Southern Charm Recap: Say You’re Sari!


Finally an episode of Southern Charm with some kick! Not only did it leave me craving some curry and a caftan, it finally centered around the dynamic we all want to watch. Whether you love or hate the drama constantly swirling around Thomas Ravenel and Kathryn Dennis, it makes for good television…and I feel a lot less guilty saying that now that they are less of a train wreck!

After her quick visit to Pork City, population two, Chelsea jokes with Cameran Eubanks that Austen Kroll knocked the cobwebs off her hooha with their recent tryst. And here I was thinking Charleston had gotten yet another barbecue joint! As the girls gossip, Thomas takes daughter Kensie on a driving tour of Charleston pointing out all of the Ravenel rich history while omitting his prison stint, of course. While he’s droning on about the family name, his ex Kathryn is reaching out to his best friend–and her nemesis–to make amends. For the pot-stirring Whitney Sudler-Smith, that’s a voicemail worth its weight in dollar signs!


Because you’re only as good as your story line, Craig Conover and Naomie Olindo head to couple’s counseling. A sullen Craig and a pouty Naomie play with flashcards to describe how they behave when it comes to yelling, name calling, and fighting in public. I’d say the counselor is getting a pretty accurate glimpse into their relationship as they bicker and undermine one another in the middle of their session. What is it with therapists and their love of tapestries?

Austen and Landon Clements meet at the Royal American to pound a few beverages. Nothing screams “the future Mrs. Ravenel” like a shot of cold tequila and a Mich Ultra. I’m sure Patricia Altschul would have an opinion on Landon’s lumbersexual attire. Landon lays on the charm and dolphin giggle as she teases her companion about his new girlfriend. She’s happy he’s coupled up…she just hopes she can land a husband before her dog dies. She’d like her pooch to have a second chance at playing the ring bearer. When Austen inquires about Landon’s feelings for T-Rav, she plays coy, assuring him she has no interest in Thomas’ money or baby mama drama. In an amazing coincidence courtesy of Andy Cohen, Shep Rose stumbles across the duo when he happens into the bar for a drink. He’s secretly happy to see a potential new couple because that means that surely Chelsea is back on the market. Unfortunately, Landon squelches his hopes, chirping that Austen is the New Shep. While Shep 2.0 is more fun than the original, sadly, he’s taken.

Thomas is meeting with his father who may be stealing the episode with his jovial nature. Not only does the man have a bridge named after him, he’s got jokes, too. He refuses to say he’s lived in Charleston for his entire life because he’s not dead yet. Thomas describes his family life after his parents divorced, and he seems to really care about his father’s opinion of him. T-Rav wants to make his father proud with his beautiful young family, which is definitely working better than the cocaine arrest.

Where is Velocity Air Sports? Because I really need to go there. Austen and Chelsea head out on what looks like the most amazing date ever, complete with trampoline and ninja warrior obstacle courses. Chelsea makes middle school boner jokes and complains about Austen’s sweaty head in what can only be described as an eighth grade courting ritual. The conversation turns to Austen’s mom being the family backbone, and Chelsea sarcastically notes the age difference between Austen and his younger sister. Does he ever wonder why his parents were so hesitant to have another child after dealing with him? She finds this observation hilarious until Austen tells the heartbreaking story of his older sister who died from injuries sustained from a fall at Chimney Rock during a family hike when he was seven and she was ten. Chelsea feels horribly for teasing Austen, and she’s appreciative he felt close enough to her to share his vulnerable side.

Years ago, Georgette Mosbacher, business woman extraordinaire, and Ms. Pat forged a friendship at a fancy party by bonding over their love of firearms. Now, the ladies are partnering for their pet influenced caftan line while buzzing Mr. Belvedere for daytime cocktails. They plan to share their line with Whitney and his pals over a dinner inspired by their recent trip to India. Georgette warns Patricia that she won’t stand for rude guests so she hopes the crew will be on their best behavior. Seriously, has she ever seen this show before?

Kathryn is meeting Chelsea for the first time at the salon, with Chelsea giving her a new ‘do for some modeling head shots. Chelsea came highly recommended by Shep, and she quickly disarms her new client and has Kathryn opening up about her precious children and trials with Thomas. She reveals that she and Thomas have had no communication save one text message in almost a year. After her stint in rehab, she realizes just how important it is to co-parent and put their differences aside. She gets teary explaining that she feels humbled to have been able to give Thomas the one thing that has pleased his hard-to-please father…beautiful children. Kathryn admits she will always love the womanizing asshat, but she’s glad to be at a place where she knows they are not good for one another.


JD heads to Thomas‘ office, and he’s surprised to learn that Kathryn took his advice and has written Thomas a letter. T-Rav asserts he is blown away by how genuine and apologetic she seems. He ever reads the heartfelt letter to his friend where Kathryn expressed her desire to positively co-parent for seven pages. FRONT AND BACK. The couple has such a history of drama, Thomas is unsure of what do with this olive branch. JD suggests extending his own, but a wary Thomas worries it could be a trap.

That evening, Pat and Georgette are hosting their Indian themed dinner party, and the girls are excited to be dressing the part. Landon even YouTubed sari wrapping before hopping in a pedicab over to Pat’s manor. Whitney‘s new girlfriend Daisy seems to have missed the memo and mistakenly dressed for a Great Gatsby party.


The dinner party seems to be off to a tame start with lots of laugh and joking. Craig is telling a story before getting hushed by Pat who wants to introduce the guest of honor…Georgette’s giant diamond. Holy shiz, screams Cameran. which is met with a judgmental eyebrow arch by Georgette. What did she say about table language? Cameran is convinced Georgette will be a good influence on these heathens as Craig wonders if “crap” is an appropriate alternative for the ish. Georgette preaches that manners are amazing but to forgive is divine. It is, in her esteemed opinion, the most important lesson in being gracious. She’s clearly never seen this show before. The second special guest arrives. An Indian healer is going to be reading the guests energy and telling their future based on questions from their counterparts. The healer freaks out Cameran with the news she’ll be expecting a baby by the end of 2017.

Craig‘s turn is next, and Shep tries to undermine his legal aspirations. She shuts him down quickly, stating the law is Craig’s passion and he’ll pass the bar this year. And now, she’s two for two! Shep rolls his eyes when she claims Naomie and Craig are soul mates. The healer further puts Shep in his place by predicting he won’t be getting married any time soon. He will only focus on finding his true love when he becomes too fearful of spending his life alone. Landon seems pretty stoked to learn she is in for the real deal the second time around…and his money he may even be in the room.


When T-Rav is in the hot seat, Whitney gives a very detailed question about Thomas‘ future with Kathryn, stating Kathryn reached out to him to make amends. Cameran and Landon have extremely volatile responses about to this news. Cameran believes that the only person Kathryn needs to make amends with is Thomas. Landon is just peeved her meal ticket may get bogged down with more drama. Craig interrupts to say that perhaps this is just one of Kathryn’s twelve steps. She is clearly looking for a fresh start. Landon, Cameran, and Pat couldn’t disagree more, and Shep intervenes with multiple f-bombs. He can’t believe his friends are being so hateful. Craig calls out Landon for being antagonistic towards Kathryn, and she demands an apology. Naomie is clearly upset that her boyfriend is defending someone her desired circle deems indefensible, but damn if she forgot the flashcards to effectively communicate her feelings to Craig. Georgette is appalled by the group’s language and shouting and excuses herself from the scene as Shep storms out in frustration. So, yeah, it was your run-of-the-mill Southern Charm dinner party…


Photo Credit: Bravo TV