The times are certainly changing on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Lisa Vanderpump quit the show and skipped the reunion. The “puppy gate” scandal spelled the death knell of the longtime friendship between Kyle Richards and Lisa. In case you have been living under a rock, here is a quick update. Dorit Kemsley adopted a dog from Vanderpump Dogs, and the dog nipped her husband PK Kemsley and their children. Rather than return the puppy like she was required to in the adoption contract, Dorit re-homed poor Lucy Lucy Apple Juice. Lucy eventually wound up in a kill shelter. Perhaps Dorit should have re-homed PK instead?
When an article about Dorit’s actions hits the tabloids, Lisa was blamed for leaking the story. Kyle went to Villa Rosa to tell Lisa that all the Beverly Hills Housewives believed that Lisa leaked the story and that she is a liar. The terrible argument between Lisa, Kyle, and Lisa’s husband Ken Todd resulted in Kyle being banned from Villa Rosa. “Goodbye Kyle!” Ken bellowed as Kyle was told to leave the premises. She is lucky that Hanky and Panky didn’t try to avenge their owner.
Let’s talk about Dennis McKinley. The fiancé of new mama Porsha Williams has quite a reputation. Since first appearing on Real Housewives of Atlanta, the
Weiner Hot Dog King’s name has been in the mouths of the cast members. Porsha and Dennis recently had a beautiful child and are currently together, despite Porsha’s recent financial issues.
Dennis has multiple tattoos of his ex’s names and confessed to keeping in touch with them. But does that make him
a big cheater cheater pumpkin eater unfaithful? Not necessarily, however, the streets are talking again and wondering if Dennis needs to check his hot dog situation.
You know that thing you don’t want to talk about, so you never mention it? And then in your reluctance to discuss personal issues, you make a huge deal out of something else? If not, just ask Kyle Richards! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has been invited to participate in husband, Mauricio Umansky’s $30 million lawsuit. How cozy!
Mauricio isn’t alone. Fans of the show are well aware some of the other husbands have found themselves entangled in litigation. Right, PK Kemsley? Erika Jayne’s hubby, Tom Girardi is in the middle of protecting his assets against his own $15 million suit. Now, in a hilarious new twist, because the home in Mauricio’s case was featured in an episode of RHOBH, the rest of the ladies could find themselves called into court. If this were Jeopardy, the answer would be, “What is HAHAHAHAHA?”
Leave it to the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills to drag out a fight from two years ago, along with a ghost of Housewives past to celebrate Halloween, and also because well, without Lisa Vanderpump what else do they have to talk about? I mean they have stuff to talk about, they just won’t.
It’s the final morning in Hawaii, the day after Camille Grammer tied the knot a second time, and finally, at long last, we get our first sighting of The Agency apparel. I’ve been waiting all of the Hawaii trip – looking for swim trunks, hats, custom-ordered shot glasses, a bridesmaids gown… and on the last breakfast Mauricio Umansky finally just shows up to brunch wearing an Agency t-shirt.
Ring, ring… Hi Karma, how are you? You need to speak with whom? Oh sure, hang on. Dorit Kemsley, phone call! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills has been a whirlwind of one-sided drama this season. The main focus has been, sigh, Lisa Vanderpump’s battle with her co-stars over a dog adoption gone wrong. Viewers of the show have wondered why all the fuss on an issue that could have been solved by following simple adoption contract guidelines. One reason could be the lawsuits facing Mauricio Umansky, husband of Kyle Richards. Then we have an active suit against Erika Jayne’s husband, Tom Girardi. And we certainly cannot forget Dorit’s husband PK Kemsley. None of these cases have been mentioned on the show thus far. Instead the ladies have banded together to focus on Lisa V. and create a mountain of deflection to spare them any embarrassment.
Avoiding a subject won’t make it go away. Just ask Dorit and PK Kemsley! The couple has seen their fair share of financial troubles. While occasionally bopping around with Boy George, Dorit
o and PeeKay have been dealing with court cases on the down low. But now we have a twist! Looks like ‘ole PK will have to bop himself into the courtroom, and bring his bank statements with him.
Congratulations Camille Grammer – you’ve officially broken free of Kelsey and restarted your life with a new man by getting married on last night’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Gorgeous wedding! Too bad you dragged your way back Kelsey personality along with you for the ride in the clown car to David C. Meyer.
Oh, a lie detector test. Is that what we’re doing now instead of printing out 99 point font textestessss to prove our innocence? I feel like I need to write this portion of the recap in Comic Sans font, because surely this must be some British Humor! Now I’m still team Lisa Vanderpump, but lady – I cannot sit back and allow John Sessa to carry the Pom-Shield and become the defacto Kyle Richards: professional sidekick, stand-in kitchen remodel viewer, and mouthpiece of menace. John Sessa (and his barely buttoned shirt) needs to stick to training puppies to bite PK and leave the Housewives stuff to the big dogs.
Tonight the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills travel to Hawaii to celebrate Camille Grammer‘s marriage. For an episode about Camille’s wedding, Kyle Richards is sure getting a lot of attention. Unfortunately.
Lisa Rinna and Dorit Kemsley are dateless and have only each other to worry about. Which is probably a welcome reprieve! Meanwhile, Kyle is stuck babysitting Mauricio Umansky. Since she doesn’t have any of her daughters to hover over Kyle probably loves this. And basking in the sun and the booze certainly brings out the Maurice in Mauricio!
Last night the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills paid homage to the great legend herself, Erika Jayne, but the true legend they ought to be bowing to is Camille Grammer, returneth to us in her splendorous season 1 form.
Now that Lisa Vanderpump has removed herself from the scene, what is Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave supposed to do but focus all her obsessive energies onto exposing the truth about Camille? Camille, as we know will rise to that occasion, rather flightily and airily, but with needle-prick jabs that hit all the right pressure points. Like acupuncture for your insecurities.