Tonight, Luann de Lesseps, the Real Housewives of New York star formerly and briefly known as Luann D’Agostino, sat down with Andy Cohen to chat one-on-one about her shocking marriage breakup from Tom D’Agostino.
Andy pops by Luann‘s place in Sag Harbor after she returned from Switzerland – the place she fled to after the announcement of her split from Tom after just seven months of marriage. She says that she and Tom are in touch and they’re being grown ups about the divorce. She admits, “it’s been tough, it’s been really, really tough.”
Andy mentions that the last he saw Lu was at the reunion, where she wore her rehearsal dinner dress and was gushing about her happiness. She replies, “I think you already saw that I was having some problems.” Andy says, “well it was, for me, the first time there were cracks.”
Luann says she is happy about the fact that her co-stars (at the reunion) were finally being respectful about her marriage, even if they didn’t agree with it.
Andy asks her what was going through her mind watching the reunion as she sat there in her white dress. “It was so rough for me because the wedding was so beautiful and the memory of that night came flooding back, but I was so busy dealing with all the women and what was going on and trying to keep my head up. You have to remember I saw it for the first time like the viewers see the show. I didn’t see all of these red flags. I didn’t see him talking to Missy. I didn’t hear him talking and saying what he was saying so it was hurtful.”
Andy asserts, “the women were showing you red flags for the last year and a half.” Luann says it’s different when you see it in that perspective – on the show and the behind the scenes things she didn’t know about. She doesn’t regret wearing the dress to the reunion because it was a beautiful dress.
Is there any part of Luann that feels like a “chump,” Andy asks. “No. No, because our relationship was real and it was real love. Tom may have been flirtatious and all of that, but I know that he did not cheat on me. I know that for a fact.”
So why did they file for divorce, then? She says, “we both filed. We were both unhappy. We were both having problems and both suffering. We decided that was the best thing to do. I wasn’t happy.”
She admits she wasn’t in the best place with him when she filmed at the reunion because they’d just had a fight the weekend before and she stayed at the hotel. “I was at the reunion and standing by my husband because I respect him no matter what happened.” She was still hoping that they could work it out.
Andy tries to ask what they were fighting about, but Luann “doesn’t want to get into that.” She then just says that he said some things that were hurtful.
She says that the weekend before the reunion Tom called up an old girlfriend and they met up with a group of people and she didn’t find out about it until the next day in the press. That was the final straw for Lu.
Andy brings up the incident in the restaurant. Luann says she did not slap him, she just grabbed his face in the heat of the moment.
Andy asks what changed to make Luann stop being so confident in Tom‘s love for her and who he was. She says, “because it was constant and didn’t stop. It was every week. It was the same thing.” Luann finally couldn’t do it anymore. She didn’t think he could give up his bachelor life to live a married life in the way she wanted.
Why does Luann think Tom married her? “I think he loved me. I really, really do. And he still loves me. At this age it’s very hard to change people.” She admits she tried to get him to stop going to the Regency but he wouldn’t change his lifestyle. “I expected more. I expected change.”
Andy asks again if she believes Tom was faithful and she says she totally believes that. “He’s a flirty guy, he’s a social guy and I think people take that the wrong way sometimes.”
Luann says that what Bethenny said at the reunion about how she’d be crying in the bathroom if she was in Luann’s shoes, made Luann really think about how horrible the situation was. “My heart just kept telling me it was okay and I had my blinders on. And then all of the sudden, my blinders were off and it was like ‘Oh my God, this is not right.'”
She says when Tom was talking to Missy (forgetting he was mic’ed) that he was just trying to be charming and that’s his past life. She was hurt to see it because he was her husband, but says Missy could’ve walked away – although she clarifies that she’s not blaming Missy.
On Bethenny showing her the proof of Tom kissing another woman, Luann finally admits, “I should’ve saw the big red flag right there, but I loved him and I chose to forgive him. I thought if you can’t forgive the people you love, who can you forgive?” She says it wasn’t an affair, it was just a kiss. “It wasn’t right, but I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt, but looking back it was a major character flaw.”
She claims that Tom has not loved the limelight of the show. She says he doesn’t blame the show but it certainly didn’t help things.
Luann didn’t consciously wait until after the reunion to file for divorce.
On the rumors that Jacques is in the picture, helping her get through the divorce: “Jacques and I are friends. Tom has all of his ex-girlfriends as everyone knows. Jacques has helped me because we were very close and sometimes it’s good to have a man’s perspective.”
Luann did not give back her engagement ring and Tom didn’t ask for it back.
Andy asks if she owes any of the women an apology. Luann does not want to hear “told ya so” from any of them. “I hope I don’t have to hear that.” She won’t apologize, but she wishes she would’ve listened.
She says everyone, except for Carole, reached out to her after she announced her split from Tom.
Luann admits that she thought Bethenny was trying to put her own troubled marriage/divorce issues on her, but now when she looks at it, she knows Bethenny was sincere. “I kept charging forward with my heart and didn’t listen. People make mistakes and I that was my mistake not listen.”
Luann laughs at the rumor that she was canoodling with Scott Disick after her split. She says they were at the same restaurant but that’s it.
She says there also no truth to the rumor that Tom got cold feet the day before their wedding and almost called it off.
Luann then admits that they had broken up a few times during their seven months of marriage. “Yes, we had a couple of bouts and it happens. Couples argue, especially passionate ones.”
She says the reason she was “cocky” (Andy’s word) about how great things were during filming was because things were good then and had only gotten rocky during the past few months.
Andy asks if she’s mad at Tom and does she feel that he embarrassed her? “I felt hurt and embarrassed that he would say the things that he said.” Andy presses, “what about now? You put yourself out there, you wore white to the reunion, you said ‘this is it, this works'” Luann will only admit that she’s hurt by it. “I’m not happy, obviously. I’m getting divorced, so..”
She says she’s trying to move forward and “of course it’d be uncomfortable if he started to date one of the girls they’ve been warning me about on the show, that’s for sure.”
Luann says the one thing she would’ve done differently is waiting longer. But she truly believed it could last as long as her marriage to the Count. “I live with my heart. I’m not afraid to take chances and I’m not afraid to love. I feel like having loved is better than not having loved at all.”
Andy asks if Tom is 100% to blame for the end of the marriage and Luann says “no.” Although she wasn’t flirting or canoodling with others, she says it takes two to tango. “It was a bad situation that wasn’t going to get any better.” She doesn’t blame him but thinks life just sort of takes care of itself in a certain way.
Luann says she definitely didn’t do this for a storyline. And (major sadface!) she will NOT be moving into the townhouse with Sonja! She will find her own place to live.
Lu also says it’s too soon for dating again, but she’s open to it down the road if her co-stars want to set her up.
Andy hopes this will all lead to a new single from Luann.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK TOM WAS FAITHFUL? DOES LUANN OWE HER CO-STARS AN APOLOGY?
Photo Credit: Bravo TV