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I just can't figure out what's going on with Real Housewives of Miami. It's like in a desperate bid to be as good as all the other shows, they scrambled to switch everything up – giving me no sense of security here.

On top of that, I think I'm Weddings by Bravo'd out. I mean on top of Tamra Barney and NeNe Leakes' big spinoffs we're now inundated with Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa planning weddings and bickering about weddings and out-weddings each other and weddings, weddings, weddings… Maybe we can just pull a Sister Wives, lump all the Bravo brides together, and throw them with one man. I nominate Andy Cohen to be tied to these broads for life. Payback's a bitch!

So last night Joanna and Romain Zago had the big talk. You know, the prenup one. In a pseudo intimate moment in which Joanna's minimalist makeup was applied to perfection, they had breakfast in bed and argued, over freshly cut fruit, that Romain was going into wedding planning by planning his divorce. Um… he's agreeing to marry JOANNA. 

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Bravo Events - 2013

It seems Melissa Gorga changes her stories faster than she changes her lipgloss. I mean, one minute Jan is her BFF and they were in each other's weddings and the cheating allegation is the ultimate betrayal. And in the next minute, like in her recent blog, they were only friends for like a hot second 300 years ago. 

So that means one of two things: Melissa didn't have any real-real friends to stack her bridal party with or she's lying about the nature of her relationship with Jan! Whatever the case, like all things Real Housewives of New Jersey, it doesn't add up! 

According to our source Melissa is intent on continuing the "victim act" at all costs. "She just wants to blame Teresa for everything," our source tells us exclusively. "Melissa really needs a story line." What – you mean writing a marriage bible and staging a J. Faux pop star career isn't enough?! <gasp>

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rhoc-reunion-2-recap

Oh the tears of a Real Housewife. As legit as beachfront property in Arizona. Last night on the second installment of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion it was Gretchen Rossi's turn to crumple face without tears. 

I dunno what you call that sort of cry where no liquid emanates? I mean is it all the botox? At the very least I would expect wine to come out 'cause all they consume is wine. Well, that and bulls#*!. 

So much happened last night – where to begin… 

Well, let's all get this out of the way: Alexis Bellino talked about JIM BLOB's man part. It was the most awkward 2 minutes of television ever! She tripped and stumbled over a forced non sequitur about how he wears a size 14 shoe if you know what she's saying… EW! So that's how things started and if you can believe it they went downhill from there! 

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joanna_krupa-adriana_de_moura

If there's one thing that's certain about Real Housewives of Miami it's that Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa do not like each other. Nope! 

Last week the two former enemies tepidly agreed to be civil, but clearly the peace won't last. With dueling weddings on the horizon the two attention whores ladies are about to out bridezilla each other. Oh goody! 

Adriana, whose wedding was accused of being a big ol' Bravo-manufactured publicity stunt, is slamming Joanna's wedding as tacky and over the top. 

“I think I had the most heartfelt, true to the feelings, family oriented, religious ceremony,” Adriana insists Hollywood Life. “I think she had a new, rich type of wedding… where everything is over the top."

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vicki-tamra-rhoc-reunion-8

Well, when it was good it was super good, and when it was bad… well when it was bad it was the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion!

Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi were friends for literally less time than it takes to blow dry a set of blonde extensions and all of the sudden they're back to fighting about the same. old. ridiculous. things. Namely who's lying about what and whether or not Gretchen cheated on her first fiance. Do we care? Nope we don't but Bravo thinks we do… 

In her Bravo blog, Tamra calls out Gretchen for refusing to let go of the past despite the fact that she hauled five-year-old photographs to the reunion! 

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teresa-housewarming-gold-chair

So you mean to tell us there's more footage of Teresa Giudice dropping thousands of dollars in cash on over-the-top bling?! Apparently! 

According to sources prosecutors have confidentially asked Bravo and Sirens Media to hand over hours of unedited and unaired Real Housewives of New Jersey footage chronicling the Giudice's behavior, which may be used as evidence in their upcoming fraud trial

“For every hour that airs, there are more than 20 hours of unedited footage,” a source reveals to NY Magazine.“They shoot for three months and end up using only the footage that fits into the story line they want to focus on.”

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kim-zolciak

Oh. My. Sweet. Lord… Kim Zolciak is having TWINS!

"I'm having twins and I couldn't be more excited. I was completely shocked. I had no idea," she gushed to E! News. "It was a natural conception but twins do run in the family so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised."

"I can't believe I am going to be a mom to six children, it's going to be very busy but it's a dream come true." Good thing Kim can afford nannies. And let's hope Kroy Biermann gets a raise!

Apparently twins means double the cravings! "Can we talk about the fact all I want to eat is chocolate!!!! I have always had a sweet tooth but geez!! Not 20 times a day!!!", the Don't Be Tardy star, who is currently filming, tweeted.

Kim's youngest son Kash turned one this weekend. 

[Photo Credit: Twitter]

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Tamra Barney Eddie Judge RHOC Orange County Housewives Yellow Dress

It's probably a good thing Eddie Judge decided to open a gym and get out of the "legal business". I mean, that's saying he was ever in the legal business legally to begin with. Before hooking his wagon wheel to Tamra Barney, Eddie was the manager of his father's law firm. Unfortunately he's being sued along with his father's law firm!

A source reached out to us to let us know that Eddie's behavior at his adoptive father's law firm was serious cause for concern. 

Yeppers, old Ed-wino of the infamous Real Housewives of Orange County bathtub porn scene is being taken to court! An attorney who was formerly employed by the Judge Law Firm filed a suit against the firm for Wrongful Termination and Unfair Competition. According to the lawsuit, filed in California Superior Court, the attorney claims she was wrongfully terminated when she complained about unethical practices in the firm – namely that Eddie was practicing law without a license! 

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