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It’s only week two of The Real Housewives of Dallas and it seems like everyone has something going on. The new girls, Kameron Westcott and D’Andra Simmons fit in seamlessly. Old friends are sorting out the past, while others are showing up dressed in full costume to light a fire. Things have already reached a boiling point and it’s only episode two!

Before it all kicks off, Mark Deuber complains about how his maid doesn’t fold the socks properly [insert eye roll emoji]. The CEO of the Westcott House, Kameron Westcott brags about having the most sought after Spanish teacher in Dallas, Romina, to prep her kids for their upcoming Cabo trip.

Flash to Stephanie Hollman who’s meeting her Life Coach, who yes, you guessed it, she met at a charity event… They started sessions right after she began having issues with Brandi Redmond. We learn that Stephanie lives in Las Colinas, Texas, not Dallas proper. Her two sons go to two different private schools in Dallas which equates to about a two hour commute. She and Travis Hollman are looking at new homes and she’s hoping to be a part of the decision. That’s certainly not too much to ask.  When the Life Coach mentions Brandi’s name, Stephanie melts down. She admits to feeling rejected and thrown away. Both were asked to judge a dog costume contest where they’ll be forced to interact.

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Across town, Brandi and Cary Deuber meet for lunch. Brandi seems to just be smiling through the pain. She saw on social media that Cary now considers Stephanie her “ride or die”. In a screenshot, Brandi commented, “Wish she was my ride or die”. Ouch. Cary changes the subject to the BIGGEST fashion event in Dallas, the Culturemap Stylemaker of the Year. Mark is one of six finalists of course. Apparently, the finalists have to dress mannequins and it’s all very stressful (?). Brandi shifts the conversation back to her falling out with Steph. She admits her jealousy watching Cary and Stephanie bond. Cary says she wants Brandi to feel she’s there for her too – thus cementing herself in the middle of Feud: Brandi and Stephanie.

Brandi asks Cary if she really said LeeAnne Locken was up to her old “carnival tricks”. How it went from “LeeAnne’s old ways” to “carnival tricks”, who knows? – we’re just glad to be reminded LeeAnne was a former carney. Cary denies it and views the text on Brandi’s phone. Umm, how come they didn’t show this text on air? Cary assumes Stephanie figured LeeAnne was talking trash and put Cary’s name in the middle of it. Cue the waterworks. Cary is upset for having the target put on her. Brandi isn’t surprised, citing this as being a reason for the divorce falling out.

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With Dee Simmons (The Real Queen of Dallas) out of town, her daughter D’Andra Simmons is running the company and going to meet with a Cosmetic Designer at the lab. We finally learn more about what made Dee all that money. Ultimate Living is a nutrition product and skincare line that has been very successful for over 20 years. Jackie, the Cosmetic Designer was so excited Dee was on vacation  to tell D’Andra about an idea for an elixir that uses snow algae. D’Andra is ready to give the green light, but her mother hasn’t approved of a new product in years. Any storyline involving Dee is automatically intriguing.

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Over in Turtle Creek, TX, Stephanie and Travis are going to look at a house. It’s billed as “one of the coolest houses”, according to Travis; complete with one of the “coolest” Real Estate Agents. Kelly, the Realtor answers the door in leather boots with fur, lace pantyhose and a biker jacket. As if the outfit wasn’t distracting enough, the small pool in the living room floor would be. This home really has its own specific look (much like Kelly). It’s not at all kid friendly and features hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth of wallpaper. In case you’re not convinced yet that it’s for the “rich and famous”, there’s a fancy toilet that sprays, flushes and pleasures. The home is up for auction and Travis is blinded by the deal. Stephanie isn’t feeling it, carefully telling him they’ll need to add a toy room and an entire guest house. In the most polite way, she begs him to consult with her before doing anything. He won’t.

Mark is dressing mannequins at a place called “Tootsies”, the location for the BIGGEST fashion event in Dallas, The Culturemap Stylemaker Awards”. D’Andra and Stephanie come to show their support. Even Kameron couldn’t be bothered with this one. Cary reminds us that her husband is European and very Swiss, and that’s where his eye for fashion comes from. He showcased two mannequins, Cary jumped in with a few bad jokes that probably cost him, because unfortunately, he didn’t win.

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Kamerons pink world is a show within the show. This week, she helps her adorable kids pack for Cabo. She’s very proud of herself for tricking them into packing stuffed animals. We learn she got a Chanel bag for swimming with sharks in the Maldives. (Who is this woman!?) She’s genuinely upset she’s missing the upcoming Howl-o-ween Dog Costume Contest. Her husband Court can’t roll his eyes any further into the back of his head when she admits to wanting to go to see if there was a calling for pink dog food. Kameron isn’t stupid; her parents are business partners at a dog treat plant. Go for it, Kameron!

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Back at Tootsies, Cary tells Stephanie she had lunch with Brandi and saw Stephanie’s text. Cary’s confused by all the mixed signals, yet she’s constantly talking about it with whoever will listen. In her interview, Stephanie says she sent the text to protect Brandi from what she heard LeeAnne say to Cary. Still wondering why Stephanie sent the text? Cut to: Cary telling Stephanie in a flashback that she met with LeeAnne and all they talked about was the frenemies. Cary said, “I hope she’s not puppeteering”, but that she would give LeeAnne the benefit of the doubt. Well well well. I wonder why Stephanie said Carey insinuated LeeAnne was back to her old ways?

