Oh Lord. I am terrified to write this blog post because I know how things go when one speaks of Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Here's my disclaimer: I think Teresa is a whole lot smarter than she lets on, and I think she has the ability to be extremely manipulative when it works for her. But guess what? I think the same thing about Melissa Gorga as well! In fact, all of these women seem hell bent in taking down one another in the press.
Here's the thing, Teresa can't have the keen business sense she possesses and be as ditzy as she appears. She knows fully what her fan base expects her personality to be…but it is the same with each of the ladies. Carolina Manzo is the Mama Bear, and Jacqueline Laurita is the airhead. This isn't their first rodeo! I actually find myself feeling sorry for Teresa. Her marriage seems to be in shambles, and her husband is grossly disrespectful. It's not fun to watch, it's pathetic. Of course, Teresa's fatal flaw is that she never can (and probably never will) actually admit when she is in the wrong. Oh, she'll flippantly say it in the tabloids or in her blog, but it is always followed by a qualification of how things aren't really her fault. Though she claims otherwise, Tre has perfected the art of playing the victim…and people buy it hook, line, and sinker.
That said, do I think Teresa set up Melissa with stripper-gate? No! Teresa says there is no way she could pull off that stunt given that she's a horrible actress. False. She is a wonderful actress, but I have watched enough Bravo to know that it has its own agenda and story line. The network is the ultimate puppet master, and we all know Kim D. would do anything to be one of those puppets. So, let's recap before we get into the meat of this post: I think Teresa is capable of masterminding stripper-gate, but I honestly think she has some sense (twisted as it may be) of family loyalty. Paired with Melissa's obvious desire to replace Teresa in popularity with the viewers, it makes for a perfect storm of drama. So, while Teresa has clean hands in this situation, it doesn't mean she isn't culpable for other things, like selling stories to the tabloids or pretending to think digging at Caroline's kids in her cookbook was an innocent joke. Disclaimer complete!
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Teresa's Bravo blog finally posted, and it's everything you would expect. She is overly grateful to her fans, to the point of insincerity; she is passive aggressive; she plays the victim; and, she is witty as hell! There are some great one-liners! She begins, "You did see my honest reaction to everything and I'm proud of how I handled it. I think I've learned a lot over the past few years — thanks in part to Posche Fashion Shows! — and I kept it together, but rose above it. Again, thank you all for supporting me, for giving me words of encouragement, and for helping me grow over the past four seasons. I'm so thankful I don't have to defend myself and work as hard as the other ladies do to try and convince the viewers of what 'really' happened. You're all smart, you can see for yourself." Is she implying that if we thought she had something to do with the night's events we'd be idiotic morons?
Let's move on to Teresa being both victimized and sharing some passive aggressive advice with her former friends. She continues, "The one thing that does still sadden and confuse me is why my cast members, especially my own family, were back then and still are so ready to believe I would 'set Melissa up.' First of all, I don't play like that. For better or worse, what you see with me is what you get. I don't scheme and plot and try and twist people's minds and opinions about things. I don't bash people on Twitter, have my sisters and mothers and daughters pick fights with people on social media, I'm just not about that. You know who does that sort of thing. They always have and they always will. I yell and fight in person when I'm mad, but thankfully, that's rare. The rest of the time, I parent, I work, I write, I cook… I'm busy, I'm happy, and I enjoy my life! I wish the other ‘Wives would spend half as much time taking care of their kids as they do getting into fights on Twitter. We'd all be so much better off, don't you think? Second, I have nothing to gain from exposing Melissa. She is my parent's only daughter-in-law, she goes by our family name 'Gorga.' Why would I want anything bad out there about a Gorga? She's my only brother's wife, the mother of my godson, and my daughter's godmother. She may not have any family loyalty toward me, but I have it toward her and I always will." I'm so glad she got that last dig in for good measure!
Teresa reminds us again of Melissa's plotting against her with the help of Danielle Staub. It was certainly some underhanded shiz, but if Teresa has truly forgiven Melissa, she wouldn't feel the need to bring it up at every. single. turn. It's just her way to remain the underdog. She explains, "What I don't understand is how Caroline and Jacqueline, who had their own family buttons pushed by Danielle, buttons that ended up in legal cases and drama with their children(!), think it's no big deal that Melissa was working with Danielle this whole time. I didn't get it, but OK… But then to pretend to be so disgusted and upset with a possible/fake/not really 'set-up'? What? How screwed up are their priorities exactly?"
