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Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

Well, yachties, this is it. The Season 2 finale of Below Deck Sailing Yacht. We’ve made it through a pandemic. The dreadful Barrie Drewitt-Barlow and his twisted Brady Bunch. One charter cut short by COVID, and another cancelled altogether. A pissing match over pita bread. A broken-down tender. “Ta-tas for Trump.” The least empowering women’s empowerment dinner of all time. A chlamydia scare (that turned out to be just run-of-the-mill chafing). And a messy love triangle that’s still not over. Honestly, what didn’t happen this season? Actually I do have something: it was a rare season where no one got fired.

So, remember last week when I pointed out the potential for the first-ever crossover event in Below Deck history? Yeah…that didn’t happen. Which I also predicted, but it still feels like a missed opportunity. Especially with Season 6 of Below Deck Mediterranean right around the corner. But alas. Instead, we get a completely different crew from the Lady Michelle for the final charter of the season. For reference, that is the boat we’ll be seeing next season on Below Deck Med. So now I’m left wondering about filming schedules and whether the two shows overlapped. Did Sailing Yacht wrapped before Captain Sandy Yawn and co. headed to Croatia? Was it the other way around? I need to know.

Needless to say, the Parsifal crew is less than thrilled to be forced into serving their peers. And there’s a mirror for basically every crew member. We’ve got a chief officer, deckhands and stews. For Natasha De Bourg, there’s even a head chef and a sous chef. No pressure. But as it turns out, they have virtually nothing to worry about. From the moment the Lady Michelle crew steps on board, they’re polite, conscientious and grateful. They’re even worried about touching the stainless steel handrails so the crew doesn’t have to do more work! I mean, you don’t find better guests than that.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

The visiting crew members are also happy to talk shop, comparing the world of sailing to motor yachting. And Captain Glenn Shephard is ready flex, proudly hoisting Parsifal’s majestic sails in an attempt to convert some of the motor yachties over to his side of the industry. And honestly, it kind of works? The guests are more than a little impressed by Glenn’s prowess, and the whole experience of sailing still looks thrilling 16 episodes into the season. Since they had essentially no time to prepare, the crew is going off the cancelled charter’s preference sheet. Which means the motor yachties are getting an elegant steak and seafood dinner followed by a club night on the fly bridge. Mostly because Daisy Kelliher ordered all the decor already and is not about to let it all go to waste.

These yachties are more than happy to be given their own nightclub because they are ready to party. And uh oh, they want the Parsifal crew to party with them. Dani Soares and Sydney Zaruba are dressed up as club kid showgirls and handing out sparklers left and right. Gary King‘s dancing (and helping serve!) as he presents the coco loco seafood curry. Somehow, Daisy gets permission from Captain Glenn for the crew to do just one little shot with their fellow yachties. And right away, Glenn’s left regretting the decision. With 16 yachties from two boats on board, the season could easily end with one giant orgy. So now he has to keep a close eye and supervise as the night goes predictably off the rails.

The realization settles in that it’s the final night of the season. And while Gary and Alli Dore are officially back on, Daisy‘s suddenly feeling like she needs to tell Alli what Colin Macrae told her last week. You know, that little tidbit about Gary saying he was going to sleep with Sydney just to get Alli’s attention back when they were broken up. All of two days ago. But now, Gary and Alli are busy making out in the galley (cue on last awkward interruption from Sydney) and Daisy decides it’s all about timing. Meanwhile Dani and Jean-Luc Cerza Lanaux have one night shift left together, which they spend anxiously contemplating how to make their relationship work after the season ends.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

The next morning is the final day of the charter season. And after a bougie brunch and one last sail, Parsifal docks for the last time at the marina. The visiting crew departs and after eight charters, the season is officially done. Captain Glenn admits he’ll be sad to see the crew go after the close of the season. He’s already asked Gary and Natasha to stay on for the crossing to Spain. And if he has his way, he’ll be able to talk a few more to join him on one last voyage. While Daisy is going immediately back to her previous boat of two-and-a-half years, he offers the job to Alli and Sydney, both of whom happily accept. Of course, that means Gary, Alli and Sydney will all be staying on board. Together. People, this love triangle is never, ever going to die.

