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Southern Charm recap

Last night’s Southern Charm was extra large and super charged. That’s the motto of Key West, right? It’s a mythical place where feuds are mended, insincere apologies abound, marlin shirts are couture, and dolphins swarm the shore line. Go ahead and plan your vacay–it’s a charming place, indeed!

As the episode begins, Mr. Belvedere Michael is washing Patricia Altshcul’s Bentley,Cameran Eubanks is foregoing a breakfast cocktail, and Craig Conover is teaming up with Gizmo to embroider some baby clothes for Cameran’s psychic predicted baby. Shepard Rose surprises Chelsea at her house, and she doesn’t seem nervous to see him, even after her rendition of events at the Commodore Club to Austen Kroll. She tells him not to judge her as she lounges around eating peanut butter right out of the jar. Shep wants to apologize if Chelsea thought he was trying to be inappropriate with her. Truth be told, he may have had a few of the feels for Chelsea, but he retreated before they could explore a potential relationship.

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Kathryn Dennis drops in on Cameran to discuss her upcoming birthday trip. Cameran admits that it is a last hoorah before trying for a child, and Kathryn does her best to calm Cameran’s fears. Kathryn shares that motherhood is by far her best accomplishment and promises Cameran will have beautiful babies with her husband Jason. Um, maybe not. Cam jokes that Jason looked like an albino opossum as an infant.

Cutting to the chase of the visit, Cameran explains that Landon Clements will be on the trip, and Landon believes it’s Kathryn‘s duty to reach out to smooth over their tumultuous past. Kathryn doesn’t balk as I’d expect, but she does respond that if anyone should be in the business of doling out apologies, it should be Landon. After all, Landon accompanied Thomas Ravenel of a three-day Valentine’s trip meant for Kathryn (until their feuding got her removed from the short guest list). While Landon swears they stayed in separate quarters, the getaway (which took place a few weeks before Kathryn and T-Rav reconciled for a minute to conceive Saint) understandably rubbed Kathryn the wrong way. Cameran is shocked by this news. She is finally understanding Kathryn’s deep seated insecurities (at least where Landon is concerned. She’s not a licensed therapist, after all!). Cameran is seeing Landon in a bit of a different light, and it’s not a good look.

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Naomie Olindo arrives home, and Craig reveals the pair has been tip-toeing around each other since their latest therapy session. She questions him about the onesie he’s creating for Cameran’s birthday and is hesitant to come on the birthday trip due to their recent troubles. Craig wonders why she is being so distant, and she counters that she has a hard time taking their relationship seriously given that she’s busy all day while Craig collaborates with Gizmo over monograms. Naomie isn’t confident that Craig is going to break out of his rut, and she threatens to ghost on the trip if he’s the least bit disrespectful. Craig is appalled by her admission, but she shrugs it off as she’s clearly at her wit’s end.

At Ms. Pat’s manor, Whitney Sudler-Smith is joining his mother for some champs to show off his new readers. Pat orders him to remove the goggles as seeing her baby in glasses makes her feel old. Michael presents Patricia with some box cutters on a silver platter so she can open the $32K gold elephant clock she won on an auction site. No one listens to poor Michael as he tries to teach Pat and Whitney where to place the elephant passenger’s servant. He would know, right? Congratulations, Whitney. This is part of your inheritance!

A few blocks down, Landon is taking it slow when it comes to T-Rav’s courting, which basically means talking condescendingly about the mother of his children in his home while declining a glass of wine. She has reservations about Cameran’s Key West trip given Kathryn’s past bad behavior, but she’s torn because she’s got the perfect beach wardrobe.

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That evening, Austen is taking Chelsea to Kiawah Island to meet his parents, and they are rehashing their prior conversation surrounding Shep and the grabbing. Chelsea has become a human thesaurus and is now countering that Shep “grabbed” her arm. Perhaps he just “took a hold” of her arm. Austen is visibly rattled. Chelsea has clearly spoken to Shep which is why she’s changed the narrative. Chelsea feigns confusion for making Shep’s actions seem aggressive while admitting she did run into Shep, who apologized. Of course she forgets to mention that she ran into Shep the night before when he showed up on her front porch. Semantics…all of it! Austen tensely introduces his new lady to his parents, and Chelsea dives in to being a parents’ dream by offering to help and begging to hear stories of young Austen. Apparently, Austen once took some palm fronds on Palm Sunday at church and used them to tickle other parishioners on the feet. Chelsea jokes that this must have happened last year, and Austen sullenly realizes that on the cusp of their first fight, Chelsea has completely won over his parents.

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When the first crew arrives in Key West, Austen and Chelsea aren’t on the best terms as Chelsea has secured her own room. Whitney, sadly, is not thrilled with the accommodations. On the second group’s shuttle to the hotel, Kathryn fills in Danni and Naomie about Landon’s hopes for an apology. The girls are floored at this revelation.

