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Mauricio Umansky

Jill Zarin

Well this certainly came out of nowhere. Jill Zarin has never been one to keep her opinions to herself. However, she usually sticks to gossip related to her own Housewives franchise.

For some reason, the Real Housewives of New York City OG is now offering some unsolicited marital advice to one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In a new interview, Jill opened up about how reality TV affects relationships and for some reason brought Kyle Richards‘ marriage into the equation.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Lisa Rinna

Sheesh, the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills are a bunch of hypocritical shrews, but Lisa Rinna is quickly emerging as the leader of that pack.

There is something going on here where these women are attempting to gaslight Denise Richards, who won’t allow it. Somehow a conversation where Denise, almost jokingly, revealed to Erika Jayne that her daughter, Sami, overheard them talking about three-ways, has turned these women into a teeming frothing mob shrieking that Denise is mom-shaming and accusing them of being unfit parents. I’m sorry… I missed when that happened? Actually, Denise is right – they are mom-shaming her!

They are repeatedly and constantly bringing up irrelevant things that, in their minds, implicates Denise as a hypocritical slut who set a skanky bad example for her children, but is now projecting her own deep loathing shame onto them. At least that’s what Dr. Lipsa, consumer of self-help books from the 90’s, believes.

Denise Richards & Aaron Phypers

What is it about food and tables that upset the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? The cast seems to be triggered when appetizers or silverware shows up. I’m not even sure actual disputes need to happen, they will just materialize from bitterly pushing barely-eaten food around in a passive-aggressive manner.

Last night was another special party, courtesy of Bangs Kyle Richards. Kyle decided the cure for discontent is one of her Famous Family BBQs. Um, except her family wasn’t there. Most showed up, but the soirée didn’t have a happy ending (see what I did there). Denise Richards and husband Aaron Phypers felt some type of way due to previous gatherings involving backyards and rogue ice sculptures. Instead of praising the benefits of using Jedi mind tricks to heal broken bones, Aaron showed another side of his personality. Now viewers and RHOBH cast members are putting him on blast.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Denise Richards

Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills went to Santa Barbara and all they did was fight. Here a fight, there a fight, everywhere a fight-fight!

Back when Kyle Richards believed anyone cared about the movie she filmed, or more specifically cared about the Saga of Kyle: These are the Kaftans of Our Lives, she invited all the ladies to Santa Barbara. It was really to celebrate the end of her bangs. Literally Kyle went to Santa Barbara and immediately started sweeping back the bangs.

Of course no one cares about Kyle unless they’re making her cry or trying to get her all worked up until Mauricio has to  blow smoke – literally – up her ass. Everyone meets at Kyle’s house to make the long, arduous drive through the steep hills and rocky cliffs to a house perched on the side of a mountain in Santa Barbara where no one can hear them scream. Escape TO witch mountain. Or maybe Kyle can no longer separate horror film from horror reality?

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards Crying

There is a curious thing happening on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills – The gaslighting of Kyle Richards. Also what is up with Teddi Mellencamp? Did fear of Lisa Rinna get her tongue?

First though I cannot even stop laughing at the ridiculousness of Dorit Kemsley with her Buca di Beppo dining room remodel and Dorit behaving as if she was asked to re-do Buckingham Palace.

It’s the best karma ever delivered to see Dorit and PeeeeKaaaay coming across like the grifting fools they are; all wide-eye and shining, believing Dorit is going to leverage a strip-mall dining room remodel into a career as the new Nick Alain. Of course they mentioned that Lisa Vanderpump would be threatened by them infringing on her territory by entering the restaurant business. Robert Earl, the owner of this erstwhile chain of phony Italian restaurants with their inflated prices and pretend ‘old country’ memorabilia, snarks that he’s sure the Vanderpump-Todds will wish them well.

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Denise Richards

Whew, you guys so much to discuss from last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but unequivocally my favorite thing ever in this whole world is Denise Richards “I’d like to talk to the manager…” face. Denise may be laid back and getting laid on the daily, but we saw what happens when you try to come for her.

If Kyle Richards believes bringing on Brandi Glanville to destroy Denise’s life (which is just SO GROSS on premise) will work, she’s wrong. I’m totally Team Fucking Denise Richards, and I think most viewers are too.

Also Kyle’s hair this season is just straight up karma! She looks like a matronly old bat from the 80’s attempting sex appeal. Whomever talked her into these messy topknots with teased bangs might be my hero. Reveal yourself – you deserve our praise!

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Kyle Richards

On last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Teddi Mellencamp hosted an All In retreat which no one wanted to go to at all, so they went all in on Kyle Richards instead.

Despite being invited, told it didn’t matter if she attended, and then ultimately being uninvited there is Sutton Stracke, riding in a car with Kyle and Erika Jayne to Teddi’s retreat.

Sutton, displaying her good southern manners, listens to Kyle prattle on about how busy she is. Being Kyle is an exhausting, nonstop, all-consuming, ever-involved endeavor of Kyle-ness. Like Kaftans Through the kloset karosel, these are the days of Kyle’s life. Sutton is actually only half-paying attention because she’s consumed with her own worries about dealing with Teddi. Even though Sutton apologized and received a reluctant OK to attend the retreat she’s still nervous about what to expect. 

Denise Richards & Aaron Phypers

Well, it’s safe to say Denise Richards is saving the season hellbent on raising some eyebrows on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. From the gate, we learned Denise has new drama with ex-husband and tiger blood connoisseur, Charlie Sheen. Then poor Denise suffered a rogue intestinal situation with an extensive multiple hernia operation. On the heels of recovering from the procedure, Denise and newish spouse, Aaron Phypers, found themselves on the receiving end of an invite from Bangs Kyle Richards, for a dinner party…

Any fan of RHOBH knows when a group sits down to eat a high-end meal consisting of proteins, salad, and one or two of Mauricio Umansky’s edibles vodka, sparks are sure to fly. On this particular occasion, sparks did fly, which resulted in Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave crying. Because, of course it did. But fans got an extra treat when we received insight on controversial medical breakthroughs, courtesy of Aaron. Now I’m not saying there is a helicopter following Denise and Aaron’s every move right now, but they probably are.