I couldnât have asked for a better way to kick off this hump day than listening to Brandi Glanvilleâs latest podcast, appropriately titled, Pimps, Prostitutes, and Ron Jeremy! Oh My!
But before we crack open that nut⌠so many puns, so little time⌠I have to say that I find it hilarious that Brandi just lectured bloggers about the fact that her 12-year-old son is âdabblingâ in social media, and all the negative stories about Brandiâs relationship issues with Eddie Cibrian and LeAnn Rimes are just one search away from his innocent eyes. But, you know, an hour long discussion about prostitution, penises, and said 12 year oldâs dadâs cheating ways is okay.
Brandiâs latest guests were Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch and star of HBOâs Cathouse, his girlfriend/bunny Krissy Summers, and his friend/porn star Ron Jeremy. Dennis was there to promote his book, The Art of Pimp, and I have to admit that it sounds like an interesting read. It would have been really nice to hear more about the book, but Brandi canât keep her mouth shut. Ever.
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Dennis dished on his strategies to keep the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in the news, to garner free and legal publicity, and mentioned the Hookers for Hillary website he started. He explained, despite the fact that the ranch is a legal brothel, the average bunny earns six figures, and the top earners make over half a million a year, they arenât respected as professionals. They werenât even allowed to buy health insurance until the Affordable Healthcare Act went into effect. And the working girls credit the health care reform in the 90s, which made the Affordable Healthcare Act possible, back to Bill and Hillary Clinton.
âI was just in Amsterdam,â said Brandi. âI mean, sex sells. Itâs everywhere, and the crime there is very low. Same with marijuana. You can get marijuana and get laid on the same block. And itâs fine. But here weâre making a big deal out of everything. I think itâs when you hold somebody back from something and say you canât have this is when we commit crimes in order to get it.â
Dennis shared that the Bunny Ranch gets one thousand applicants a month, from college girls to moms to college professors, and the bunnies are taught âsalesmanshipâ and âup-sellingâ and they ultimately set their own prices. The local girls go home every night, the rest live at the ranch. Dennis compared the ranch to a resort and said itâs all you can eat, all you can drink, and all the hot girls you could ever want.
âI feel like a lot of people, including myself, we love the chase. We love the challenge. If itâs readily available, then I donât really want it,â argued Brandi. âI want to have to work for it. If youâre there, you can drink all you want and you can fâk all you want. I meanâŚâ
Krissy said that most of the men who visit the ranch have wives, who they love, and the unmarried men arenât looking to settle down with a working girl. The men come to the ranch, get what they need, and go about their lives, home to their wives, etc.
âI would rather have my husband go to a prostitute, do what he has to do, and have no emotional relationship,â said Brandi. âItâs purely physical. I donât want to know about it. Emotional relationships hurt more than a physical one night stand. I think not knowing would be great. I donât want to know.â  Â
Dennis asked Brandi if she would ever consider a visit to the Bunny Ranch with her boyfriend. âI was married before and my husband cheated on me and it was emotional relationship⌠shipS⌠plural,â shared Brandi. âWe definitely brought girls in and I did everything I could do. It wasnât about me at the end of the day. I think threesomes are great when they happen organically, like, youâre not planning it and it just happens to happen. But, when you plan it, itâs just very awkward.â
Brandi said, âMen are animals. They are animalistic. They think like animals. Itâs just sex to them, err, as long as it is just sex.â
About her celebrity status (apparently she is interviewing herself now) Brandi shared, âIt changes peopleâs perception and outlook and thereâs a little bit more excitement to it. I mean, itâs odd to me. I drive carpool, I wipe my kidsâ asses, I donât get it. Then Iâm out in public and people will come up to me. This is just so bizarre, but people do treat you differently when they know youâre on TV.â
Brandi said she believes thereâd be less divorce if prostitution were legal.
âI call it the cereal theory,â explained Brandi. âYour favorite cereal is Cheerios. You have Cheerios every day and you love Cheerios and theyâre always going to be your favorite. But it might be interesting, one day, to try something else. It doesnât make Cheerios is not your favorite. It means you were in the mood for something else.â
âMarriage itself is an old-fashioned idea,â said Brandi. âA lot of my gay friends are so happy they can get married and Iâm like, âBe careful what you wish for.â Itâs like having a birdcage with an open door.â She added that she wants to be in a relationship but doesnât plan to ever get married again. Brandi doesnât want a piece of paper to force her to stay in the birdcage with an open door. Or something. Are Dennis, Krissy, and Ron even still with us?
Brandi, who seems to be under the impression that she is qualified to dish out relationship advice, advised, âI think itâs important for women to switch it up and do something for their man thatâs different. If youâre in your gym clothes every day all day long and you donât put make up on and youâre not trying and youâre only having sex on your back in the bedroom, heâs gonna look elsewhere. I always say, do it in the car, or do it out in public. Surprise him. If the majority of women just got their head around it, like they are so prim and proper, I think thereâd be a lot less cheating.â
Dennis asked his guest Brandi if she and her Real Housewives of Beverly Hills co-stars talk about sex. âYolanda [Foster] and I talk about it,â she said. âThey do well. Davidâs freaky for sure. They do fine.â
âI canât picture anyone else on the show having sex. I donât even want to picture it. I try to bring it up and they all act like theyâre shocked,â whined Brandi. âLike, âOMG, we donât do that!â I bring it up to shock them, to talk about something interesting, and they are all like, âSheâs so crass.'â
You can listen to the âunfilteredâ version of this interview on PodcastOne. Itâs raunchy. Consider yourself warned.
TELL US â ANY INTEREST IN RELATIONSHIP/SEX ADVICE FROM BRANDI? DO YOU BELIEVE YOLANDA TOLD HER DAVID IS FREAKY?
Photo Credit: Brian To/WENN.com