Don't you love a good twist? Like a super dishy one? Well last night on Vanderpump Rules we got one!
Let's just cut to the chase – Jax Taylor admitted to banging Kristen Doute, not once – but twice! Oooooohhhhweeeee boy. And one of those bangs happened whileTom 1 (as in Kristen's boyfriend – the she's been freaking out over his cheating all season) was In. The. Next. Room. Say it with me now: escándalo! ES-SCAND-DAL-O!
Of course, one Stassi Schroeder, whose middle name is vendetta and whose first name is legally insane, is furious. She decides it's time to destroy Kristen's life as revenge. Isn't having the whole world know you banged Jax enough?! Apparently not! First order of business: gifting Kristen with a dildo dipped in acid to destroy her insides. Is this woman working for the Taliban yet?! North Korean dictators? I think I found her calling!
But what of Jax, you ask? What terrible fate befalls him? Well, for his honesty he is accepted into the group; folded in like a big ol' piece of cheese wrapped between two buttery warm pieces of bread. Finally – FINALLY – Jax has realized honesty really is the best policy. He gets all the attention he craves and a gold star for truth telling. Are you rolling your eyes? I so am! Apparently Jax is a dirty dog and he can't help his wandering peen, but Kristen she's supposed to be one of Stassi's revolving best friends.
Things begin at Carlton's house, which looks like it sits in an abandoned lot outside the airport. There's no landscaping which sucks if you're inviting a zillion people to a daytime pool party in JULY. I know why Carlton's skin looks like a dehydrated orange peel!
The whole theme of this party is "Americana" except… all the decorations came from Hustler and Carlton wore a sequined bikini from a 1992 Victoria's Secret catalog. And there were no shade tents – we Americans really like covered pavilions. Carlton ships her kids away to their grandmother's and warns them she may embarrass them, which is the understatement of Carlton's appearance on this show. Everything she does is embarrassing!
"One thing that reality television does give you is a thicker skin," Lisa shares. "I remember the first time something was written about me and it wasn’t true, I was so indignant and I burst into tears. I remember sitting in my restaurant thinking, ‘how could they?’ Now I’m like, ‘oh, whatever!’”
“It’s just all sensationalism, and then you read about it on Twitter and you just have to ignore it or make a statement, but for the most part it’s nonsense," Lisa tells Parade about tabloid drama and the back and forth on twitter.
Did I mention that last night during the episode NeNe claimed she was boycotting live-tweeting because of violence. "I won't b tweeting during this episode because I CAN'T & WONT support violence or lies!" Um… OK. I guess someone hasn't been reviewing her OWN history on RHOA. #Hypocrite
Well, NeNe had no problem addressing the episode after it aired! Here are her thoughts:
"I created this game called 'Pillow Talk' it all started from Gregg & I basically discussing our day once we got in bed at nite! Obviously this party is for adults only with adult topics and content," NeNe begins. "I was the hostess with the mostess!" Hostess with the mostess cocaine! ALLEGEDLY!
To be a rat or not to be a rat – the drama over Renee Graziano's behavior rolls on.
Reacting to this week's episode of Mob Wives, Renee is all obsequious, but she's also pointing fingers at the reason she's been acting out. “I feel really bad about it,” she told VH1.
Renee is also feeling bad about how she is being portrayed – sounds like something she should take up with her sister (and producer) Jennifer Graziano. Renee feels with so many of the original ladies leaving she has no idea how to act! "There’s no Karen, no Ramona, no Carla, so someone had to be the big bad wolf and it looks like that’s what they made me this year and that’s very disturbing to me because I’m not,” Renee insists.
Kail Lowry is taking a lot of heat for trying to take her son Isaac away from his father Jo Rivera.
The Teen Mom 2 star, who is now married to Javi Marroquin and has another son Lincoln, wants to move two hours away to Delaware where Javi is stationed. Jo is contesting this claiming he will be too far away from Isaac.
"It's super annoying that everyone thinks I'm taking Isaac away from his father. If you know me, you know I would NEVER do that. My mom did that to me," Kail complained on twitter. I'm imagining her making a pouty face as she writes this.
A few months ago Ramona reportedly caught Mario cheating with a much-younger socialite. Rumor has it that Mario even impregnated his fling and paid for her abortion. Ramona was apparently in denial about the whole thing, and kept her head buried in her wine glass – but not anymore!
Page Six reports that the Real Housewives of New York stars are officially separated – and it's getting nasty. According to sources the couple has moved on and are both dating others, but haven't filed for divorce yet and that's where things are getting complicated.
Mario has been spending his single time with 20-something Kasey Dexter (his rumored adultery partner), while Ramona was recently spotted on a date with a “20-something” Travis Millard on Thursday. Ugh… Travis, you can do better!
Phaedra Parks and Dwight are hosting their annual 'What the hell is going on but Phaedra certainly never does anything half-assed' celebration. This year it's a naming ceremony for Mr. President.
Dwight really needs to update both his Benz and his facelift – and he also needs to return that blazer to Dorothy Zbornak. Phaedra envisions an "Inaugural Ball" theme for her future leader of the free world. Let's give it up for the first president whose dad is in the slammer. Too soon?
They prance through the grounds discussing their plans for secret service, swing dancers, and miniature tuxedos. And possibly a waterfall-side mother-of-the-president skinny dip twerk. Thankfully that was nixed. These two have such good ideas: are they going to plan a pre-prison inauguration for Apollo before he heads into the Big House?