Back at the beach, Jennifer Snowden appeases Landon by citing Kathryn‘s need to always have drama with someone. Cameran brings up the Valentine’s trip, and Landon becomes extremely defensive. When Chelsea interjects to defend Kathryn, Landon yells that Kathryn has yet to hit rock bottom and isn’t committed to getting back her kids. There is no middle ground with Landon. She’s either giggling demurely because she thinks that will endear her to the Patricias and T-Ravs of the world, or she’s on the warpath. I appreciate the predictability, and Cameran and Chelsea decide to let it slide. At least she has an ally in Jennifer.

Group two arrives at the resort to meet group one as Landon’s drunkenness hits its peak. Kathryn sneaks off to her room and the rest of the crew follows suit, save for Austen. Landon whines about her neediness and coerces Austen onto her hammock. Cameran and Chelsea watch from a window as Landon flirts unmercifully with Chelsea’s sort of boyfriend. Chelsea cringes at the girl who just denounced girl code and asks Cameran if she should be worried. Landon clearly knows that she and Austen are kind of an item, but doesn’t seem to care about Chelsea’s feelings. Cameran suggests Chelsea may have stronger feelings for Austen than she’s letting on and perhaps she should let him know that Landon’s behavior bothers her.

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Shep knocks on Austen’s door with an apology beer, and the two hash out their hateful conversation at Republic. Austen admits that Shep hitting on Chelsea wasn’t the straw that broke the camel’s back…she’s a beautiful girl, it’s no wonder Shep would be interested. What hurt Austen’s feelings was when Shep said he didn’t care about Austen’s friendship because he has always thought of Shep like a brother. No excuses, Shep takes responsibility for his wasted words and gifts Austen with twinning marlin shirts. Is this friendship? I think so! They’re bracelet buddies!

Everyone is dressed to the nines as they prepare to go to dinner, but Craig bristles when Naomie calls him out for not having room in his pockets for her phone. Perhaps he should toss the dip? Shep and Austen are wearing their matching shirts, and the ice is clearly thawing between Austen and Chelsea. As everyone sits down for dinner, Landon screams that there aren’t enough seats at the table so she’s heading back to the hotel. Isn’t she hilarious? Did Kathryn just order a margarita? Hopefully it’s a Shirley Temple. The group is too wasted for the meal, and Whitney polls Kathryn and Thomas about the odds of another hook up. Kathryn is in a lighthearted mood, and she’s cool with Whitney’s teasing. Landon exits stage left, and Whitney follows, encouraging her to hash out her issues with Kathryn. Oh Whitney. For two seconds, I thought you’d changed…

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Whitney leads Landon back to the table and plops her down right next to Kathryn. Both girls decide to sweep everything under the rug and agree to be cordial. Danni praises the two for their maturity, but Craig knows that their hatred is going to keep simmering if they don’t get to the root of the problem. As Craig plays mediator, Danni tries to intervene, begging him to just let them leave the past in the past. Naomie is mortified by Craig’s behavior, and he threatens to end their relationship on the spot. Kathryn voices her hurt over the Valentine’s trip, and a drunk Landon shrills that their common issue is Thomas. She slurs that T-Rav often uses her as a weapon against Kathryn.

Thomas is jarred by Landon’s statement, and Kathryn sees through it as well. Kathryn thinks that Landon is grasping at straws to remain relevant in a group that is seeing through her antics. Before heading out for late night shenanigans, Landon chases down Thomas to provide an explanation for her faux apology. She needs to be in the group’s good graces, and T-Rav needs to understand why it’s important for her fake friendship with Kathryn to be separate from their make-believe courtship. The following morning, the hungover party goers laugh about their stint at a drag show, as Landon crawls to breakfast blaming a migraine on her sluggishness. I used to get migraines in college all the time. My roommate called them whiskey sours though.

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Kathryn sidles up to breakfast/lunch, and she clearly didn’t have a Shirley Temple the night before. She’s complaining of dance-related injuries while Thomas shares that Kenzie will be going to the Nutcracker with some nineteen year old. Kathryn bristles. Isn’t there a court order keeping said teen from hanging out with her daughter? Thomas quips that the nineteen year old is more mature than Kathryn, and Kathryn, being more mature than normal, excuses herself from the tiff. Landon lays into Thomas, defending Kathryn as if they were actually friends (or at least had been at some point). T-Rav is confused, but one thing is clear…he’s tired of Landon’s flip-flopping. Is he the only one?

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? DID LANDON THROW THOMAS UNDER THE BUS? IS EVERYTHING OKAY WITH SHEP AND AUSTEN? 

Photo Credit: Bravo

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