Real Housewives of Orange County Season 17, Episode 13 Recap: Big News, Bigger Secret

Real Housewives of Orange county recap
(Photo by Jerod Harris/Getty Images for Nobu Newport Beach)

It was pumpkin spice latte’s all around during the last episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County. Fall was in the air as Taylor Armstrong hosted an outdoor fall festival for the ladies to carve pumpkins without verbally carving each other up. The pumpkin designs were basic, with a classic champs from Heather Dubrow. However, things heated up once Shannon Beador arrived.

Shannon was a cinnamon stick about to be boiled in hot water for her comment to Jennifer Pedranti about saving Gina Kirschenheiter’s kids from CPS when she was arrested for a DUI. Shannon denied any gossip, and Tamra Judge and Taylor suddenly suffered from memory loss. Heather was also in the hot seat for supposed staged paparazzi photos at DisneyLand with her husband Terry Dubrow. And unfortunately for Heather, those pap picks cannot go on her IMDb.

So, what happened in the aftermath? Here’s what went down in Real Housewives of Orange County Season 17, Episode 13.

The vault is wide open

You can’t have a season of the RHOC without Shannon visiting Dr. Moon for her latest ailment. This time it was stress due to everyone talking about her relationship with John Janssen. However, we all know the source is really John. But Dr. Moon blamed it on gravity which in turn made Shannon’s face fall. Isn’t that called aging? Shannon decided it was time to turn sh*t into gold and partner with Dr. Moon to create an at-home colonic. Those college educations were not going to pay for themselves. 

Meanwhile, Jenn tried to unsuccessfully bake cookies with her mom who was visiting from Texas. She can’t make tacos or cookies. We get it, Jenn can’t cook. Her mom stopped talking to Jenn after she announced the divorce. But now her mom is back in her life and ready to meet Jenn’s boyfriend Ryan Boyajian. Let’s just hope Ryan can keep it together and not show his d*ck pic or talk about Jenn’s chest.

Heather decided that an out of work actor should create their own opportunities. But instead of a small indie film a la Taylor, she went with her own “HD” network on the Fireside app. To celebrate, she threw a black tie party during the day. The whole crew showed up except Shannon. Gina wasted no time dissing Shannon not being there for Heather. But it seemed Heather got her revenge when she opened the vault once again to tell Emily how Shannon talked about her at BravoCon. Does anyone know how to keep the vault locked on this show?

The rich get richer

Not only was Heather celebrating her new status as content creator, she also received the good news that the sale of their home was complete. Terry informed Heather that the $55 million was now in their account. Cha-ching! Heather wanted to tell the group but decided it wasn’t the right moment to share it with all the poors.

Everyone then sat down for a meal of potato chips, caviar, and cucumbers served under a giant cloche. I was surprised Emily didn’t have a turkey sandwich in her purse on standby because that food wasn’t it. Heather tried to convince everyone to be content creators on the platform, but they all wondered how this was any different from what’s already out there. Heather said it was live and Tamra mused so was Insta, TikTok, and OnlyFans. Gina just wanted to meet Mark Cuban.

All the men in their lives were driving them crazy so the ladies decided they need to go on a trip. A drunken Emily wanted shots, so Mexico was chosen as their destination. After that was decided, Emily thought it would be a good time to throw some grenades at Heather. She stated that Heather should put her initials on more things. Emily was surprised they didn’t get branded with an HD on their way into the party. Gina said in her confessional you talk crap after the party like normal people do. But Emily was three sheets to the wind, so normal crap talking decorum was out the window.

It’s hard to say goodbye 

Heather and her non-Housewife friends were not amused at Emily’s antics. As Emily spit out her salad due to “sand,” even Gina and Tamra were embarrassed for her. When Emily got lost in some curtains trying to find the bathroom, Jenn told a horrified Heather that Emily hadn’t eaten all day. Heather said they were too old for that excuse and no one could disagree. Gina asked Emily what was really going on, and she said that Heather’s comment about Shannon bothered her. She wanted to know what Shannon said. But now was not the time or the place to find out. 

After the party, Heather and Terry stopped by their house one last time to say goodbye. They popped open a bottle of champs and drank it straight out of it. How declasse. A montage of all the parties and milestones with Heather’s kids in the home played. Heather teared up and hoped the next family would have happy memories like they did. And just like that, they were off onto their private jet for a 15-minute flight to LA and their next adventure.

The secret is out

Shannon tried to play ball with Archie but he wasn’t in the mood. And neither was Shannon as she told Tamra over FaceTime she still wasn’t feeling well. Tamra filled Shannon in on Heather’s party and noted that Emily got so wasted that even Gina told her to chill. Shannon wasn’t happy that Heather called her to chastise her for texting she couldn’t make the party last minute. It gave Shannon PTSD when the same thing happened at the hoe-down party eight years ago. However, she was still down for their Mexico trip even if Heather would be there.

Tamra then received breaking news that Heather sold her home for $55 million dollars. Shannon was shocked and admittedly jealous. The news spread like wild fire with the cast as they all called each other about the sale and wondered why Heather didn’t tell them. Tamra noted that Heather was on Shannon’s case for not being open about John, but Heather was never open about her personal life. 

The moment finally arrived for Jenn’s mom Kristen to meet the infamous Ryan. And just as Tamra predicted, Ryan showed up in his best multi-print graffiti jacket. Still, his fashion choice didn’t scare Kristen away as much as his bear hug did. Gotta ease in, Ryan! But that’s not his style. Ryan immediately brought up that he was unfaithful to Jenn in the past and was sorry for it. He loved Jenn and her family, and was ready to be engaged. Kristen seemed to accept Ryan for now, but couldn’t stop thinking about how much better Jenn’s ex was instead.

Emily is going for the center orange

Viva la Mexico! The ladies arrived at their luxury resort ready to party. The group split up into three suites with Heather being the odd man out just like in Montana. Heather chose to stay with Emily and Gina, which would backfire on her later. As the group sat down for dinner with more food under cloches, the secret home sale was about to backfire on her too. 

We can always count on Tamra to make the first move. Tamra wondered why Heather kept her home sale a secret. She said it was because of the NDA, and they had to be out in three weeks. In fact, they already moved out. Gina couldn’t believe Heather didn’t tell them at her party. Shannon let it be known that Heather expected her to share but she wasn’t doing that in return. Heather said she did share only to be told her paparazzi pictures were staged.

Emily wondered why that bothered Heather so much. Heather didn’t appreciate the connotation. Nor did she appreciate how Emily behaved at her party. And then the back and forth began about boob cookies and whale trainer suits. Heather told Emily she had a cucumber hanging out of her mouth like a fruit rollup. Emily retorted there was sand in the salad! The whole table was cracking up except Heather and Emily. 

Then the BravoCon bomb came. Emily said Heather told her she was in Shannon’s room and Shannon said terrible things about everybody. But the vault was only half-way open, so Heather didn’t reveal the details. Shannon scoffed to Tamra that Heather was never in her room. Heather denied all charges. Emily saw this as her moment. She called Heather a liar and accused her of being a pretentious, self-centered, jerk. To be continued…

Real Housewives of Orange County continues Wednesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.