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Jacqueline Laurita

If you have been waiting for Jacqueline Laurita‘s take on the last episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, sorry, you’re sh-t out of luck.

Jacqueline claims she “can’t remember” the last episode, adding, “So I’m just going to share my thoughts on Melissa Gorga because…why not?” She says Melissa is a “two-faced trouble making RAT!” who lies. A lot. “The list is a mile long. It’s insane. I will save some of her lies in my back pocket for a later time.”

Jac blames Melissa for her “scattered emotions” about Teresa Giudice. Not PMS? Not her period? What happened to those convenient excuses?

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“Unfortunately, Gossip Girl Melissa has forced me to tell the truth about her shenanigans because of her twisted tales she tells. Melissa is the sole reason my emotions were so scattered about Teresa. I really wanted to believe that Teresa was sincere about wanting to rebuild our friendship, HOWEVER, Melissa was the one who kept me from believing it was ever genuine from day one!”

Jacqueline continues on (and on) about all the feelings Melissa forced her to feel, “Melissa was the one who told me not to trust Teresa. Melissa was the one that told me Teresa’s friendship with me was not real or sincere and not to trust it or her! Melissa is the one who made me feel paranoid and confused about my friendship with Teresa. I would listen to Melissa, but then when I would actually spent time with Teresa, it felt real and normal, like the good old days. I felt confused. Melissa is the one who always made me doubt my friendship with Teresa.”

When Melissa was not telepathically controlling Jacqueline‘s thoughts, she was spilling Teresa‘s secrets. “Melissa kept me in the loop all of the time (just like she did with Danielle) and I wasn’t the only person she was talking to.” But, if this happened, Jacqueline looks just as bad as Melissa. So what’s her point?

RELATED: Teresa Giudice and Danielle Staub Do Yoga Together These Days

Jacqueline insists Melissa is also responsible for the shift in relationships on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

“It’s obvious how so many relationships changed once Melissa came into the picture. It is ALL CLEAR to me now! She definitely was in everyone’s head causing problems. The real paranoia came from Melissa who then projected it onto me, because as we know in the past everyone has had a relationship with Teresa except for Melissa. Melissa’s paranoia was worrying about me getting close to Teresa again because she was finally getting acceptance from Teresa publicly and she didn’t want anyone to take her spot.”

Jacqueline goes on to say that Melissa called her every day to gossip about “the inside scoop” from Teresa‘s lawyer. Jac downplayed her participation in these alleged gossip sessions, asking, “Who wouldn’t?” Um, someone who has her friend’s best interests at heart, that’s who.

Melissa also wanted to know EVERY detail of EVERY moment I spent talking to Teresa. I could tell it bothered her when we got along. I wonder what she was busy telling Teresa all that time behind my back. I did see some of it. All this deceiving and plotting just to get that ‘Ethel’ status? Trust me, she can have that spot. It’s absolutely not appealing to me anymore. I’m better than that. I’ve moved on and up from that.”

Jacqueline, who claims she only leaves her house for work or charity, calls out Melissa‘s thirst, for both fame and gossip.

“I’m not out looking for gossip, like Melissa does, but it just comes to me at times (usually from Melissa’s mouth). Unlike others, I don’t like assuming rumors and gossip to be true. I think I’ve shown that I give people the benefit of doubt, and I go straight to the source, or find out the facts first. I’m about truth. You can call me an investigator if you want, but I prefer to call myself a truth seeker, or a fact checker. Melissa, on the other hand, is just a nasty gossip.”

RELATED: Melissa “Relieved” That She and Jacqueline Are No Longer Friends

Jacqueline claims Melissa and Teresa‘s reconciliation isn’t genuine, at least not on Melissa’s part. “She wanted to play the game for her family.”

After bragging about what a giving and selfless friend she is, Jacqueline says, “Melissa is mischievous. She plants seeds and waters them and waits for them to grow so she can hide behind them, hoping to take the light off herself. Sorry girl, I can still see you, and you’re ALL DIRTY, especially your hands. Melissa is a dirty, sneaky, RAT!

Jacqueline says Teresa and Melissa are desperate to make her look bad.

“Fortunately for me, just because they say it, doesn’t make it true. They simply can’t change the reality. There’s definitely a pattern with these two shady girls. Facts are facts and they are out there! Their opinions of me and made up lies don’t mean anything to me or affect my life in any way. Either way, I am winning! My light is bright and shining stronger than ever!! Life is good over here!! I am happy!!”

TELL US – WHO ARE YOU MORE INCLINED TO BELIEVE: MELISSA OR JACQUELINE? DO YOU THINK JACQUELINE IS AS HAPPY AND CONTENT IN HER LIFE AS SHE CLAIMS?

Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo

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