Teen Mom 2 Recap: Horrible Blasts From The Bad Boy Past

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Girls, girls, girls!  I have all but given up on the young "ladies" of Teen Mom 2.  Let's not even start with Jenelle Evans' recent rehab stint…let's just talk about the bad decisions they made in last night's episode alone!  Get it together, Kailyn Lowry!  Pick a guy, Leah Calvert Sims Messer!  Do something about your hair, Chelsea Houska!  And Jenelle?  In all seriousness.  Get off Twitter and get your life together for that precious little boy!  Whew…it felt good to get that off my chest! 

Last night's episode begins with Kailyn prepping for her first exchange with Jo in weeks.  She's had Isaac to herself for almost a month while waiting on their hearing.  Now that the protection from abuse order is dropped, she isn't excited to drop Isaac off because she knows that she and Jo won't speak.  Kailyn is livid thinking about the fact that Jo has his girlfriend around their son.  She puts Isaac before her, Javi and her friends…even when Javi is spending the night.  It's not the same as selfish Jo continuing to live with his family and hang out with Vee once a week.  Why can't anyone see the difference?  Geez!  I can't help but notice two things–Kailyn is getting very dolled up to see her ex, and she seems to be taking her tanning cues from Chelsea and Leah.  Orange you glad that Kailyn got a spray tan?  The trade-off is very tense, and Kailyn informs Jo that Isaac has a cold.  If he takes their son to the doctor, he'd better let her know!

Jenelle hasn't spoken to Gary since she found out that he hooked up with Tori before they started dating.  She's looking forward to getting off probation so she can fall back into the Keiffer trap.  He's texted her that it's them and Jace against the world.  Let's leave sweet Jace out of this, shall we Keiffer?  Her roommate wonders why Jenelle is even giving Keiffer the time of day.  She's re-evaluated the pros and cons between Keiffer and Gary, and while Gary has a job and a car, Keiffer is nice to her.  He's getting his act together…and by "getting his act together" she means that he's no longer incarcerated.

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Chelsea is learning a lot in beauty school.  It appears to be perm day in class.  Now if only Chelsea could apply what she's learned to her own head of hair.  On her way home, she hears from Adam for the first time in the weeks since they hooked up.  She still hasn't gotten her period, but she thinks all is well in the pregnancy department.  Chelsea whines to her daughter that she's always falling into the same trap, but she's excited when Adam agrees to come over to see her and Aubree.

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I am glad to see that Leah's friend Kayla is becoming a staple.  With her dry delivery and penchant for subtle eye rolling, she's the only person in Leah's life that seems to think that Leah is making the dumbest decisions possible.  Leah shares that she's been honest with Jeremy regarding her feelings for Corey.  Jeremy has told Leah she needs to choose between them, but she's still super confused.  She needs to get off this whole "family fairytale" kick.  Kayla is Team Corey, as am I, but for me being Team Corey is wanting the best for Corey. I think he needs to run from Leah while being the best possible dad to the twins.  Leah is going to approach Corey about trying to make it work.  Kayla warns her friend that if Corey seems ambivalent (okay, so she didn't quite use that word…), she needs to give up on her dream of reconciliation.

In a matter of days, Jenelle will be off probation.  Barbara is sad to learn that her daughter has kicked Gary to the curb, and she's worried her daughter will welcome Keiffer back with open arms.  Jenelle tells her mom that she's looking forward to being off probation so she can smoke weed again.  What?  Barbara can't believe what she's hearing.  No worries, Barbara.  Janelle is only addicted to a plant.  It's not like she's jonesing for meth.  Jenelle certainly knows how to spin things, doesn't she?  Barbara expresses her concerns about Keiffer, and Jenelle assures her mom that it's not like she's going to move in with him right away.  Oh, good.  That should make Barbara feel better!  She tries to convince her mom that Keiffer has changed, and Jenelle refuses to listen when her mother reminds her that Keiffer is the reason she was in so much trouble over the last year.

Once she gets home from beauty school, Chelsea waits patiently to hear back from Adam.  Crickets.  She tells her mom that she plans to keep texting to see his plans.  Chelsea admits that she was happy to hear from him, and on cue he texts her back saying he's too tired to come over tonight.  She's mad that she got Aubree all excited about Adam's visit.  Is she sure SHE wasn't the one who was super excited?  There's no time to contemplate that question because Chelsea sees that Adam has commented on a Facebook status that he has plans to go to the movies that evening.  Tired, my arse!  Chelsea's mom isn't surprised by this turn of events.  She asks her mom for advice on what to text Adam.  Chelsea writes that she can't believe he's ditching his daughter for a movie.  Adam responds that he's not ditching Aubree, he's ditching Chelsea.  Take the hint, girlfriend.  Stop trying with this loser!

