So far, the Married to Medicine reunion has covered the unspoken hierarchy among the cast, arrest records, broken friendships, never-ending gossip, and the season-long feud between Mariah Huq and Toya Bush-Harris. Part one ended with Andy Cohen welcoming Lucy to the stage.

WHY?!? The reunion does not need Lucy's input. In my opinion, Mariah's mother has NO place at the reunion, especially considering the husbands are not even there. Nevertheless, Lucy makes an appearance, and she is just as annoying as I feared. 

Right out of the gate, Lucy plays the victim, crying about how bad Toya hurt her family. "Friends do not do that," she says. "There's no excuse for it." So, Andy points out, Lucy said she was happy that "Mariah beat Toya" and she, too, smacked Toya in the head with her purse. Lucy is like, I AM happy that Mariah beat her, and she's lucky I didn't attack her too. I'm confused. So, beating on your friends is perfectly acceptable, then? 


Don't get me wrong – I do not think Toya was in the right just because I believe Lucy and Mariah were in the wrong. They ALL played a part in that fight. But I do believe Mariah took it to the next level, clinging to the beauty shop gossip storyline, to garner sympathy from the viewers. 


Focus #1 – Toya and Lucy

Lucy reveals that she called Toya to apologize for her part in the fight. Toya adds, SEVEN MONTHS LATER. And she thinks the only reason she called is because Mariah's publicist made her cause they were "looking like a hot mess", but Lucy insists her apology was sincere. In the background, Mariah is like, I begged her not to call! Toya feels like the phone call should have happened long before seven months out. Mariah thinks you can't put a time frame on when someone should feel ready to reach out, apologize, feel regret, etc. STOP THE PRESSES: I agree. She's absolutely right. Everyone does process things in their own away, some faster than others, and so on. Lucy adds, Toya has a "slow" problem, and all my warm and fuzzy feelings are gone. Mariah thinks that Toya should have called Lauren, to which Toya says, "Why would I call a child?!" 

For the 329th time, Toya insists that there was no malicious intent, and Mariah remarks, "Yes, there was. Yes, there was." Lucy tells Toya that she forgives her. "You forgive me?!" yells Toya. "I'm trying to forgive you for being a bad representation of a mother!" Quad calmly asks Toya not to take things to a place they need not go. Lucy is yelling. Toya is yelling. I cannot make out what anyone is saying. I *think* Lucy calls Toya a "dummy" and  a "black blonde" and Toya tells Lucy that she needs help. Mariah is like, No, you need help. Great progress, no?

So, we're back to discussing the beauty shop gossip, which Toya calls bullsh-t gossip. I hear: Toya is not changing her story or saying that she never talked about Lauren's adoption with her stylist. Rather, she wants it to be understood that she never walked into any beauty shop, sat down, and gossiped about Mariah's family in an attempt to expose their secret and/or do harm. If you listen carefully during part one of the reunion, Mariah changed her story, saying that she knows it wasn't Toya who took the information back to the beauty shop. 

Anyway, Lucy jumps in to say that it's not even about the gossip at this point, it's about WHAT Toya said about Lauren. Andy comments, "But she wasn't being malicious," to which Mariah and Lucy say, "Oh yes she was!" Toya's mouth is still running, mind you, and Lucy only gets her attention when she repeatedly calls her "sweetheart" in a condescending tone. Then, Lucy accuses Toya and Eugene of plotting malicious attacks against Mariah's family. Mariah says, "Toya's always devising a scheme," to which Lucy adds, "That's their pillow talk." OMG. These two are TOO MUCH.

"They think Eugene and I sit and talk about them and figure out ways to be them or hurt them," laughs Toya. "There's nothing Mariah has that I want. Her home? It's great, fine, but it ain't 1.3 [million, the price of the home she’s building]." HAHA. Like Kari Wells, Toya needs to learn to stop talking when she's ahead, but I still think she's funny. She goes on to point out that her husband, Eugene, is a director at the hospital, which actually places him "higher" than Mariah's husband, Aydin. Oh snap! Mariah is not happy about this revelation; Lucy says something about Eugene wearing dresses. Huh? "Let's not play these petty games," says Toya. "You really, in your mind, think that you're someone's queen." Lucy is like, She is!, and Mariah is like, I am! 

