Southern Charm Recap: Party Pooping

After Kathryn Dennis’ epic polo match meltdown on last week’s Southern Charm, it’s seems only natural to follow up with a Thomas Ravenel showdown at a flamingo soiree, right? And Patricia Altschul was worried about drama at her party…that’s not a thing with this crowd!

T-Rav heads to JD’s to vent about what happened in Aiken. He reveals that when he threatened not to co-sign Kathryn’s lease, she became so distraught that she had to be hospitalized. Thomas worries about the risks of his son being born prematurely, and he’s ready to write his name on the bottom line. JD warns that his friend doesn’t need to fall prey to any manipulation on Kathryn’s part. T-Rav definitely believes he’s being manipulated, but he blames Jennifer for pulling the puppet strings. Ever since she wanted more from him after their drunken fling (Thomas’ words, not mine), she’s been instigating and doing her best to upset Kathryn by tracking his every move on social media and sharing it with Kathryn. Of course, if it’s on social media, can’t Kathryn find out about T-Rav’s shenanigans herself? The pair both seem rather adept at Twitter rants and Instagram shade. 

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Shepard “Shep” Rose receives a call from Cameran Eubanks who is suffering from a bad case of number three. Unable to hide his laughter, Shep teases that her cooking may be the cause of her intestinal issues. He’s on his way to Craig Conover’s new office to watch him physically submit his bar application. Craig’s biggest concern is whether to adhere his passport photo with velcro tabs or a glue stick. Really, Craig? Velcro tabs? Craig says he’s excited to be working on JD’s bourbon business, and he feels he has great experience given all the brown liquor he’s consumed in his lifetime. Shep likens that comparison to Craig being able to run Chevrolet just because he knows how to drive. Shaking his head, he offers to drive Craig to the Canadian mail center to make sure the application doesn’t get lost in transit.

Across town, Cameran is lunching with Danni and their friend Leva and Cameran is wary because Leva isn’t drinking wine. No, she’s not pregnant, but she’s trying. Her pals grill Cameran about why her biological clock isn’t ticking, but she retorts that every month she tries not to get pregnant. Joking aside, Cameran admits that while by all accounts she seems ready for a baby (great marriage? Check. Financial stability? Check.), she just doesn’t want to start a family yet. She wonders if her decision is rooted in anxiety. 

At Mrs. Pat’s abode, the lawn is being manicured, Michael the butler is polishing silver, and Pat and her party planner are prepping for her flamingo event. She will be showcasing her signature cocktail fountain, over a hundred inflatable flamingos, and a fortune teller.

Meanwhile (because who needs a job when you’re on this show?), Craig and Landon Clements are heading to spa to get lunch hour pedicures. Craig gets a call from Jennifer informing him about Kathryn’s pregnancy scare, and she is quick to share that Thomas was nowhere to be seen at the hospital. Landon has little patience for Jennifer’s news that Kathryn could have died. People go to the hospital everyday. It’s not a big deal! She’s fine, now let’s hit the spa! Jennifer encourages Craig to reach out to Kathryn, and becomes uncomfortable when Landon goes off on Kathryn’s attempts at crying wolf.

Speaking of Kathryn, she’s not keen on having Thomas in her life or their kids’ lives if he’s not willing to co-sign her lease. On cue, he calls to tell her he has submitted all of the paperwork and would love to help her when she’s ready to move. While Kathryn is disturbed that it took something as serious as a trip to the ER to motivate T-Rav, she’s excited about his change of heart…and her new house. Oh hey, Broad Street–there’s my friend’s mother’s house! 

Southern Charm Craig Landon

Before her event, Patricia is getting dolled up by her make-up artist as Michael presents jewelry to her on a silver platter. Pat is of the generation of dresses, heels, and coifs, and parties call for added glamour.

Thomas is pre-partying with his friend Josh (that hair!) while waiting on Landon to pick them up on her golf cart. He explains to Josh that Landon is a great girl with many skills, and perhaps Josh may become privy to those skills if he gets to know her on a more intimate basis. Thomas can’t hide his smirk in his talking head interview when he states the pair are “just friends.”