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Jo is thrilled to have time with his son even though Kailyn is struggling with the awkward exchange.  Isaac is enjoying his time with his grandparents…and with Vee.  Jo's mom questions him about the co-parenting classes, and Jo really thinks it would be beneficial for both of them and Isaac.  His mother cautions him to keep Vee from her until she can get a handle on her jealousy.  If you had told me last season (not last season from a few weeks ago, but the legitimate last season) that Jo would be the mature one in this relationship, I would have tried to see you some ocean front property in Arizona.  Man, I love George Strait!  🙂

Feeling only slightly guilty, Leah goes to see Corey's new house.  He has two bathtubs.  Corey is wooing her pizza delivery and Monster energy drinks.  If this were any other teen dad, I'd have snark galore, but I love that Corey doesn't put on airs.  He explains that he bought the house for a family.  Why is it that these two can never look one another in the face when they have a conversation?  Corey breaks the awkwardness by asking why he can't get over Leah's "little ass."  She's smitten with his romantic words.  He and camo hat think it sucks that he's so confused by their relationship.  Corey wants to know where Leah stands as far as their relationship.  He's scared that she's able to have strong feelings for both himself and Jeremy.  Corey is also feels badly about potentially hurting Jeremy.  He seems more concerned about Jeremy's feelings than Jeremy's fiance does.  Corey wants to take things slow, and that isn't what Leah wants to hear.  It's either all or nothing.  He looks to the Heavens (or is he eyeballing camo hat?) for some guidance.

Chelsea is getting impatient while waiting on Aunt Flo.  Meanwhile, Adam is chowing down on wings with his gel haired entourage.  He gets some pro-Chelsea advice from his crew, and Adam admits that he'll always have Chelsea's back.  I think what he meant to say is that he'll always have Chelsea ON HER back.  Adam's friends advise him to co-parent and put his daughter first.  I'm not sure if he's listening…mmm, these wings are good. 

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Keiffer is planning a trip down from New Jersey to see his one true love, and he'll be in Oak Isle as soon as Jenelle buys him a bus ticket.  Red flag?  Jenelle heads into court, and her attorney Dustin Sullivan is glad she's finally completed probation.  He urges her to stay on the straight and narrow.  I think Jenelle shouldn't take Dustin out of her speed dial just yet.  Attorney and client hug it out, and I can't help but wonder if Dustin is leaving to go play tennis with my friend who is also Keiffer's court-appointed lawyer in Brunswick County…

Javi is getting an earful about Kailyn's exchange with Jo.  She thinks that time will make things more bearable.  She discusses the terms of their order, and she wants to learn how to communicate with Jo through counseling.  Javi thinks that Kailyn is defending Jo for no good reason.  Of course, Javi is going off of Kailyn's story that Jo was abusive towards her.  She reminds him that she maybe sort of put her hands on him as well, and she gets ultra-defensive.

Leah takes the twins to her mother's house to get some advice on her West Virginia love triangle.  She tells her mom that she wants to break up with Jeremy and see if she has a future with Corey.  Everything she's doing, she says is for the sake of the twins.  I'm sure that's what she thinks, but gracious that isn't how it comes across.  If she says that Corey completes her family one more time, I'm going to start calling her Jerry McGuire.

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Barbara shocks me by hanging out with Keiffer, Jenelle, and Jace.  Do what?  Way to leave me hanging, MTV, what with your quick commercial scene!  We return to the episode with Chelsea happy to finally need those tampons she recently purchased.  She tells her friend (in front of her very chatty toddler) that she's in the clear as far as pregnancy is concerned.  Chelsea goes on about her recent altercation about Adam and his movie outing.  Chelsea is ready to go back on birth control.  I am ready for Chelsea to start paying attention to her daughter and that pointy stick Aubree keeps flailing around.  Safety first, Chelsea!

At the bus station, we're treated to more than the fifteen seconds of Keiffer we got on the last commercial break.  A semi-clean Keiffer has gotten his GED in prison, and he's quick to remind Jenelle that the end of probation means she no longer has to take any more drug tests.  He's so charming.  How long do you think it will be before American Eagle offers Keiffer money to stop wearing its clothes?

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Jo brings a sleepy Isaac back to Kailyn.  While both of them recognize the importance of counseling, neither of them are comfortable  enough to bring up the subject.  Kailyn talks to her college advisor about how long it would take her to graduate if she takes lighter loads in the future.  Talking with a friend, she gets upset when he says he enjoys taking a full load.  Kailyn doesn't appreciate getting the "buckle down" speech.

Having maybe kind of sort of made her decision, Leah is prepared to ask Jeremy to move out of the house to pursue a relationship with Corey.  Jeremy wants to know how long Leah expects him to wait for her.  He tells her everything she doesn't want to hear about her relationship with Corey.  I want to applaud Jeremy for laying down the law, but I also know he's doing it to maintain a place in Leah's heart.  I'd respect him more if he just stood his ground.  He packs his stuff, promising that if he leaves that will be the last she hears from him.  Leah returns the engagement ring as Jeremy says good-bye to the twins.  We all know this isn't the end for these crazy kids!

Next week, Jenelle contemplates a boob job, and Kailyn wants to take Jo back to court in an attempt to keep Vee from being around Isaac.  She is terribly exhausting!  Chelsea has to move, and Corey and Jeremy have a sit down where Corey sings Jeremy's praises as both a step father to his daughters and a partner to his ex-wife.  I bet Leah didn't see that one coming! 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  IS CHELSEA STARTING TO BE THE MOST STABLE OF THE GIRLS?  SAY IT ISN'T SO!

[Photo Credit: MTV]

 

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