Catelynn shared a picture of her baby bump on Instagram yesterday, confirming what we have believed to be true for three months now.
Family spilled the news way back in May. I never doubted it because Catelynn and Tyler had revealed plans to start a family – their daughter Carly, 5, was placed for adoption at birth – and neither Catelynn nor Tyler denied the news.
At the time, Catelynn tweeted, “I am an adult and I can tell when I’m ready and idc what ANYONE says I’m gonna do me! We ARE READY for a baby. #HatersGonnaHate” and Tyler tweeted, “Yeah I want a baby, so what!? I have been through enough in my life to understand the wisdom it takes to make this decision. #BackOff #IDGAF”. So mature, right?
About her acting roles, Farrah said, “I’m kind of staying closer to roles that are Christian-based.” Um, apparently, “kind” and “of” were the operative words.
No one’s favorite Teen Mom brat turned Backdoor Teen Mom star has been cast as a “crazed evangelical Christian hellbent on beating the word of God into anyone who turns a deaf ear to it” in the slasher movie Axeman 2: Overkill.
Drama queen, thy name is Leah, lives to share vague, negative thoughts on Twitter. Her latest bender included “this is one battle I will NOT back down from, and the bitterness to come will not be on my hands” and “any action is often better than no action, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time.”
Leah‘s fans instantly assumedshe and Jeremy Calvert were having marital problems. Because, Leah. The mom of three denied it, tweeting, “Jeremy and I are perfectly fine.” But Leah’s latest chat with her tabloid of choice sings a much different tune.
Of course, when I say current events, I mean how Farrah thinks she could save Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson‘s marriage, how Fox News practically admitted they’re out to get her, and how Farrah “dabbles” with businessmen. Surely no one expected anything deep or relevant to the real world, right?