OH DORIT! We’re gathered here today, not to mourn, but to celebrate what once was. Dorit Kemsley fell into our laps on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills amid a flurry of strange accents and purchased hair. Dorit and husband PK wowed viewers with their fancy cars and upscale home. Their flashy European lifestyle and famous 30 years ago houseguests gave fans a glimpse into their jetset existence. Friends of legitimately rich Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd, the couple threw lavish parties, had designer wardrobes, and shared lessons in stirring the pot.
Then things got kind of sketchy. A slight hum on the rumor mill about the state of PK’s checkbook turned into a roar once his debt reached the million dollar mark. Gasp! How could this be? Dorit drives a rose-gold Bentley! As fear turned to reality, Dorit and PK did the only thing they could to throw the media off the scent of their negative account balance financial issues. Let’s replace one scandal with an even bigger scandal! Legend has it, this is how #puppygate was born… And now, despite the denials and facade… The hours of deflecting and legal bills increasing… Now we’ve reached the denouement. Friends, it’s with a heavy heart I give you this news. Dorit and PK, once the flashiest new additions to the RHOBH family, did not actually purchase their new house. Let’s bow our heads and chuckle to ourselves offer thoughts and prayers.
