Captain Lee Calls Lauren Burchnell A “One Woman Wrecking Crew” And Calls Her Out For Stirring The Pot

Though his blog this week isn’t quite as vitriolic as the past two, Captain Lee Rosbach is still less than pleased with the motley crew he’s saddled with for this season of Below Deck. Disappointed in Kelley Johnson, disgusted with Lauren Burchnell, and amused/confused by Ben Robinson, Lee hopes his crew can just hold it together for ONE last charter.

Lee begins, “I am not sure that I have had this many crew members so unfocused this late in the season. We seem to be shooting ourselves in the foot time and time again for no apparent reason. It is abundantly clear to me that some of this crew do not have their heads in the game, and this our most important guest to date, Mr. Dean Slover.” Ugh. No props to Slover, please!


Despite most of the viewing audience being repelled by Dean’s third appearance on BD, Captain Lee seems to like his whiny, creepy a$$! What he did not like: Kelley stranding Dean and friends on an island. Or Kelley bashing the tender into the side of a mega-yacht, which Lee calls “a rookie mistake.”

But Lee also blames Nico Scholly, in part, for the missing keys debacle: “Everyone knows that when you pull in for transient docking, you leave the keys with the boat, just in case the dock master needs to move it. Nico, you should have known that as well given all the experience you have had. Kelley, I feel that you may have been trying too hard to succeed and it was causing you problems. There are times when you just need a bit of assistance to get over the hump, so that is why I gave Nico the responsibility of Senior Deckhand, to ease some of the burden on you.”

Nico’s promotion was also intended “to see if Nico would stop some of his childish behavior and step up his game if he got some more responsibility,” writes Lee. “Listening to Lauren in his ear is not doing him any favors, but he doesn’t seem to have realized that yet, so we will see how it all plays out.”

“Speaking of Lauren,” continues Lee, “how is it you got the whole promotion thing f—ed up? And why do you think it is your responsibility to run around the boat spreading misinformation. You are at the lowest spot on the ladder, you should be doing your job, and keeping your mouth shut. But you just can’t resist can you? As soon as you’re done stirring the pot about Nico’s promotion, you insert yourself into the interior crew’s affairs as well. And to top it off, after your superior admonishes you for gossiping, what do you do? You go straight back to Nico and try and toss Kelley under the bus. My, but aren’t you the one women wrecking crew? Spend more time doing your job, and less time talking about everyone else and we might have a few less issues on board without you stoking everyone’s fires.”

Standing slow clap for that, Captain Lee!!! Spot on about Lauren, in my opinion. But Lee is not done with his verbal dressing-down of the crew yet. He’s got some questions for Kyle Dixonthe man, the myth, the legend! – as well.

RELATED: Kate Chastain Talks Sexual Tension With Ben Robinson

Kyle, I am confused. Who isn’t the love of your life? I have watched you espouse how Sierra [Storm] was the one woman that you were smitten with when you first got on board. Then we had your child’s mother come into the picture, and then Ashley, with whom you have had a relationship with for all of those two years. I just don’t get it. I wonder what may have happened if you and Sierra had hit it off. Where would that have left the “love of your life”? I think you must have been very good at juggling, sir. You are one of the ones that I wish would shelve their personal life and get on with your job, seeing that you can’t quite handle both at the same time.”

As for Emily Warburton-Adam, Captain Lee does feel like her romance with Ben is interfering with her duties. He was also turned off by Emily’s haughty attitude about Kyle’s girlfriend, Ashley. “The yacht is not the setting for the dating game at all. One other thing, I did feel that your assessment of Ashley was a bit on the snobbish side and uncalled for. That didn’t become you at all,” asserts Lee, who thinks Emily “is too bright” to act that way.

Ben’s strange dating behavior is still stumping Captain Lee, who admits, “Ben, you still are amazing me. You have some of the best culinary skills of anyone I have ever worked with. I was a bit surprised at your mistake with the broth and the ice. Not like you, which makes me think that your head isn’t entirely in the game here. You can tell Em what’s for dinner, but not Kate [Chastain] because you’re trying to get a carrot cake in the oven. You can do that in your sleep. I think that you would be better served by you doing your job to the best of your ability, and letting Em do hers and woo her on your off time.”

“But you do get the best line of the night for when you blurted out, ‘You want to come stay in a hotel with me,’ right out of nowhere. Now that to me sounded like something the spider would say to the fly. You killed me with that one Ben. Kate gets second best line with Bemily. Loved that one as well.”

Kate mostly stays off of Captain Lee’s Naughty List again this week. He addresses her ups and downs: “Kate, it was a tough week, but I thought you handled it well. I was surprised that you didn’t come down on Em a bit more for not responding to the radio when I called, but she has been doing a good job up to this point, so I can see where you gave her the benefit of the doubt.”

Finally, Lee hilariously references the additional crew member known as Hideous A. Bouquet, in his blog’s closing. “Also, dealing with the flowers that looked like they were straight out of a Godfather movie was done well,” he tells Kate. “They should not have been on board while we were on charter. Just got in the way. Thanks for not making them the issue Ben did.”


Photo Credit:  Virginia Sherwood/Bravo