Mauricio Umansky

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: UH-OH Somebody’s Crying!

5 months

There is a curious thing happening on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – The gaslighting of Kyle Richards. Also what is up with Teddi Mellencamp? Did fear of Lisa Rinna get her tongue?

First though I cannot even stop laughing at the ridiculousness of Dorit Kemsley with her Buca di Beppo dining room remodel and Dorit behaving as if she was asked to re-do Buckingham Palace.

It’s the best karma ever delivered to see Dorit and PeeeeKaaaay coming across like the grifting fools they are; all wide-eye and shining, believing Dorit is going to leverage a strip-mall dining room remodel into a career as the new Nick Alain. Of course they mentioned that Lisa Vanderpump would be threatened by them infringing on her territory by entering the restaurant business. Robert Earl, the owner of this erstwhile chain of phony Italian restaurants with their inflated prices and pretend ‘old country’ memorabilia, snarks that he’s sure the Vanderpump-Todds will wish them well.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Denise Richards Would Like To Speak To Kyle’s Manager

5 months

Whew, you guys so much to discuss from last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but unequivocally my favorite thing ever in this whole world is Denise Richards‘ “I’d like to talk to the manager…” face. Denise may be laid back and getting laid on the daily, but we saw what happens when you try to come for her.

If Kyle Richards believes bringing on Brandi Glanville to destroy Denise’s life (which is just SO GROSS on premise) will work, she’s wrong. I’m totally Team Fucking Denise Richards, and I think most viewers are too.

Also Kyle’s hair this season is just straight up karma! She looks like a matronly old bat from the 80’s attempting sex appeal. Whomever talked her into these messy topknots with teased bangs might be my hero. Reveal yourself – you deserve our praise!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: All Out War

5 months

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Teddi Mellencamp hosted an All In retreat which no one wanted to go to at all, so they went all in on Kyle Richards instead.

Despite being invited, told it didn’t matter if she attended, and then ultimately being uninvited there is Sutton Stracke, riding in a car with Kyle and Erika Jayne to Teddi’s retreat.

Sutton, displaying her good southern manners, listens to Kyle prattle on about how busy she is. Being Kyle is an exhausting, nonstop, all-consuming, ever-involved endeavor of Kyle-ness. Like Kaftans Through the kloset karosel, these are the days of Kyle’s life. Sutton is actually only half-paying attention because she’s consumed with her own worries about dealing with Teddi. Even though Sutton apologized and received a reluctant OK to attend the retreat she’s still nervous about what to expect.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Denise Richards & Aaron Phypers Have Zero Regrets About Awkward Dinner Party Conversation; They Have Not Watched The Episode

5 months

Well, it’s safe to say Denise Richards is ~~saving the season~~ hellbent on raising some eyebrows on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. From the gate, we learned Denise has new drama with ex-husband and tiger blood connoisseur, Charlie Sheen. Then poor Denise suffered a rogue intestinal situation with an extensive multiple hernia operation. On the heels of recovering from the procedure, Denise and newish spouse, Aaron Phypers, found themselves on the receiving end of an invite from ~~Bangs~~ Kyle Richards, for a dinner party…

Any fan of RHOBH knows when a group sits down to eat a high-end meal consisting of proteins, salad, and ~~one or two of Mauricio Umansky’s edibles~~ vodka, sparks are sure to fly. On this particular occasion, sparks did fly, which resulted in Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave crying. Because, of course it did. But fans got an extra treat when we received insight on controversial medical breakthroughs, courtesy of Aaron. Now I’m not saying there is a helicopter following Denise and Aaron’s every move right now, but they probably are.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Dorit Kemsley Says Denise Richards Can’t Pick & Choose What She Wants To Share On Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills

5 months

The Denise Richards drama continues to dominate Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It seems like every day, another cast mate is coming out against her. I wonder if that has anything to do with Denise being a stand out fan favorite on her first season of the show. Either way, we are all well aware that Denise is going to be a key figure in this season’s story line. The women all seem fixated on whether or not she had an affair with Brandi Glanville. This is something Denise has denied over and over. Quite frankly, I don’t know why the women care so much. What goes on in Denise’s marriage and private life is her business. But I guess something had to happen this season so here we are.

Another major point of contention is that Denise refuses to talk about her issues on camera. We have seen the infamous trailer, where Denise shouts “Bravo” multiple times in an effort to stop filming. The other women of RHOBH, despite hiding their own skeletons, seem to take major issue with this one. But given how many lawsuits they’ve been hiding on their own, is it really fair?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Big Sister Is Watching

5 months

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards decided to throw a party to celebrate the many months she’s spent away on a movie set, far from her family and friends, even though she was coming home every weekend in between. Anyway this party was a disaster. Aren’t they all!

Everyone is still trying to make a storyline out of Teddi Mellencamp‘s weird All In retreat. Did Teddi invite them, did she not? Does she want them there? Does she not? Does anyone actually care? No of course not!

The problem remains on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills that everyone is always trying to control the storylines and the narrative. Now it’s all about whether or not Teddi actually expects them to attend a 2 day exercise class where she preaches the exalted power of self-sacrifice through starvation. Teddi really isn’t interesting enough to be a cult leader – even in Southern California to emaciated hippies calling it wellness.

The whole situation has Sutton Stracke confused and Lisa Rinna salivating.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Recap: Nobody’s All In

6 months

Everyone on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills is trying waywayway too hard to make things interesting after last season. They are working hard for that money, but they need a salary reduction anyway. They’re still lying and boring!

It’s apparent that production demanded Dorit Kemsley discuss her financial woes. Dorit is still not being honest. It’s also apparent that they put the smackdown on Erika Jayne Snore-ardi and told her to show more range than one of Aaron Phyper‘s weird oxygenic bioderminator ozzzzzcilation machines. Sutton Stracke is so much more interesting! And they hate her for it.

The other problem is the constant strategic alliances. These women are coming for the weakest links: pregnant Teddi Mellencamp and ill, clueless Denise Richards. They probably figured Denise has been through it all dealing with Charlie Sheen so what’s the difference.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Season 10 Premiere Recap: Fashion Weak

6 months

It’s a new dawn on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills! Kyle Richards kaftans became legit, debuting at NY Fashion Week. Erika Jayne is trying a new way to take heat off her life – being friends with the women. Lisa Rinna is still lecturing everyone about owning it, while not owning that she is overjoyed to be No 1 Lisa. Also, we met new cast members Garcelle Beauvais and Sutton Stracke. So far I love them both!

All the ladies are in NYC for Kyle’s fashion show. One day before Kyle hasn’t even seen most of the collection she so-called designed. She calls Dorit Kemsley in a blind panic because she has no idea what do to prepare for a runway show. Like how to present the collection cohesively? How does one figure out who wears what? Dorit is appalled that Kyle has a line that she basically slapped her name on. Um, isn’t that what Dorit just finished Beverly Beach mediation over?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,Recaps

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Mauricio Umansky