Andy reminds Mariah that Toya apologized on the wine tour. Mariah says, she sincerely accepted it, but then Toya got mad all over again. According to Toya, Mariah never stopped stirring the pot, and that's the reason things never got better. Mariah wants it to be known that she only turned on Toya again because she didn't come to the last dinner at her house. First of all, Mariah admitted that she only invited Toya and Kari so she could say she wants nothing to do with them, so I don't know why she's so mad. Well, other than the blow to her precious ego. Second, Mariah knows Toya and her family had just received news that her father-in-law died, and that's why she didn't attend the dinner. Mariah refuses to admit on camera that Toya had a damn good reason to not attend her dinner. 

Mariah puts an end to the feud/friendship once and for all, saying, "There's nowhere to go. This is where it ends." With that, Andy dismisses Lucy, and I do a little happy dance. 


Focus #2 – Mariah's Unresolved Issues with Simone and Kari

Dr. Simone Whitmore still feels like Mariah is "holding her hostage" because she didn't call her after her fight with Toya. Mariah was upset with Simone for not reaching out to her immediately after the fight, which is funny since she JUST said that no one can put a time frame on when another person should feel ready to do something, but she insists that she has since forgiven her. Simone doesn't believe her. After a little more discussion, Simone says that she just wasn't ready to talk to Mariah before the wine tour, and Mariah says, "OK." They hug it out. 

Is there an end to Mariah's issues with Kari? It seems like every single word out of Kari's mouth has offended Mariah in some way. First, Mariah takes issue with "little girl from nowhere makes good." Kari explains, it's meant to be a compliment, meaning she worked hard to get to where she is today. Still, Mariah feels insulted, adding that she may have come from humble beginnings but that does not mean she came from nothing. 

Next, we learn that Duncan has a big penis, and it may or may not have the hots for Mariah. OMG. Too. Much. Information. Mariah says, Duncan had a banana in his pants!, and Kari says, Duncan is well-endowed, Mariah pointed it out, and then Duncan joked that she makes him feel that way. Andy smiles. Mariah calls Kari a liar. Moving on!

Last, Mariah has a problem with Kari saying that she should "get on her knees and kiss the ring." Mariah says, "That's pimp talk! That's the way a man has treated you." Quad Webb-Lunceford "signs" delusional. Again, Kari says Mariah's interpretation is all wrong, pointing out that it's something done in Italy with the Pope. Kari adds, "I wouldn't want your lips on my ring anyway," to which Mariah says, "I don't want your lips anywhere; they belong in panties." Wow. Mariah would have flipped her lid if Kari had said something like that to her. Kari cries, Mariah has never been nice and kind to me, and Mariah insists, Kari would not even associate with a young black girl like me if I was not nice and kind to her. 


Focus #3 – Mariah and Quad's Fabulosity

The Mariah and Quad montage reel sounds like this: she this, no tea no shade, she that, giving life, she this, catch fire, she that, catch that dirt, she this, what's the tea, she that, yassss, she got it, deep, she got it, check your email, catch, catch, catch, shady boots, catch.

And, last but not least, "Every dog has its day. It ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun." That one – I love! 🙂  

Andy asks, what's the deal with the language? Of course, they do not admit to trying to emulate Tamar Braxton, Sheree Whitfield, Phaedra Parks, Nene Leakes, Andrea Kelly, etc. They say, when you have a Good Judy – a gay best friend – you naturally pick up his lingo. Quad adds, "But a lot of it is off-the-cuff." 

Andy asks Mariah point-blank if she's trying to "be" Tamar Braxton. "That's absurd," she says. "For anyone to think they created talking in third person, they would have to be from Mars." How do the other ladies feel about Mariah and Quad's language? Dr. Jackie Walters finds the "she" talk to be confusing, but she admits to liking the "catch fire" phrase. Toya is not a fan. As a mother, she doesn't want to teach her kids to speak incorrectly or to say things like shady boots, and then she drops the f-bomb. HAHA. If Toya and Kari would stop talking about three sentences sooner, they wouldn't piss off so many people.  

