We pick up at Kyle Richards’ gay singles mixer and let me tell you, if there is one thing that unified the gays in that room it’s that they were all: “HOLLA we never have to end up tied to one of these crazy broads!” Then they retreated to a corner, made good use of the free drinks, and watched the single almond dinner show, because as we learned last night women of Beverly Hills think indulging in a hot dog shared three ways is a treat.
Kyle wants Brandi and Kim Richards to leave – obviously because they have sucked the air out of a party already about dry spells – but Kim just sits at some table in the mood-glow lighting like, ‘I don’t want to leave it’s my by-proxy party cause Kyle is my sister and I can ruin it if I want to!’ Brandi hauls her out, after reminding her that Kyle is not her sister, which jerks Kim to life, cause – Brand is right!!! Huh?
Outside Kim complains that Kyle was trying to “force” Brandi to spill secrets about her life and wanted to embarrass her. Oh, and Kyle is to blame for everything. Brandi and Kim are a toxic mess.
As the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star shared in a blog last month, she has a chronic form of the disease Lyme Neuroborreliosis, which is a spirochete infection that affects the brain. Despite the fact that we’ve been watching Yolanda on our televisions for the past three years, she talked of her struggles to read, write, watch TV, or talk because her brain was “confiscated” and she couldn’t “process information or any stimulation.” Except for dinner parties.
Yolanda has been traveling to Asia for treatments with David by her side. The almost E.G.O.T. reveals he’s doing his best to stick by his ailing wife, because wedding vows love and all that!
Before I continue with this recap I have two points to make:
1) Can we stop with the “My gays”? No one has “gays!” Just like no one has “heteros!” I loathe the so-called possession and ownership of “gays.” Gay people are just people, who are not ubiquitously defined by their sexuality no matter what Real Housewives want us to think. Plus, whatever “gays” Kyle has cobbled together, they clearly do not love her that much to let her dress that bad! Maybe it’s passive-aggressive payback for her leading them around LA referring to them as My Gay 1, My Gay Blonde, My Gay Ladysitter…
2) Why the hell would anyone fight for possession of “My Kim”? They do realize Kims come with Kingsley. And also, at the end of the day (HA!), it’s still Kim – who is praying to a trashcan and speaking gobbledy-goop, insisting it’s a language you just haven’t learned yet! It’s just Kim taking cancer medication as a fun-zany experiment while she accidentally smokes a dildo because she confused it with the e-cigarette she bought from that kiosk in the mall, on Tuesday, errrrr… I mean Wednesday, errrr… I mean during the 9, uhhhh 7, uuummmm 5 days she was in Promises Malibu the hospital working on her tan!
Yolanda Foster has traveled the world in search of treatments and/or a cure for Lyme disease. Late December, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star suffered a “very serious” relapse, and she recently shared that she has lost the ability to read, write, watch television, or process any other kinds of stimulation. Somehow she’s able to tweet, text, and post pics on Instagram. #SideEye
Yolanda recently traveled to Singapore for a pricey treatment which is not FDA approved. While there, she shared pictures of herself alternating between lying in a hospital bed and hanging out with David Foster on the set of Asia’s Got Talent. Now home, Yolanda has shared several messages about her current condition – “I don’t remember what it is like to be normal” – and thanked fellow famewhore Kris Jenner for sending her flowers. Follow her journey below.
So here we are at Eileen Davidson‘s house where Kyle and Brandi are sobbing, shrieking, and shoving each other in the driveway. I’m pretty sure we learned in kindergarten to use conversation to solve problems, not name-calling, cuss words, gift bags, hands, side-boobs, bracelets, wine, or pizza?! Or Eileen’s driveway!
And while Kyle and Brandi are arguing over who gets custody of Kim Richards, Kim is standing their like “Duuuuuuude… I’m high. Where’s my pizza?” Literally she asked Brandi what happened to the pizza slice – well Brandi threw at your sister, Kim. I would say go grab another one but you’re probably banned from Eileen’s home!
You can’t escape the latest “it” girl, and why would you want to? Gigi Hadid is drop-dead gorgeous (as are her siblings), she’s dating Cody Simpson, and she counts Taylor Swift (love), Selena Gomez, and Kendall Jenner among her besties. She just landed a coveted contract with Maybelline. Girlfriend is having one heck of a year.
The stunning nineteen-year-old first came on our radar with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as her mother Yolanda Foster monitored her snack intake. Now Gigi’s star is shining brighter than all the lemons in YoFo’s ridiculous refrigerator. Seriously. Growing up the daughter of Mohammed and Yolanda alone would be enough to potentially turn her into a spoiled and entitled wild child…much like some other reality stars’ kids who shall remain nameless. However, Gigi seems incredibly down to earth both on the show and in interviews.
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week. Enjoy!
True Tori star Tori Spelling shared, “In bed with a terrible migraine. 3 things getting me thru it… bag of frozen peas (quick fix for ice pack), homemade lavender face mist (great essential oil for headaches), and Saranoni blanket in Ivory a must for the bedroom.”
Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.