Tonight is the FINAL, final episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. After a season of constant turmoil I need a vacation, some PTS therapy, and a long hiatus from family drama not my own.
Tonight's episode will explore the final meltdown of a family who has been destroyed by reality TV. Tonight the husbands take the stage and the Joews will battle to expose each other as the sleaziest, grossest, and worst husband! Lord only knows how that will turn out but my money is on Juicy Giudice getting dirty.
Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, a very careful distinction was made. And that distinction was the differences between a regular, old, run of the mill famewhore, and an uber, professional celeb-stalking, paparazzi courting, namedropping famewhore. And guess who announced themselves a member of the latter category?Karent Sierra, dentist to the stars by day, photobombing pseudo-celeb by night!
Only Bravo could find these people and give them a platform for which to promote their ridiculous endeavors? As Adriana de Moura pointed out – "Doesn't she have teeth to drill?"
But before all that drama, Romain Zago is putting his foot down with Marta Krupa. It would appear that Marta, who has no reliable job to speak of, is seeming like a freeloader to Romain, who wonders just why she doesn't help out around the house? Romain spells it out – you're taking advantage of Joanna Krupa.
Marta's all like, 'Yeah, but I like mopped the floor that one time! I help! I put a new toilet paper roll on the holder. And ummm… I, like, put the clothes away that I borrow from Joanna!' Romain chastises her for not even grocery shopping – which makes sense considering she doesn't have a job so how exactly would she buy food? Anyway, Marta, who's a serious actress, announces she's moving in with Fembot Fakenstein. Romain is like don't let the door hit you – and take out the trash on your way out!
Filming for the new season will begin on Monday with the premiere airing March 13th. Surprisingly missing from the cast – Housewives! NeNe Leakes previously revealed that she had no interest in returning and despite several cast members from her season joining the new season, Teresa Giudice was not on the list (although she still works with the Trump family to raise money for Nephcure).
Most surprisingly is that Omarosa Manigault is returning to reality TV – and I'm already afraid.
But that's for all of you tireless crusaders who constantly harangue me with your belief that I'm secretly the president of the Teresa fan club and are immune to any sort of reason or logic called reading that may clear up that misconception.
Anyway, back to the daily vomit of Jersey. So, Teresa's marriage is all about the business of the media these days ever since Joe Giudice's cheating became a storyline. The National Enquirer (which is surprisingly not so unbelievable) reports that Juicy's latest mistress has been discovered. I know – I couldn't believe he was cheating with Caroline Manzo either!
The Situation has found himself in many, many situations involving pussy. One could say he lives in a world of pussy galore. But his newest ad for the animal rights group, PETA has him surrounded by a whole nother type of pussy – and there's no smoosh room in sight!
The Jersey Shore star has decided to use his fame for activism, which is a lot more productive than most of his extracurricular activities. In the new ad, Mike gives some advice he's very familar with. "Too much pussy can be a bad thing," the ad reads, serving as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets.
“It was important for me to partner with PETA to raise awareness about the homeless animal crisis because so many dogs and cats must be euthanized each year because there aren’t enough good homes for them all,” Mike shares of his decision to particpate in the ad.
According to Glamour Magazine, designer and model Lilly Ghalichi will be joining the cast! And she is quite the impressive package. Lily describes herself as “a Persian Barbie on the outside, but…with intelligence and drive on the inside.” She's a licesened attorney that left the 9-5 world to become a swimsuit designer behind the line Have Faith Swimgerie and lifestyle blogger with a tell-all twist. She's also known for her glamour girl style!
Reality TV is known for its sensational fashion – and I don't mean sensational in a good way! I mean like, 'dressing in the dark, I bought this on clearance at Forever 21, and oops my boobs fell out' fashions.
Below are some of my least favorite red carpet fashion moments. You have been warned – these are searing, unflattering, and really, really gobsmackingly ugly.
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