Glenn calls the crew together for one last tip meeting in the main saloon. Heaping praise on them for a job well done, he reveals the management company left a tip of $7500, which adds up to $830 per person. Not bad for a 24 hour charter with the easiest guests of the season! What’s more, he’s totaled up the big haul. Across eight charters, the team made $106,450. In tips alone. That’s $11,830 for just a few weeks of (non-stop) work. All while filming one of the most popular reality shows of the cultural moment.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

To celebrate the end of the season, Captain Glenn arranges for the entire crew to have their final dinner atop the medieval Klis Fortress near Split. Going around the table, everyone offers up their highs and lows of the season. (Or in Bravo-speak, their rose and thorn, if you will.) JL loved sliding across the dessert table, even if it meant a night spent cleaning the teak. Dani hated sailing during service. Alli laments the loss of her grandpa, and Glenn hated crashing into the dock (obviously). Most surprising of all is Natasha, who puts her ego aside for a moment to share that her biggest regret was being so combative with Daisy early in the season. Apparently, they’re good now and love each other?

Once Glenn bids the crew goodnight, it’s time for the drama. We’ve got storylines to wrap up, people! Jean-Luc and Dani pair off to make out and say their “I love you’s.” Meanwhile, Daisy decides, now that the season is ending, to break the news to Alli about what Gary said. Predictably, Alli falls apart in a puddle of tears, feeling betrayed and like an idiot for trusting him again. And it pretty much ruins the vibe for the rest of dinner, with Alli storming off and Gary having absolutely no idea what he’s done this time. Heading back to the boat, Daisy also confesses to Colin that she spilled the tea, and he’s left feeling terrible for betraying his best buddy when he should’ve just stayed quiet.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

Now it’s up to Colin to break the news to Gary. And the chief officer’s response is essentially, “you wanted the drama, you got the drama.” He feels simultaneously thrown under the bus and stabbed in the back. But, like, maybe you shouldn’t have threatened to have vindictive revenge sex in the first place? There’s an idea. At first, he pouts in his cabin, but eventually alcohol and sentimentality get the best of everyone, and the entire crew ends up in the bubble-filled hot tub together by the end of the night. Even Colin, who’s spent the entire season refusing to get in on account of his girlfriend back home! And of course Sydney is topless again. They’re one big, happy family, just in time for the season to wrap. (Except Dani and Jean-Luc, who are busy getting busy one last time in the master cabin…)

The next morning is departure day, but only for half the crew. Packing up, Jean-Luc, Dani, Daisy and Colin say their goodbyes. But everyone else has just two days to prep Parsifal for the long journey to Spain, where it’ll presumably undergo repairs from the crash. Gary and Alli have made up from their spat the previous night, but there’s still time to throw in one more wrench. Since additional crew will be moving in for the crossing, Gary and Sydney somehow think it’s a good idea to share a cabin. Huh? Obviously, this doesn’t go over well with Alli, who eventually takes the spot with Gary and leaves Sydney to bunk with Natasha.

Below Deck Sailing Yacht Season 2 Finale Recap: An Orgy of Yachties

But if the very end of the finale is any indication, the good vibes don’t last long. With the camera crew also having departed, the remaining crew members are left to document the four-day crossing on their phones. Everything is copacetic and happy on day 1. Alli and Sydney have even (allegedly) made up! They’ve talked things out off camera and everything is good between them. By day 4 Gary and Alli’s relationship is falling apart again. And this time, it seems to have nothing to do with Sydney’s interference. Are we surprised? Guess we’ll have to wait until next week’s reunion to find out just how the boatmance finally imploded once and for all…

TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE SUPERSIZED FINALE? ARE YOU SURPRISED GARY AND ALLI’S RELATIONSHIP DIDN’T EVEN SURVIVE THE CROSSING? WHICH (IF ANY) CREW MEMBERS DO YOU WANT TO RETURN FOR SEASON 3?

[Photo Credit: Bravo]