Oh good lord with this show. I really think the cast of Vanderpump Rules should just bottle their tears and sell them as a cocktail at SUR. I mean someone is always crying! In every scene: sob, sob, sob, sob… If Diamond Water can become a thing, Teary Vodka can.
So last night Jax Taylor proved that he is just as self-absorbed as Stassi Schroeder (what did we expect from a male model!) when he dumped rebound girlfriend Laura-Leigh of the Minnie Mouse helium voice and meth addiction after her AA meeting. Yep, that happened – although he told her they could keep having sex.
And in the same episode Stassi showed why she has no friends and is always getting shizzed upon by boyfriends; because she treats people like CRAP! And we all know you treat people how you expect to be treated. Stassi, Princess of Low Self-Esteem. She wears transparent well, doesn't she?
Hey, it's the same old Melissa Gorga story, different day? Is anyone else complete annoyed with this already? Well it's either ridiculous fake or it's totally true, but here's the latest Real Housewives of New Jersey story concerning Melissa and the allegedly fake life she lives.
Apparently Melissa has decided to shed her drama reputation and instead steal a cue from S1 Teresa Giudice and Caroline Manzo as the queen of family values on the upcoming season.
"Melissa feels that one of the main reasons Teresa became a quick fan favorite was because her relationship with the husband and kids was used as a featured storyline,” a source tells RadarOnline.
So where do we begin with this mess of a show that is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? It was just a blur of white noise. Splits Richards decided there hadn't been enough drama as of late so she decided to host her annual White Party. I mean screw P Diddy and Cannes, this is THE event of the season. Bust out your white swim suit cover-ups, get ready to twirl your hair round your head like a helicopter (one of these days Kyle is going to take off!), and then go threaten to sue your friends! Open bar on the left.
In other happenings,Kim Richards got a nose job. I mean, what else has she got to do? Kim's nose job – not big news in the real BH, I imagine, but in the RHOBH it's cause for celebration. And why not? Kim has never entertained anyone not even us on this show so perhaps it's time for her to do some party hosting. Isn't that what these broads do with their spare time when they're not hiring lawyers because their girlfriends talk shit about them?
So anyway, Kim's having a re-done nose party (I hope she got a ton of cards that said: 'Congratulations on your re-done nose!'). She has this sweet little coffee bar set up and she's rocking a Mrs. Roper mumu as she swans around the pool. It was all very seventies. I've noticed a lot of what Splits and Kim do is circa seventies (hello… THE White Party, y'all!).
Speaking of Splits, she shows up towing along two adorable little girls and one orangey blob in a scarecrow wig. Yeah, Faye Resnick was there, but by the blessed gods of Bravo she barely spoke and stayed mainly off camera. Perhaps they wanted to keep the party focused on decent plastic surgery.
Oh sweet Jesus is there really more back and forth between Brandi Glanville and Adrienne Maloof? Yes – of course! While that mess is still ongoing it seems Brandi is willing to put one acrimonious feud behind her!
And one person who is totally in agreement with that idea is friend (and support system) Yolanda Foster! “I made Brandi promise me this week that once her book tour is over she will never say her name again,” Yolanda shared with Perez Hilton. “At some point you need to move on. There’s children involved, so hopefully she can keep her word.”
Yolanda, you and me both. If I ever have to hear LeAnn Rimes' name again, I may turn to drinking and tweeting!
Caroline was seen meeting with one Dr. Dov Rand learning about treatments for her foul mood. Hopefully she didn't listen too carefully to his advice, because Starcasm reports the good doctor is headed to jail for the next five months and was just fined $30,000!
Dr. Rand pleaded guilty in federal court for accepting kickbacks in exchange for patient referrals to Orange Community MRI. Dr. Rand, along with 12 other NJ doctors, were arrested last December and charged with taking money in exchange for recommending Medicare and Medicaid patients for tests they may not necessarily need.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta the ladies ventured into unseen territory. It was truly a trip to OZ. There were sparkling pageant lights and shimmering runways, food that looked like vaginas and not food, beautiful music, and one Wicked Witch from the West stealing The Good Witch's crown and being sweet as a mid-summer Georgia peach. What was this strange world of successes and peace? Better watch out ladies, a twirl is a'comin and it might just drop a mansion right on your heads. And your little dogs too…
Things begin at The Bailey Agency. Cynthia Bailey is whirling around putting up flyers about the Miss Renaissance pageant. It's happening like now! And who should waltz through the door but a giant bottle of ketchup and mustard! Oh no, just Kenya Moore being sweet and kind and wearing a strange combination of red and yellow (or my TV is colorblind). I guess it was summery…
Kenya has her little dog with her and also a little model who has big dreams of Vogue covers and barely covers her butt crack in skintight zebra pants and a crop top. Kenya is mentoring this poor girl. I'm guessing she got the come-to-Jesus lecture about coochie cracks, which is why she wore that…
TMZ reports that Adrienne has had several talks with the producers about her desire to leave the show. Season 4 is slated to begin filming in April, and although none of the cast members have signed their official contracts yet, it's a given that Lisa Vanderpump and Brandi Glanville will return.