Eva’s wedding gown consisted of a 400 foot train (length and width) with these weird insect leg things that propelled out from her bust like rings of Saturn. Essentially the bottom part was Princess Diana. Meanwhile, the top was Alien Queen. I really didn’t get the effect.
Especially when coupled with Eva’s hair, which featured an ENORMOUS crown thingy that looked like it belonged with a Frozen costume and frizzy hair underneath her veil. Also, super long pointy matte white nails like she painted them with White-Out. You know you did that in middle school too! Anyway, I felt like the whole look was stiff, overdone, and not particularly flattering. Very costume-like. Just me?
It’s a few days after NeNe’s “Bye Wig” party, and it would be a welcome relief if the only drama had been Kim Zolciak getting dragged out by her wig. But, alas it was far worse! It was actually a pregnant Porsha Williams being chased out (or dragged out by her belt?) for going in NeNe’s closet without permission. Seriously -what happened with the belt?!
Porsha meets up with Kandi Burruss and Marlo Hampton for a mid-afternoon gab session, and even though she does NOT – under no circumstance! – want to talk about belts, Porsha is wearing a dress with like 3 attached dress. So Freudian belt? Subliminal message?
There has NEVER been an episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta where all the women were rocking their natural hair. As you recall Kim Zolciak has worn wigs since Season 1, and it ushered in a wigstravaganza of no real hair shall be seen for fear of frayed edges exposed. But, last night NeNe Leakes broke that mold by hosting a “Wig Free Party” and expected everyone to come dressed accordingly.
I really didn’t understand the purpose of this party other than to shame everyone about their natural hair, or to expose their messy split ends. But no wigs it is!
It was a night of changes galore for the ladies of Real Housewives Of Atlanta. And despite what Japanese fortunes may have predicted, everyone’s lives were shifting and sliding in various directions. Just like the empty old wine bottles Cynthia Bailey wants to affix to the walls of her new wine bar.
I mean Jesus told Cynthia to do it and she is a “prayer of Jesus” who says recycle thy juice of the holy spirit. Or maybe that’s just Cynthia’s way of hiding how much wine she and her fellow Housewives consume?
Last night the Real Housewives Of Atlanta ended their trip to Tokyo with some tears, but plenty of laughs. I never thought we’d see a Real Housewives trip end without a major blowout fight. However, it turns out pickles make people laugh, they make people love, and they make people forget all their rude thoughts! More pickles for the reunion, Andy Cohen!
Over in Japan Dennis McKinley is missing Porsha Williams so much he sends her a bouquet of flowers that looks like the vegetation in a Super Mario Brothers game from the 90’s.
This so-called arrangement was a hot mess that was bursting out of its box – just like Porsha’s boobs were bursting out of her top. Some mad science definitely was being used to keep those things taped. She was one sneeze away from an explosion. NASA has better things to do, y’all!