Kim Zolciak & Sheree

Kim Zolciak should definitely consider running for office. Her ability to double-talk and twist her own words is unsurpassed in the reality television world, and we all know that is saying A LOT. On second thought, forget I suggested it. She would probably win! Can you imagine? She is better suited for wigs and solo cups full of extra fruity wines.

In addition to rewriting past narratives, Kim has an innate ability to think outside of the box…especially if it’s her box and she’s cackling about Kandi Burruss wanting to lick it. You know, I have a high tolerance for crudeness, but this may even stretch past my threshold! After swearing on her children’s life about Kandi’s one time plans for Kim’s Britney, the Don’t Be Tardy star is clarifying her “joke” and insisting the ladies of Real Housewives of Atlanta are to blame for her bad behavior. Don’t ever change, Kim {sarcasm font}.

In a recent interview with, Kim dishes on this week’s episode, including the many elephants in the room. When asked about being touchy-feely with Porsha Williams, Kim replies, “We were holding hands because Kenya [Moore] proceeded to yell at me, and I will never give Kenya an ounce of my energy again. While she was busy insulting me, I was channeling my energy elsewhere. Thank you, Porsha!”

Was that really how it went? Kim was a sour puss from the moment she entered that event (are we calling that an event??).

Speaking of the elephant room, Kim believes the group will never be able to work through their issues unless they get a handy grasp on something Kim long ago mastered–complex science. She shares, “I didn’t know that the ladies had intentions of ‘resolving’ things, but to me it seemed fake. Nothing ever seems to get resolved, but it brings me hope that these women are learning quantum psychics. Having practiced this myself for over twenty years, it shows me how far away they are from truly understanding energy and the belief system. I have learned from being on this show after all these years that things just get slung back and forth,” adding, “I left these ladies in utter chaos eight months pregnant with Kash while being verbally attacked. When I decided to come back with my friend Sheree [Whitfield], I had hoped that these women would have grown and evolved, but that is not the case. I feel like they have brought me down to their level of chaos, drama, and unhappiness, and for that I am disappointed.”

Revisiting the shady (on both sides) sit down with NeNe Leakes, Kim recalls, “I had the best of intentions going into this sit down, but I had a feeling there was probably going to be some tension because of the handicap parking spot situation. I do not believe she had a handicap person with her, and I don’t condone that behavior. This was my first time sitting down with NeNe in three years in what I thought would be a great time to see what she has been up to, her successes, her failures, whatever. Just to simply catch up. But sadly I was not met with these same intentions. I have known NeNe for over fifteen years, and I felt like at her ‘White Party’ her body was there but her mind wasn’t, so as a friend would do I asked, ‘Are you OK? Are you on drugs?’ All out of sheer concern for her.”

You know, I get where Kim is coming from with this. When I watched the episode, my first thought was, Gee, Kim seems truly worried about NeNe‘s well-being. Personally, when I am out of sorts, my friends usually forgo the “Are you feeling alright” to wanting to share my toxicology screen on national television. It’s what good friends do.

Wordsmith Kim continues, deftly traversing the controversial box licking statement where she laughed and emphatically nodded her head behind her napkin as Sheree questioned her seriousness. She asserts, “I need to address this stuff with Kandi: Saying I wouldn’t let someone ‘lick my box’ is totally and completely different than saying she TRIED! There have been points in my friendship with Kandi where there has been tension, disagreements, etc. and out of my knowledge about how open she is with her sex life, I jokingly said the tension might be from me not letting her lick my box. I never said the phrase, ‘I swear on my kids I wouldn’t let her lick my box.’ Two different sentences said at two different times. All that being said, Kandi and I both know what has gone on during our entire friendship and for her to react the way she has was alarming to me and shows just how far the disconnect is after being gone so long. I had and do have a friendship with Kandi. I have dealt with this the way friends should.”

See there? Kim was not insinuating anything about Kandi with her tiny joke, and she’s certainly not continuing to throw shade about Kandi’s personal business in her explanation. Glad we’ve cleared up that misunderstanding!

Concluding the interview, Kim defends herself by revealing that she only sinks to such a low level because she is a victim of the other ladies’ negativity. It’s not her fault, and she isn’t completely responsible for her actions. It’s that simple.

She surmises, “My final thoughts: To be called names and attacked puts someone in a very defensive position. My behavior is a direct reflection of that. We can circle back around to where these women have brought me down to their level of unhappiness, and I didn’t do a great job of keeping my energy in alignment with who I am as a person; however I am happy that I can take this opportunity to better myself and learn from this and continue to grow. Maybe some others should try this as well. It’s evident that their talks of ‘energy’ and ‘positive energy’ are just a ‘show’ and a mockery of me, because their behavior reflects the direct opposite of that. It’s clear they have no idea what they are talking about in regards to the belief system which they keep referring to, by how they act and by what they say. Keep studying, ladies! For all my fans, I hope this shines some light on this situation.”

There are rumors that Oprah may be looking for a running mate in 2020.


[Photo Credit: Bravo]

Click here to read our Comment Policy