Yeehaw! After his claims 3-months ago that he would be dead in 3-months, Tiger King’s Joe Exotic is still with us on this earth. Not only that, but he’s launching an underwear line? Meanwhile, his nemesis Jeff Lowe says he’s got his own show in the works. Oh, and Carole Baskin has seized Joe’s zoo. Can’t win ’em all.
As I’m sure everyone knows, Joe is in prison. I’m also sure you’ve all read he’s been working to request a pardon from Donald Trump. Well, the request is here and right on time. That is if it was supposed to arrive in the midst of an election campaign, global pandemic, hurricane season, cross country protests, and half the nation on fire.
TMZ reports that Joe has officially submitted a 257 page case to Donald Trump. The case argues why Joe should be pardoned from his 22-year murder-for-hire sentence. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY-SEVEN PAGES! Were our Reality Tea recaps not enough evidence?! Apparently, this huge ass file includes a letter to Donald’s son Donald Jr. wherein Joe claims “I have been sexually assaulted by jail staff, beat up and tied in a chair to the point the skin came off my arms….please be my hero … my hands are damaged from the abuse in jail so I’m sorry for the soppy (sic) writing and spelling…#TrumpJr.2024.” Now that’s some fan mail. I’m sure Donnie is flattered. Of course, the federal prison reported “there was no such assault.”
Joe also claimed his health is too compromised to remain in prison until 2037. He reports suffering from immune deficiency and anemia. Sad because I thought everyone’s blood at Joe’s zoo was #meattruckstrong. Among other gems in this request is a character reference from someone whose cousin worked at the zoo. This person tried to appeal to Trump by saying Joe was given a bad shake, just like the grab ’em by the p***y” tape. I’m weak. This honestly took me OUT. Weren’t y’all just trying to seek pity for your own sexual assault? What in the actual fuck? I can’t. Later in the case, Joe admits to shooting tigers that were sick. He also seems to think his anti-gay sentiments were what caused his prison sentence? Like dude, I think its literally all the bodies in your wake. But nah. Joe pleaded, “Allow me to make you proud, to make America proud, to make the world proud. Be my hero please.”
TELL US – WILL JOE EVER BE PARDONED? DOES HE STILL HAVE A MULLET? WILL JOE BE ON NEXT SEASON OF LOVE AFTER LOCKUP?
[Photo Credit: Netflix]