I have to admit, the next portion of Teresa's blog had me laughing out loud. It's an honest Teresa and a hilarious Teresa. It's reminiscent of first season Teresa who didn't assume everyone was incredibly jealous of her. She admits, "I'm not gonna lie, I don't really see what the big deal is here. Someone Melissa used to work with said "hi" to her at a fashion show and then left. I don't know what his intentions were, if he thought it was funny, but seriously, big f—ing deal. She used to work at a bar, he worked there too, maybe she danced, maybe she wore a tank top, maybe she only stopped by to empty the trash on her way home from church. Who knows, but again, big deal. The Angelo guy didn't say anything bad to her, wasn't mean or violent, didn't have secret pictures to leak to the press, wasn't involved in a legal case with her… the whole thing was a big fat nothing. The entire scandal is that maybe Melissa danced? I'm sorry, but after all the hype, it doesn't even look like a set-up to me, more like a let-down. I have to say it again: big f—ing deal. Who cares if Melissa danced? As long as she doesn't plan on opening a car wash and recruiting my girls to work there, I don't care." Bwahahahaha! At least she's owning the car wash joke. Fabulous! Or should I say Fabellini?!?!
Unfortunately for Teresa, she did get the blame for the whole thing, which I do think is pretty bogus. She writes, "[C]onveniently the other Housewives, the ones with the matching blogs every week, came to the same exact conclusion right away: Teresa set Melissa up! What, what, and what? And again: what? It doesn't make sense for me to do, they had absolutely no proof, the guy himself denied I had anything to do with it, but the truth doesn't matter to them. They went on Twitter to talk about how they think I set Melissa up, they went to the press, and still, a year later, they're singing the same sad song. This is actually one instance when I'm so glad the cameras were there for the whole thing, because you see what I see. But the worst part is my brother, who wasn't there, doesn't see it. He believed their crazy story right away, still believes it I guess, and we haven't spoken for a year. In the end, who got what they wanted? Not me…"
Teresa concludes with more snarky remarks, but perhaps they are warranted given the circumstances. She states, "I know the other women think I'm so dumb (and yet a manipulating mastermind at the same time?), but I do get why they all have to blame me for everything. Because my name on their lips is the only way they ever get attention. "Can you give us a horrible quote about Teresa?" "Yes, but only if you mention my "Happy Ending" desserts/"advice" book/new song/makeup/restaurant/yummy water too!" If that's the price they are willing to pay to take a bite out of the big ol' pie or whatever Richie calls it, then have at it. I'm just going to keep moving forward, and moving up." Whoa, I'm glad to see that fame hasn't gone to her head!
Teresa may have no choice but to move on to bigger and better things, as a source tells the Huffington Post that Bravo is looking for new ladies to cast. The insider claims, “They are looking all the time for new cast members for all the franchises, but, nothing gets serious until after the reunion show has been taped and the season comes to an end. Now they are deciding what to do with next season, with the biggest problem being Teresa Giudice.”
In fact two of her cast mates tell the site, “No one wants to tape with Teresa anymore. She has done so many things to each member of the cast that at this point it is everyone versus Teresa. I know they are looking at several friends of hers to join the show so she has someone to film with. At the moment, no one has been invited back, but we are all pretty sure Teresa will have two new friends.”
Hmmm…new friends for Teresa? Wherever could we find some of those. Any ideas, Kim D? Kim's been on a Twitter rampage since the episode aired, and if the following tweets are any indication, Kim is Team Teresa all the way!
Good gracious. I am so thankful my friends and I don't have this kind of drama in our relationships. However, if Bravo ever wanted to come film us for the franchise, I'm sure we could come up with something. Call me, Andy Cohen!
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF TERESA'S BLOG AND THE CASTING NEWS? IS KIM D. JUST TRYING TO PROLONG HER FIFTEEN MINUTES?
[Photo Credit: Twitter]