Farrah Abraham makes her triumphant return to Teen Mom tonight, and I, for one, couldn’t be happier. She’s not the most sane person ever, but her special brand of delusional crazy entertains me while her Teen Mom OG co-stars, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell, and Amber Portwood, bore me to tears.
So, bring on the crazy, which was on full display in a recent podcast with Shane Dawson. When Shane pointed out that Farrah seems oblivious to her cult following, Farrah said, “I don’t think I’m big into cults. That is why.” Even Shane, a self-proclaimed super fan, couldn’t help but bust out laughing at Farrah.
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Shane admitted that he hates “all those Teen Mom girls” with the exception of the “one who punched her husband’s head into the wall.” Farrah assumed he was talking about Amber. (Could be Teen Mom 2‘s Kail Lowry too!) When someone called Amber “the big one,” Farrah said, “Oh, she’s much littler. You know what? It’s me, Amber, and then everybody else is bigger than us now.”
About that fact that Teen Mom OG shunned Farrah until production began and the producers realized the other three are duller than dirt, Farrah shared, “Well, like, the executives who had to call and say, ‘We’re so sorry for letting you go. How funny is this? We had to ask you to come back.’ Well then they had to kind of show that they made the wrong choice at first.” Check out the clip below to see how that went down.
Shane asked, “How does that feel?” Farrah said, “I rejoice every day.”
When asked if she played hard to get at all, Farrah said, “No, because they already, like, seriously apologized because they know with me I don’t take bullsh-t when it’s at a serious level. Because when they initially called, before anyone knew I wasn’t back, they initially called and said, ‘Hey, we’re going to be moving forward without you.’ And they wanted, like, some dramatic cry-ass reaction from me, and I’m not that type of a person. ‘I’m pretty much, like, been through so much sh-t. I wish you all the best and I’m gonna still throw a premiere party and still enjoy it.’ Which I did! When Teen Mom OG came out, I still had a party at my house, and, like, I was fine. And I think life’s great.”
Farrah said she’s “OK” around her co-stars, who have been very vocal about her, um, career choices and return to the show, because it’s just part of show business. “Sh-t, I don’t even deal with it,” continued Farrah. “I just have lived amongst it and they can all eat my sh-t.”
About attending the MTV Movie Awards with Catelynn and Amber, she said, “I thought I looked amazing. I shine so I don’t care. Honestly, though, I think with everyone who is successful and who does work hard, I think that speaks for itself. So I could be around a bunch of all the things I’ve been around and I still do what I want.”
Shane surmised that Amber, Maci, and Catelynn are afraid of Farrah. “I think maybe that’s what it is,” agreed Farrah. “I think you say it better for me because I don’t even take the time to understand it anymore. Just because I love how people can act like they can make money and provide for their families when really I’ve made the way for them. And I think that’s why.”
HAHAHA! Newsflash Farrah… everyone says things better than you! HAHAHA!
About the updated look of Teen Mom, Farrah said, “So, they kind of merged, like, The Housewives show with the Teen Mom show because we’re getting older. And I guess some of the Teen Moms are trying to be housewives, but it doesn’t really work out because their husbands aren’t successful, you know?” Shane pointed out that none of her co-stars are married, to which Farrah said, “You know what? Good f–king point! I give them too much credit. They are not even married.” Farrah’s comparison to Real Housewives makes no sense since the Teen Moms don’t film together. But, Farrah.
About Catelynn and Tyler‘s second baby and Maci‘s pregnancy, Farrah said, “The did keep it. Not an adoption this time. Well you now what? We were coming back, and well, what are we going to come to if no one’s getting pregnant again? And then you have Maci, who is pregnant right now. She’s been pregnant this whole season and still pregnant right now. The pregnancies — I don’t even know if they’re real babies because no one’s popping out babies! They’re just continually pregnant!”
Farrah went on to say that she’s set to appear on two reality shows in the future: one is on E!, which is most likely Botched because of that lip implant fiasco, and one is “the biggest” show in the UK. Shane assumed Celebrity Big Brother and tried to get Farrah to spill the beans. That went like this:
Shane: I have a big brother named Jared. He is my favorite big brother. I watch him every summer.
Farrah: Is he on – he’s Subway! Subway, eat fresh. No, Froco’s not like Subway.
Shane: Well, if you were to drop your boyfriend and get with my brother Jared then technically you would be on my big brother.
Farrah: I’m not getting on your big brother.
Shane: You’re not?
Farrah: I have a boyfriend. I don’t know what twisted incestual sh-t this is…
Shane: Nevermind… I was trying to guess… Big Brother UK. That’s my favorite show of all time.
When Farrah said her show is bigger and Shane insisted Big Brother is the biggest, she teased, “Maybe it’s something new that you just haven’t heard of that’s bigger.”
Teen Mom airs tonight at 10 PM EST on MTV. Reality Tea will be live tweeting all the drama. Join us.
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