Stephanie admits that she felt Cary told her of the exchange initially as a heads up that LeeAnne was pitting her and Brandi against one another – prompting the text. Cary says she has anxiety about it all and that it’s not her fight. Cary, please stop talking. With all this talk of LeeAnne, where is she in this episode?

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The Queen of Dallas has returned and her first stop is D’Andra’s house. Dee enters, walking around large plants, African masks and a HUGE zebra skin hung on a glass staircase. Very worldly. Dee rushes her daughter. She has no time. D’Andra nervously takes her reading glasses on and off to avoid eye contact as she explains how outdated the product labels and company website appear. We’re treated to an old clip of the two selling products on Christian T.V. D’Andra recommends a total rebrand to bring the company into the new age, Dee literally twitches at the mere suggestion, looking away in disgust. D’Andra continues, promoting the creation of new products, cosmetics, marketing and social media. Dee basically says a flat “NO” to it all, instead slamming her daughter for not knowing the financial end of the business.

We learn that in 2004 D’Andra was offered a position at the Department of Energy as the Deputy Assistant Secretary, but her mother pressured her to come to work for the company. Dee presented it as her only opportunity to own a company. Back at the high pressure meeting of mother and daughter, Dee lowers her voice and tilts her head, manicured finger pointed, telling her basically that she’s not going to have a clue how to run a business once she takes the training wheels off and stops working with charities. (It always comes back to the charities.) Dee remains thoroughly unimpressed that she taught herself the charity world and refuses to have a marketing budget. End. Of. Discussion.

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Clearly irritated, D’Andra says she doesn’t have the time to talk anymore, telling her mother, “You know how busy I am”. They get up but Dee isn’t done. Without missing a beat, she stops her dead in her tracks, telling D’Andra they’ll pick up the conversation the next time she does have the time. BURN. #DontCrossDee

As expected, Travis won the home he and Stephanie walked through at auction.  Asking price was $8.9 million, purchased for $5.1 million. It’s a good deal until you realize we’re talking millions. Stephanie isn’t happy with Travis, and who can blame her? Not to abandon all poop talk, she admits to feeling constipated.

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There are only ten minutes left to this episode and we’re just NOW seeing Dallas’s MVP, Ms. LeeAnne Locken. She’s prepping for the Mutt’s Annual Howl-o-ween Costume Contest, no doubt the BIGGEST event in the Dallas dog scene. LeeAnne is putting a hot dog costume on her adorable beagle Carly, while steaming her own hot dog costume. T.V. Gold. Out of nowhere, music from the Real Housewives of Atlanta starts to play and we see Stephanie and her son dressing their dog Biscuit as R2D2. Random.

LeeAnne, Brandi, Cary and D’Andra all arrive at the costume contest. Poor Brandi looks like she’s just given up as she admits to having a horrible week. The ladies fill in D’Andra on the text message that just won’t die. LeeAnne calls it as she see’s it, saying Stephanie was trying to reach out to Brandi by throwing LeeAnne under the bus. The Hotdog LeeAnne keeps ranting as Stephanie enters. The ladies all come face to face, including Brandi and Stephanie. Before two words are uttered the costume contest is announced and the two former BFF’s are called to judge.

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Back at the table, “Miss. I Don’t Want To Be In The Middle” (Cary), who vowed to stay out of it, suggests a full sit down with all the girls. I don’t think they realized it was going to happen right then and there. LeeAnne wastes no time to throw out the topic of that text message. Cary says she’s bored and tired of the whole thing. LeeAnne goes in, telling Stephanie to take the smirk off her face – the gloves and the dick are off as she removes her costume. Stephanie says LeeAnne is scary and manipulative, LeeAnne snaps back, “Look in the mirror bitch”.

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LeeAnne tells Stephanie that all the talk behind the scenes needs to stop. (Interesting. This highlights more rumors that Stephanie liked to talk to the press.) Steph claims the text was to protect Brandi from LeeAnne in fear that she’ll do something nasty. LeeAnne bites back saying she hasn’t done anything against her new friend, unlike Stephanie. The back and forth continues when LeeAnne asks Stephanie what she meant by her “old ways” comment, Steph says she’s sorry, but LeeAnne isn’t buying it. Ms. Locken is ready to go toe to toe with Stephanie. Look out! Things turn back to tears as Stephanie opens up about it being the hardest four months and Brandi admits she had to step away. Both agree they need to talk.

Next Week: Cary is not interested in working anymore and would prefer to be home with her daughter. It looks like things come to a head with Brandi and Stephanie. LeeAnne is anxious for the upcoming Halloween party and pulls a stunt that might get her thrown out!

TELL US – THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK’S EPISODE? WOULD YOU FREAK IF YOUR SPOUSE BOUGHT A MANSION WITHOUT CONSULTING YOU?

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Photo Credit: Bravo TV

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