Last night was part 2 of the Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunion. The conversation was all about sex and who’s having it with those they shouldn’t be! Thank you Bravo for giving me d–k in a box for Easter. Or should I say d–k in a basket?
Andy begins by asking Cynthia Bailey and Porsha Williams about their boat brawl. Despite spending the season pretending to be friends, Cynthia and Porsha now dislike each other for some mysterious reason, so MONTHS later they are now arguing over who’s at fault.
Kandi Burruss admits that the other ladies convinced Porsha to go and talk to Cynthia after she walked away from their verbal fight.
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Porsha blames Cynthia for escalating things by grabbing her wrist, which prompted her to straddle Cynthia’s chair. Cynthia argues that Porsha stuck her finger in Cynthia’s face. But you guys, Porsha was just talking with her hands very very very close to Cynthia’s face, because Cynthia was doing it first! Kenya Moore, who cannot shut up for the love of money nor mommy, gets on her crumbling soapbox about how violating personal space is uncalled for — said the woman who shoved a bullhorn and scepter in someone’s face, threatened to beat a pregnant woman, and tried to yank Kim Fields‘ chair out from under her over a job she never applied for. I guess what I’m saying is, those in Moore Manors without glass shouldn’t cast stones.
A viewer even reads Kenya for being the instigator on all the physical altercations that have happened on the show in the last few seasons, so Kenya reminds us that Porsha beat up her assistant.
Porsha retaliates by calling Kenya out on having an affair with a one-eyed African who’s married. Lest you think ‘one eyed African’ is a pet name for male genitalia, you’re wrong. He really is an African with an eye patch, who also happens to be a preacher. And a married preacher at that.
Sheree Whitfield fans herself in shock. (I love Sheree!) Kenya plays dumb and then starts ranting about who paid for Porsha’s Rolls (I thought it was a Bentley?) and all the married men she’s been with, because the internet spreads rumors as much as Porsha spreads legs.
Why are there more mysterious African sugar daddies on this show than there are Housewives? What kind of operation is Andy Cohen running here? Security!
Although I do agree that Porsha can never take responsibility. Cynthia complains that Porsha exaggerated her injuries like blaming her for the bruises on her arms and legs – which came from being tackled by a producer – not from being kicked in the stomach by Cynthia (which resulted in a contusion), but apparently it was Phaedra Parks who was telling everyone how roughed up Porsha was. Do we really care? No we don’t.
Finally Porsha halfheartedly apologizes. Boat trips with Real Housewives should never be allowed.
Andy then chooses this moment to discuss Kenya’s relationship with her mother. He wonders about Kenya’s decision to bring cameras to surprise her mother, and if that may have been the reason Patricia didn’t open the door. Kenya disagrees, because her mother has always denied her. Kenya is still frustrated by Aunt Lori‘s perspective and feels she can say whatever she wants about Patricia so long as it’s the truth. I agree with that.
Porsha defends saying Kenya‘s issues are linked back to never knowing a mother’s love (although she has seen A Mother’s Love as produced and directed by Kandi and starring Porsha!). Kenya disagrees, claiming she is the apple of her father’s eye and he adores her, which is why they hadn’t spoken in years and were shown on Real Housewives Of Atlanta reunifying and working on their distant and unhealthy relationship? Porsha believes Kenya’s lack of relationship with her parents is the reason she shows so little compassion to others. I agree but that’s an ironic statement coming from Porsha.
Then, we move on to Peter Thomas and His Women. Peter comes out, hardly wearing Cynthia Bailey Eyewear which is a metaphor for his hardly convincing us that he loves Cynthia. Cynthia and Peter are NOT separated – NOT AT ALL – they’re just working super super hard on their businesses while permanently residing in different cities and barely seeing each other at all. Porsha calls out Peachter for cheating with every woman in Atlanta who is over 19, which is apparently the gossip all throughout Atlanta. Porsha would like to personally interview Peter’s waitstaff to see if they’re being paid with d–k. Apparently she’s become the Bar One Human Resources department, conducting deep probes into the Peachter Problems!
I wonder if Porsha’s sudden animosity towards Peter has anything to do with Kordell? Kenya shrieks about Porsha being a gold digging harlot who is working hard for her money – on her back. “You need to shut your mouth, Porsha, because if there’s not a d–k in it, you don’t even know what you’re saying!” So thanks Kenya for bringing all the class – she is dragging it to this show in garbage bags! I’m sorry, I cannot even pay much attention to what Kenya is squawking over because her hair needs some Moore frizz-eaze and a little less re-purposed, re-scented tap water.
Porsha challenges Kenya to worry about the d–k she’s tucking and instructs Cynthia to worry about the waitresses in Atlanta who are giving Peachter the peach strudel on the side.
Andy asks if Cynthia feels like a hypocrite for spreading cheating rumors about Phaedra Parks last season when she’s now on the receiving end? Cynthia admits she does, and apologizes. Phaedra nods imperceptibly which I assume indicates she accepts? Kenya and Porsha are too busy slinging d–ks at each other to notice this moment of women actually behaving like women.
