A few beautiful wedding dresses can make anything better! Even a limo full of badly behaving Real Housewives of Orange County. Yep, I like even Tamra Barney better when she's all stuffed into a stunning white gown. Maybe because I can imagine the fabric drowning out her voice.
So last night was another infamous Tamra Starts Getting Married episode. After she decided to be the the bigger girl and invite Alexis Bellino to her ultimate special dress shopping extravaganza for trip down the aisle numero tres, friction between Gretchen Rossi who like totally thought she was the numero uno in importance, arose. Tamra no likey.
Tamra meets finace Eddie for dinner at their gym which is still basically an abandoned warehouse at this point and Tamra is wearing some sort of animal hide cape. Seriously – what was that thing Cruella DeVille? I thought Tamra only killed and skinned other housewives. Silence of the Implants!
I know I'm supposed to have pity for reality TV stars for the stressful lives they live – and the chaos of having their every moment captured on camera. All the flaws, and bad behavior, and embarrassing moments, and fights, and crappy relationships, and friendships gone awry. Yeah, I should probably feel bad for them. But I don't! I'm callous that way.
Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice!
"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."
In the latest, the former Teen Mom star who has risen in the ranks of tabloid fame thanks to a certain sex tape, has announced that she is checking into an outpatient rehab for alcohol abuse. Farrah, who is the "epitome of perfection," recently pled guilty to a DUI and is now hoping to "focus on her sobriety."
Farrah will spend 10 days of intensive counseling at The Lukens Institute in Palm Beach Gardens, Fl. Farrah sees seeking treatment at the luxury facility as a "preemptive step" to help her better manage her alcohol use. As part of the $12,000 outpatient care, Farrah will be able to go about her daily life but will be monitored by a sober companion. Farrah's dad will be caring for Sophia while she is getting help.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey some tepid family bonds were forged while others remained more fractured than a crackle manicure. Oh deja Jersey – coming back to haunt us like bad ju-ju!
Things begin with the aftermath of Joe Gorga's gym baptism by fire. Poison is driving home talking to himself, mumbling "bitch" and other little rude names. The voices in his head really shouldn't be so hard on him. He's only a man, after all. A flawed one, but still only a man with a penchant for weight lifting, Tarzan-ing, and embarrassing himself.
He stomps into the house where a perfectly made up Melissa Gorga is relaxing on her bed begging daughter Antonia to "write" her book for her. Melissa tells Antonia about including stories about her own dad in the book. Melissa is running the including her dad thing by everyone as if she really cares about anyone's opinion. Girl is going to include all her dad's dirrry secrets because it sells books and there is no point to writing a book if it isn't to sell it!
Melissa says she doesn't want her daughter to see the type of family life she had and right on cue here comes Poison grunting and talking himself down from jumping off the faux-marble roof as he barges in to let Melissa know that Teresa Giudice was ranting about fake Chanel on Twitter or something.
Despite what anyone wants to say about Teresa Giudice, the infamous bankrupt villainess of questionable intelligence has managed to convince producers to entirely craft the storylines of Real Housewives of New Jersey around her. Genius or lucky?
In tonight's installment of Teresa's Revenge, she will go head-to-head with cousin Rosie Pierri, who was last seen in a drunken stupor instructing Teresa to participate in some lurid sexual practices. Hey – hate sex works for some people!
Anyhoodle, Rosie and Teresa will sit down tonight and try to iron out all the conflict that has erupted since their parents stopped speaking and Wallpaper Wakile joined the show as Melissa Gorga's sidekick.
Please sayVicki Gunvalson has recovered from the effects of her facial skin being pulled too tight and is finally thinking rationally again. Because it's looking like the Real Housewives of Orange County star has finally shed her deadbeat!
Brooks Ayers hopped on twitter last night to complain about Vicki breaking his heart.