There were many unanswered questions when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills concluded Season 9. Literally though, the women refused to address almost anything remotely personal; i.e. lawsuits, plastic surgery, and finances.
The only that that was very clear is that Camille Grammer is on the outs with the RHOBH ladies. Sure, she got a long hug from latex-clad Lisa Rinna. But, other than that, bridesmaid Kyle Richards sided with Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave against Camille, which didn’t surprise Camille, since she declared that Teddi is “up Kyle’s ass.” Camille and Denise Richards’ had strong tension that came out of nowhere. And then there’s Erika Jayne, who doesn’t seem to care about
anything Camille at all. Camille was really marching into the lions den when she showed up to film, but it turns out she was already very much excluded before the reunion taping.
OH DORIT! We’re gathered here today, not to mourn, but to celebrate what once was. Dorit Kemsley fell into our laps on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills amid a flurry of strange accents and purchased hair. Dorit and husband PK wowed viewers with their fancy cars and upscale home. Their flashy European lifestyle and famous
30 years ago houseguests gave fans a glimpse into their jetset existence. Friends of legitimately rich Lisa Vanderpump and Ken Todd, the couple threw lavish parties, had designer wardrobes, and shared lessons in stirring the pot.
Then things got kind of sketchy. A slight hum on the rumor mill about the state of PK’s checkbook turned into a roar once his debt reached the million dollar mark. Gasp! How could this be? Dorit drives a rose-gold Bentley! As fear turned to reality, Dorit and PK did the only thing they could to throw the media off the scent of their
negative account balance financial issues. Let’s replace one scandal with an even bigger scandal! Legend has it, this is how #puppygate was born… And now, despite the denials and facade… The hours of deflecting and legal bills increasing… Now we’ve reached the denouement. Friends, it’s with a heavy heart I give you this news. Dorit and PK, once the flashiest new additions to the RHOBH family, did not actually purchase their new house. Let’s bow our heads and chuckle to ourselves offer thoughts and prayers.
Hopefully, things can only go up for Gina Kirschenheiter. After beginning 2019 with multiple driving offenses and a DUI, the Real Housewives of Orange County star needs a break. When the initial phase of moving violations slowed down, Gina found herself possibly reconciling with her estranged husband Matt. Unfortunately,that lasted about 5 minutes. Thanks to alcohol and hurt feelings, Matt engaged Gina in a violent outburst which got him a nice pair of handcuffs.
As a result of the arrest, Matt lost his job. He also officially lost his wife. The former couple then found themselves battling for custody of their three children. So we can all agree at this point that things are pretty bad for Gina. Humiliating DUI, check. Public divorce with cheating allegations, check. Having to associate with Vicki Gunvalson, check. Well friends, it has gotten worse. Gina’s trials and tribulations have caught the attention of ex Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills cast member, Brandi Glanville. Here comes last straw. The rock bottom. Ladies and gentlemen, Brandi is now comparing herself to Gina…
Lisa Vanderpump managed to be one of the few members of the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
who lives in Beverly Hills not involved with a lawsuit. After a season of feeling bullied and blamed, Lisa isn’t dealing with the show at all anymore. As much as Lisa’s fanbase will miss her, the departure was probably for the best. To secure your spot, you have to maintain an image. Lisa is not a D-list celeb, there just wasn’t a lot of purpose for her to continue RHOBH.
Lisa will still film Vanderpump Rules and continue running her fleet of restaurants. Her new Vanderpump Cocktail Garden in Las Vegas is getting a lot of attention. Of course we’ll return to Tom Tom once Pump Rules begins it’s new season. Then we vested favorites, Villa Blanca and SUR. You remember the old saying about her two establishments, “Villa Blanca is where you take your wife, and SUR is where you take your mistress.” Now, according to recently learned reports, you might take your mistress to SUR, but take some Pepto with you.
Erika Jayne is an enigma… wrapped in spandex and 50 inches of hair. But isn’t that why we love the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills blonde? Since viewers met Erika, we learned this is a women intent on making a statement. No matter what the occasion, Erika is definitely not getting her face done at the Clinique counter in Dillard’s.
Fans are very familiar with Erika’s Glam Squad. The
paid friends of Erika’s who live under her stairs create spectacular looks and are responsible for the image she maintains. The Squad travels with Erika in coach to such exotic locales as Dubai, Germany, and CVS. But don’t get it twisted, Erika’s collective of magicians don’t come cheap. It takes a village to maintain a dazzling facade and Tom Girardi Erika is willing to pay. Whether it’s a short wig or a ponytail higher than Mauricio Umansky in Hawaii Tom’s debt, Erika relies on her gaggle of men to set the tone. While some might balk at the extensive cost of not wearing Wet N Wild, Erika schools us on the necessity of being vain looking good.
Well, friends, it is that time again. It is time to start speculating over who will be staying, leaving, or joining the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast. “OG” Housewife Lisa Vanderpump ditched the Season 9 reunion, and quit the show, in the aftermath of “puppy gate.” I think it is fair to say that after last season, most viewers would like to see a cast shake-up.
Lisa Rinna was one of the stars who celebrated the fact that RHOBH would be down one Vanderpump. Rinna joined the show in Season 5 along with her bestie, fellow soap actress Eileen Davidson. Rinna has never been afraid to showcase her life for the cameras. Viewers learned that Rinna’s husband, Harry Hamlin, enjoys disappearing into the wilderness alone for fun. Rinna and Harry’s daughter, Amelia Gray, discussed her battle with anorexia on the show. That was truly an emotional moment.
When Real Housewives of Beverly Hills viewers first “met” Yolanda Hadid, she was actually Yolanda Foster, the wife of music producer David Foster. He is now married to Katharine McPhee, who I would love to join RHOBH, by the way. We can get some more Baby Face piano singalongs.
Anyway, Yolanda has a new man and she actually broke the news about his identity herself.
Good news, everyone! We can finally rest easy, but it’s been a long haul. It’s difficult to determine the seconds of sleep we have lost during Dorit and PK Kemsley’s financial misadventures. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
potential inmate star has also been searching for her dignity a new home. Much to Dorit’s dismay, the news of her husband’s debts made mainstream headlines. But hey, this woman deserves a round of applause for the really super interesting storyline RHOBH forced on us last season. The dog at the center of Dorit’s failed adoption scandal has relocated and changed her name. Her new humans are prohibited from using the words “puppygate” and “kill shelter” in her presence.
Without the benefit of #puppygate as a shield, viewers are anxious to see what the ladies bring us next year. Most of the cast are facing court cases, as a result of their husband’s business dealings. Things seemed particularly bleak for Dorit and PK. They are the subject of multiple financial lawsuits and attempts to collect on a debt. Dorit’s bank account is colder than Erika Jayne’s attitude and she and PK have been required to reveal their assets. None of this has stopped the couple from living large. PK and Dorit have been jetting around Europe all summer and unabashedly flaunting their “wealth” on social media. Now they have made another huge purchase. As Boy George cowers in the corner somewhere, wondering if he’s ever going to get paid, the Kemsleys finally signed piece of paper without a court date attached to it.