As the charmers convene on Patricia’s property, Landon giggles to Patricia that she came in full flamingo attire and snarks that Shep’s date is more Frederick’s of Hollywood than Saks Fifth Avenue. Just as cringe-worthy is T-Rav trying to hit on a college senior. I can’t believe it, but but I’ve missed Whitney Sudler-Smith! Craig comes bearing a gift for Patricia–a huge bedazzled martini glass. While it won’t fit in with her centuries-old china, she will find a place for it (likely next to T-Rav’s giant candle in the Goodwill pile). Cameran swoops in wearing a humongous flamingo hat as Shep and his lady friend strip down to their skivvies for a dip in the pool. Their prank drenches Patricia, and neither Landon or the girl that Shep was with at Royal American find the duo’s antics adorable. 

Southern Charm pat

Discussing his conversation with Jennifer, Craig questions whether T-Rav went to visit Kathryn in the hospital. What? He most certainly did! Thomas exclaims that he’s sick of Jennifer meddling in his relationship with Kathryn and his children. Craig thinks that Jennifer annoys Thomas because she was supposed to be the secret mistress…she wasn’t supposed to stick around to befriend Kathryn. Royal American girl tries to get the skinny from Landon on her feelings for Shep. Landon laughs that they have known each other forever, but they are just friends. Sure they may have made out a million years ago, but who hasn’t made out with Shep? In her talking head, Landon admits that sometimes she wonders if she should pursue a relationship with Shep, but she doesn’t want to get hurt if he’s not in the same place. 

Southern Charm whitney

Back from a one episode hiatus (thankfully!), Cordially Cooper Ray approaches Patricia about her recent iciness. Does it have something to do with his new friendship with Kathryn? Of course not! She’s had house guests, that’s why she’s been so distant! Cooper apologizes for allowing his insecurity and her busy schedule to interfere with their weekly chats. However, he muses that Pat’s problem with Kathryn is rooted in the fact that Kathryn reminds Patricia of her younger self. Patricia reminds Cooper that if she had an issue with him, he wouldn’t have been invited to the party, but in her interview she’s quick to call his desire to be friendly with Kathryn unattractive. She likens him to a poor man’s Truman Capote, but I have to wonder if Truman wasn’t the poor man’s Cooper Ray? Minutes later, Cameran topples into the shrubbery while laughing at the idea of Shep making love. Whitney has to physically lift her out of the bushes, and it’s amazing comic relief. 

As the guests down the rose, Jennifer makes her entrance. Thomas can’t believe that Kathryn was excluded from the party yet this pot stirrer was invited. He’d like to toss her into the pool, but JD reminds him of that incident with the hairdresser. Bad idea. Jennifer approaches JD and Elizabeth to get their take on Kathryn’s tantrum. She feels caught in the middle because she’s friends with both of them. Thomas pulls aside Jennifer to confront her about spreading rumors about being absent from the hospital. She clarifies that she simply said he didn’t spend the night. Oh, that pesky playback! Is he lying? Is Craig lying? He’s yelling at Jennifer and she retorts that she’s Kathryn’s only friend. Shouldn’t he be one too? She suggests they call Kathryn immediately. T-Rav believes this proves his point. Why would Jennifer want to call Kathryn when she knows it will only upset her? As everyone watches, Thomas storms off and Jennifer dials Kathryn to rehash their argument. 

Southern Charm thomas

At Thomas’ request, Whitney instructs his mother to eject Jennifer from the party. When Pat sees Jennifer talking on her phone, she inquires as to if Kathryn’s getting a play-by-play. Pat announces that there is a spy in their midst, and Jennifer hightails it out of the shindig finally realizing how it feels to be Kathryn. Thomas rants that Jennifer is more than welcome to tell Kathryn he’s been with a thousand women, but please, just wait until after the baby’s born so it won’t cause any additional stress. 

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? IS JENNIFER STIRRING THE POT? 

[Photo Credit: Bravo]