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Amber and Jim Marchese were Andy’s guests tonight on Watch What Happens LiveThe Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were candid about their first season on the show and Jim made us cringe three or four times.  Just another day with the Jersey crew….

Andy starts the show telling Jim he’s brave for coming.  Andy received thousands of tweets asking him to tell Jim that he’s a douchebag. Jim laughs, “I’m completely shocked, I have to be honest.”

Andy says “you and I discussed this at the reunion a little bit, I said that you’re a disaster on Twitter. You’re very combative on Twitter. ”  Jim laughs “is this a question?”  Andy urges, “Do you think you’re too combative on Twitter or are you responding to what people say to you?”  Jim thinks it’s his duty,  “I would say I’m responding to what people are saying to me. I take it as a compliment.  Anyone who is going to take time to send out so much hate and disgust, that to me is like another form of love. It’s a little bit twisted, a little confused, a little frustrated, probably some impotency issues going on with these people, but nonetheless it’s love, so..”  Amber adds, “I think he relishes it.” 

Andy brings up that in Florida Amber compared Jim to Adolph Hitler. “Jim, how did you feel about that comparison?”  He shared, “I wasn’t real happy about it because he lost the war and I don’t usually lose.  In all seriousness, Amber and I have a lot of fun, we tease each other a lot and we have a lot of pet names and that’s not the worst one she’s called me. “

Andy asks if that fight in Florida was the biggest one they’d had – they both say no way.  Amber says Jim takes a lot from her – she goes at him hard.  Jim says “we’re both Sicilian and from New Jersey. That was mild.” 

They play a montage of all of the stupid shit Jim has said all season.  And then a montage of the co-stars sharing their real feelings on Jim behind his back.  Andy gives Jim 30 seconds to respond to them and he takes full advantage of it in a way only he can.  “A. Only someone with an ass as big as Dina’s could know how big of a douche bag a whale would need to clean its vagina. B. Joe (Gorga), I already called you a bitch so to repeat it, I know you only got to the third grade and you only got to “B” in the alphabet, go on to C, D & E.”

A fan asks why Amber is always crying.  “They did pick up a lot of crying.  It was an emotional time, my five year mark and I was just feeling a lot of emotions from that.”

Another fan wants to know if Amber regrets her makeup choices this season, specifically the white eyeliner.  “My makeup artist is wonderful. I just think that white eyeliner didn’t transcend well on HDTV. ”  I admit that Amber’s makeup was looking good tonight on the show.

Another viewer asks their opinion on Joe and Teresa’s sentencing.  Jim, “That’s a tough one.  Joe and Teresa are good parents. I don’t know enough about their case to really say anything, so.. As long as they feel it’s fair, it’s fair to me.”

Next a caller asks why Jim came on the show if he couldn’t be around Teresa & Joe due to the legal issues.  Jim says that at the time there were no legal issues pending.  He claims that they hadn’t been charged yet when they signed on for the show. Andy doesn’t buy it. He says the Giudices were already charged when Amber and Jim were cast for the show. Jim says it was just the three months in between when they were charged and when they plead guilty that were an issue for him. 

Another fan asks why Amber always brings up “The Cancer”, says it makes her look childish and like an attention whore.  “I say ‘go through it’ and then we’ll see how much you can or cannot say about that.  I earned the right to talk about it.  I walked the walk and f*** you.”

A fan asks what I’ve been wondering for months: how does Jim have a job and yet is able to Tweet all day long?  “It’s actually pretty easy because Tweeting only takes about 13 seconds per Tweet.”

Does he feel justified in the way he speaks to women? “I don’t think I talk down to women. We live in a society where men and women are equal.  When a woman engages me in a specific manner and uses specific language, she’s behaving similar to how you or I or another gentleman would behave. If you’re gonna call a man a dick, a vagina, you’re no longer a lady to me. You’re one of the guys and if you behave like a guy, I’m gonna give you the respect and treat you just like you treated me. At the end of the day, you can’t say you’re my equal and then you’re a dick and be like “oh I’m gonna hide”.  So actually I’m the nonsexist in the group because I treat everybody equally.”

Another caller asks Amber how her first reunion show experience was.  “I went in thinking it was going to be very very difficult, I did a couple extra classes of Krav Maga.  A couple extra sets in the gym, but honestly I felt that it was more of a purging and i was able to get it all out and able to come to an understanding with a lot of the girls.  I walked away with a lot of respect for the women that I did my first season with.”

Another question from a fan wanting to know what Jim thinks about the people who say he has Napoleon syndrome.  “Napoleon was approximately 5’7″, so it’s kind of fitting because I’m almost 5’7″ with my shoes and hair. Being compared to one of the greatest Emperors in history is not that bad, so I’m okay. It could be worse, I could be compared to a whale’s vagina or something.”

Why Jim can’t move past his fight with Bobby and just get on with things.  “He’s actually never apologized to Amber for what occurred and I think that’s the biggest rub with me. Regardless of what transpired between us, the way to my heart is through my wife. It’s really simple.  He knew something was going to happen.  Regardless of what he knew, he knew something was going to happen.  He owed it to her to give us a heads up and after it went down he should’ve apologized.”  Jim says if Bobby would apologize, all would be forgiven. 

Andy asks if Jim embarrasses Amber.  “I said this to you at the reunion, I think every husband embarrasses their wife at least at one point or another.  But no, I respect him, I love him, and cherish him for who he is and would never want him to change not one damn thing about him. “

A new caller says that Jim and Amber have been beaten down so much, do they regret doing the show at all? Amber says “not even a little bit. No way.”  Jim says “no.  the opportunity to do the photoshoot and the gallery scene was worth the whole season.”  Amber says she learned a lot about herself and how she interacts with others. 

Andy asks what she has learned about her husband “Don’t mess with him. He protects me no matter what. He really is a knight in shining armor. “

How would Jim feel if his kids acted toward other people the way he has?  “We have a really simple rule in my house. We believe in being mirrors. If someone is kind, you be kind to them, if someone asks for your help you assist them.  And if someone is cruel, teach them what cruel is.  That’s exactly how I believe they should conduct themselves in society.”  Andy’s face as he said that last part was absolutely priceless – I’ll hunt around for a screenshot. 

 

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