Melissa Gorga Elaborates On “Treat Him Like A King” Mindset In Her Home; Lashes Back At Book Bashers

Bethenny Melissa Gorga Joe Gorga

Joe and Melissa Gorga were guests on Bethenny Frankel's talk show yesterday (taped a few days prior) and they talked about everything from Melissa's marriage messages in her book to the cheating rumors and Joe reveals that he never changes diapers. 

Bethenny dives right in, asking Melissa what the whole "treat your man like a king theory" means to her.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey star says, "If you treat your man like the king, you will be his queen. If he's happy, if he's satisfied, he feels like he's got everything he needs. It's not just about happy in the bedroom, it's about respect, honesty, treating him like he runs the show but yet I'm really runnin' the show."

She continues, "It's about loyalty, it's about complimenting him, he compliments me back." 


Bethenny asks Joe if this is really what goes on in their house and he says definitely.  Bethenny wants to know how Joe treats Melissa like a queen.  "I treat her with love, respect, I tell her she's beautiful. She says I'm handsome.  We play that game still.  We're still like teenagers in love". 

Bethenny: "Does that mean she never turns you down in the bedroom?"  Joe says, "No, not really. She fights it sometimes.  She fights it, but I always win."  He then gives TMI about convincing Melissa to have sex the night before. "Daddy needs his sleeping pill". 

Bethenny asks if the king theory works if the woman is more successful.  Melissa says "you don't have to cook dinner every night. You can put the Chinese in a dish and hand him a glass with ice and just show you care. He's gonna do the same for you. It's gotta go both ways, it's not one sided at all". 

Bethenny reads an excerpt from the book and wants Melissa to elaborate on this part: "couples where the man does typical feminine chores have less sex. When gender roles are confused the sexual roles are too."   Tiki Barber and his pregnant wife Traci are on the "panel" with the Gorgas and explain that they split the chores.  Traci cooks and Tiki cleans, etc.  Melissa chimes in and says that's great, but not how it goes at their house.  "It's not how our household is run, but I really like that a lot (motioning to Tiki).  It's not how ours is run, but I'm fine with that."  

Bethenny asks Joe if he changes diapers and he says no, never.  "Not that I won't do it, she just jumps up and does it."  Melissa butts in to reiterate "there's a lot that I get from Joe that I need.  So, it's a give and take.  It's not just about who is gonna wash the floor and who's gonna change diapers.  I get a lot emotionally from him.  I get a lot of compliments from Joe. And he backs me up like no other. That, to me, is amazing.  And I understand, but one of the things I talk about in my book is do not compare yourself to other couples. Don't sit with other couples and then say 'he changes diapers, why don't you?'".   "You need to see what's right in your marriage.  I'm explaining what goes good in my marriage."

Joe reveals he wants a lot more kids (a football team), but Melissa says "no", she's done. 

They move on to the subject of men and women looking through each other's phones.  Joe and Melissa say that they share a code and trust each other completely and don't feel the need to look.  Bethenny asks if the cheating rumors have made them slightly insecure, but they both say no.  Melissa says "they're so ridiculous, it's kinda in one ear and out the other."  When Bethenny asks if the rumors hurt her feelings, Melissa responds, "it's not so much about the rumors, it's more about where did it come from and who's starting this". 

When Bethenny wants to know if there are things they do to keep the trust going, Joe says "we're married and I come home and her phone's there and I never look through it.  I trust her. If we didn't have trust, I wouldn't have married her. I couldn't go to work every day and worry about my wife  I can't be successful doing that. " 

Joe admits that he's very jealous. "If my wife is over there dancing, I want her over here dancing for me.  I want her all to myself. All the attention with me."   Melissa and Tiki's wife both say they're jealous of their spouse's jobs and all the time they spend there.   

Bethenny says to Melissa, "so you're the one who got on the show first, do you like that he's as involved as you are or do you want it to be your thing?"   Melissa replies, "I feel like I'm fine with it. The more we do it together, the better it is for the couple.  Reality TV is very difficult for marriages and in general, so the more we do it together and do these things together, the better it will be. "


In other Gorga news, after the internet buzzed this week over Melissa's book, she took to Twitter last night to lash out at the haters, "I’m so disgusted that a reporter has taken things completely out of context simply for shock value. #SAD.  If you’ve read my book, you know that I am promoting mutual love, respect, honesty, and loyalty. #TRUTH." 


P.S.  I have to admit that Bethenny's talk show is getting a little better each time I watch.  The first week was a little rough and she was a bit high strung, but she has settled down and seems to be finding her stride.  I still hate the pretaped segments and the way they edit some of it together in a choppy way and out of order, but overall it's not bad. 

Photo Credit: Mike CoppolaGetty Images for Bethenny