Then throwing all shade, and not the Cynthia Bailey Eyewear variety, Andy wonders if Peachter would leave Cynthia if she quit the show – you know implying that he’s using her for TV! They both claim that Real Housewives Of Atlanta makes their marriage worse. Reality check – they both need that check and Peachter ain’t leaving Cynthia until that check stops coming!
Then they’ll be on Marriage Bootcamp.
That touching cheating footage is interrupted by Ayden stopping by to say hello to Phaedra and read fun silly questions to the ladies such as is Sheree wearing She By Sheree (No – it doesn’t exist and she is not about to be She By The Empress’s New Clothes.).
Moments after Ayden departs, Andy grills Phaedra about Apollo. According to Phaedra the visit to Ft. Dix went OK, but was less emotional than expected. The boys were happy to see Apollo, but got bored after an hour. Unfortunately they had to stay, and even more unfortunately, some inappropriate behavior took place in the back row when someone got caught with their hand down someone’s pants. I guess the guards caught the perpetrators in the act? Phaedra was not thrilled to be non-explaining that to Ayden and Dylan! Everybody knows it’s best to keep your hands out of the cookie jar during prison visitation, and instead keep your hands filled with vending machine snacks!
Phaedra has filed for divorce, although Apollo has not signed papers. Phaedra is sick of people judging her for the choices she is making with her children – specifically people who have not reached out to her or the boys. People like … KANDI. Kandi’s perspective is that Apollo will be getting out eventually and the boys would then have no relationship with their father.
Phaedra, rightfully so, reminds Kandi that it was APOLLO’S CHOICE to commit crimes that took him away from his children, and also APOLLO’S CHOICE to run around town with other people’s huzzzzbands getting UP to no good. Kandi argues that it was Phaedra’s choice to be with Apollo – true, but when she chose to be with him, he wasn’t breaking the law and getting himself sent to jail. Once that happened – different story. Her children come first, not Apollo’s feelings!
Apparently only Gregg Leakes and Kim’s husband Chris have offered to spend time with the boys. Kandi and Cynthia didn’t think Phaedra would be receptive of them offering to help out. I call nonsense on that – ESPECIALLY from Kandi. Her garage is full of Apollo’s crap, and so is her mind. Oh, and Phaedra will not be paying Apollo any conjugal visits – even to convince him to sign those divorce papers!
Andy brings up the scene of Phaedra taking Ayden to his first day of school. Phaedra cries thinking about how much she loves her sons and what a good boy Ayden is. I love Phaedra the mom, and whatever anyone wants to say about her, she is absolutely a devoted and loving mother who has a really good relationship with those boys. Good for her for accepting that she must move on from Apollo – she has planted the peach stones and is now growing a beautiful tree.
Finally it’s time to discuss Glen Rice Jr. in Miami, and this is where Phaedra loses me completely. I don’t care WHAT provocation happened between Glen and Kenya, his behavior was gross and inexcusable! He should have been man enough to tuck his d–k and walk out the door if he was feeling so unhappy with Kenya’s ‘flirtations’ or comments.
Kenya was correct – if Glen had come at any one else, the other ladies would unequivocally stand behind her. I also think Kim was lying that she didn’t feel threatened by Glen’s behavior!
However, Kenya can deny, deny, deny, but initially she did have an interest in Glen – she invited him to the house, tried flirting, but when he rebuffed her, she started antagonizing him. That doesn’t condone Glen’s reaction – he was so wrong on so many levels – but I see what the other women were saying, and I do believe a lot of the story was left out. A few things were cleared up in the discussion at the reunion, but it’s definitely clear that some serious pieces were edited out.
We all know Kenya LOVES to call security (apparently only when she doesn’t need it, which makes her The Girl Who Cries Security, right?), so why at the time when security was actually necessary, did she choose to confront Glen herself? She previously asked Tammy to have Glen leave – and he was complying, yet as he was walking out the door, why did Kenya comment to him again? That is odd, because if she felt so uncomfortable around him – rightfully so because he was crazy, drunk, and irascible – why go near him again? Basically, as Kim said, there’s a difference between instigation and information.
For the other women to dismiss his behavior as odd, or not threatening, is bizarre however. He was charging Kenya, calling her bitch and other nasty things. Clearly behaving like someone unhinged.
Regarding Phaedra and Sheree’s conversation comparing Glen to Michael Brown, that was idiotic beyond belief. Perhaps there was a more relevant point made that was edited out or overlooked by me? Maybe it was how Glen’s behavior is not indicative of black men, and by instigating, as they believe Kenya did, she was reinforcing those stereotypes? I mean… I’m baffled by what comparison is there but I’m [thankfully] not in Phaedra’s head.
“At the end of the day”: it’s extremely disappointing that the women rallied against Kenya here, out of their dislike for her (because she has, as Kandi said, “done so many crazy things”), instead of using this moment to rally with her to point out how GLEN is the one giving “white ladies in suburbia” a negative opinion about black men, and to show that men should NEVER behave aggressively towards women – even if provoked.
I mean, hell, as Kandi said that crazy loon even came at her – a pregnant woman who was minding her own business on the sidelines!
TELL US – WAS KENYA HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A ONE-EYED AFRICAN? IS PETER CHEATING WITH ALL OF ATLANTA? SHOULD THE WOMEN BE BLAMING KENYA FOR GLEN’S ACTIONS?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]