Last night I had written the perfect recap in my mind, but then I fell asleep. When is read-a-brain scan technology coming out? Anyway, y’all will now have to be stuck with my sloppy seconds morning after recap of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. I hope it will suffice.
Lisa Rinna is celebrating a fabulous 50+ birthday. She peruses her closet, with the assistance of her daughters, to pick out the perfect out for her birthday dinner at PUMP. I love a BH closet – if we could spend the entire show in various closets – they could eat dinner in there, drink wine, argue – and we’d just be distracted by looking at all the glorious clothes.
Having glorious scenes at restaurants will also suffice. Lisa Vanderpump throws Lipsa’s birthday dinner at PUMP. LVP has Ken decked out in the family approved color of Vanderpinkie – they need a family crest of sparkly Pomeranian dyed bright pink. Lipsa is amazed by how gorgeous everything looks. Kyle Richards and Mauricio attend. Kyle waxes hairetic about how laughing with LVP is the part of their friendship she loves. Subtext: what she misses is partaking in free wine and food, while hob-nobbing with A-litsters.
Our condolences go out to Todd Tucker and Kandi Burruss, who just lost Todd’s mother Sharon to a stroke. Todd’s mother passed away suddenly this afternoon after suffering a stroke yesterday and being rushed to a nearby hospital.
Todd was in Atlanta when he got the phone call that his mother had fallen. Upon her discovery was rushed to the hospital.
However Teresa isn’t the only person suffering – Real Housewives Of New Jersey is reportedly in peril and has no idea if they should continue the show or delay until Teresa is released. Teresa is expected to serve about 13 months of her 15 month sentence pending good behavior, which would put her release date in January 2016.
Teresa recently told Andy Cohen she won’t return to RHONJ, and seemed to be hinting for a post-prison spinoff to coincide with the tell-all she plans to write behind bars. Reports already state that Bravo has been filming Teresa as she prepares for prison and they plan to continue filming Joe Giudice and the girls while Teresa is “away.”
Real Housewives Of New York is desperate to revamp and sources say Bravo is going the distance to hire big name socialites that live the quintessential New York lifestyle, like socialite Dorinda Medley who has been filming with the cast!
Dorinda, a close friend of Ramona Singer‘s, has been filming with the ladies since October when she was first spotted attending the Amaranth Restaurant 15th Anniversary Party with Ramona and Heather Thomson. Since then she’s been spotted with the ladies and a Bravo film crew several times.
On Vanderpump Rules last night Jax Taylor decided that, for once, he was gonna work the rumor-mill to his favor, and play a game of telephone with the story of Katie Maloney “motorboating the crotch region of a gentleman.” Yes, I just typed that. And yes, that is a direct quote. And yes, we will be using that phrase many more times through this recap. You’ve been warned!
Jax is recovering from his nose job, and as he deals with the debilitating pain of a deviated septum he realizes there’s been just one person who hasn’t reached out, who hasn’t checked in on his recovery: Katie. He broods over muddled ginger at the SUR bar, and every time he feels the bandage tape creating friction across his oily pores, his anger increases just a little bit: it goes from beer, to wine, to whiskey, finally distilling into pure moonshine. And then he snaps: how dare she! How dare Katie not only ignore him in his time of need, but how dare she choose Stassi Schroeder‘s side over his. And even worse, how dare she attempt to keep Tom 2 away from him, dammit! Besides, Tom 2 wants to be away from Katie – not Jax.
“A lot of things are going to come out that people are going to very shocked about. I’m really tired of being called a liar and a cheater,” Jax reveals. “I don’t mind being called the villain, because everything I do on the show is me, but there are other villains on the show who I start to call out. It’s going to get really dirty.”
Porsha Williams was living the highlife of a kept woman and posting the proof on instagram – until her mysterious sugar daddy got tired of her not being able to keep her mouth shut and dumped her for indiscretion! Oops!
Sources say the Real Housewives Of Atlanta star has been gifted a bevy of pricy gifts from a mysterious man – rumored to be a Nigerian oil billionaire – one of those gifts was as $300,000 Rolls Royce. But without her sugar daddy helping with the bills, Porsha is reassessing her finances.