Good Judy also takes the blame for Mariah and Quad's horrid, rainbow sherbet inspired eye shadow. Mariah says, "He showed us a little too much love over the eye," and she admits that the shadow made them look like drag queens.

Focus #4 – What's Your Diagnosis, Dr. Jackie? 

I love to see the smiles on Simone and Jackie's faces when they watch each other on the season's highlight clips. It's obvious that these two truly love one another. It's also quite clear, to me, that Bravo (and Mariah's ego) completely ruined what could have been a really great show.

As we all know, Jackie is a two-time breast cancer survivor, and the cancer treatments harmed her fertility. Jackie shares, she tried fertility treatments, to no avail, and she has been denied adoption because her battle with cancer is too recent. Now, it's been five years, but she cannot bear the thought of being told no again.

At the lemon squeeze, Mariah told Jackie that she isn't capable of understanding her pain because she doesn't have children, and Jackie already has admitted that Mariah's words stung. Jackie adds, she feels as if Mariah's words were inappropriate but not meant to be malicious. Mariah says that she never meant to intentionally hurt Jackie.

At the end of the day, Jackie just wants everyone to accept their part in the season's drama and not let their battle wounds cloud their judgment/actions. 


Focus #5 – Delusions of Grandeur 

Andy compliments the show's theme song. Of course, Mariah and Quad assume Andy means Quad's personal, unofficial theme. Take a seat. Andy meant the Married to Medicine intro. 

Next, Andy asks a few viewer questions, including whether or not Quad grows tired of Gregory's squeaky voice. "Absolutely not," says Quad. One viewer pokes fun at Toya's mispronunciation of czar, and Toya makes herself look worse by talking too much. Again. Another viewer thinks Toya is obsessed with expensive things, and Andy adds that he feels sorry for Eugene. I, too, felt sorry for Eugene once or twice. Toya answers, she likes name-brand stuff, so what, and we do not need to feel sorry for Eugene, as he's just as much of a spender as she is. Sorry, but Eugene's pouty, sad face will get me every time! 

Next, Andy asks what we're all thinking, why the hell is Jackie on this show? In my head, I hear Julia Roberts say, "Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now." On my TV, however, Jackie talks about her hope to bring a little class to reality TV. Jackie wonders – Are there any other women like her on reality TV? 

Hollywood Exes star Nicole Murphy immediately comes to my mind, and I think the fact that she is also an executive producer of the show is worth a mention. How many times did we hear Nicole bitch and whine about being the Queen Bee of Hollywood? That's right – NEVER! 

Right on cue, Andy points out that Mariah clung to that title all season long, saying, "Maintaining her crown was a battle to the bitter end." So true; also, Mariah shows no remorse for the things she did and the people she hurt along the way. In my opinion, all is right in Mariah's world as long as she makes a name for herself in reality TV and/or remains at the top of her social ladder. 

Final thoughts: Toya is over the petty drama. Mariah insists that she has forgiven Toya. Andy is like, You have?!, and calls Mariah a shady tree. Mariah goes on to say that she's more upset with Kari than anyone else. Kari starts to interrupt; Mariah asks that she be able to state her opinion. Is she serious? You get what you give, Mariah! Get. What. You. Give. Anyway, Mariah doesn't believe anything that Kari says, adding that her apologies are bullsh-t. Kari tells Mariah that she's full of hate, to which Mariah says, "No. I'm not even going to receive that."  

Looking directly at the Queen Bee, Jackie says, in order to have closure, we have to allow the other person to say their part and accept (not agree, per se, but accept) what they say. Nice thought, Jackie, but Mariah would rather "chop up the snake and throw it out." Of course, Mariah doesn't want anyone to take that the wrong way, as it's "just a figure of speech." You know, like kiss the ring. Oh. Wait. #hypocrite

In conclusion, Simone and Quad hope that time will heal everyone's wounds. Kari wants truth to be told. Toya prays. Mariah isn't sure if there will be a "six of us" following the reunion show but maintains that she'll always be the "queen bee." With a tilt of the head, she adds, "Catch that dirt."  


Photo credit: Bravo

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