The Giudices are back in court again today because yesterday they were indicted for fraud! How's that for a hot date away from the kids!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars are being accused of 39-counts of various financial based fraud including wire fraud, loan fraud, federal tax evasion, mortgage fraud, bankruptcy fraud… you get the gist of it!
Apparently facing time in the slammer doesn't make Joe Giudice feel too good. As the couple waded through a sea of photographers eagerly awaiting to hear their response to the fraud allegations, he started throwing punches!
NorthJersey.com reports that they were more than an hour and a half early to court. Teresa Giudice wore white. Ha! That's like a shotgun wedding honey, the jig is up and you're no innocent. In the sea of photographers Joe lashed out and "swung" at one of them "hitting a photographer's camera". "Calm down, Joe," his lawyer, Miles Feinstein, was overheard warning. "Don't do that."
Joe and Teresa then walked in to the courthouse linking arms around 8:20 am.
The federal government alleges that the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars intentionally withheld and falsified financial information in order to obtain mortgages they could not afford then they failed to honestly report earned income to the IRS. Then upon filing bankruptcy they lied about income, assets, and potential income. All in all they are in biiiiig trouble, little Jersey!
It's interesting that despite Teresa being a stay-at-home wife and mother during that time she signed and submitted loan applications claiming she had income and a job.
Another interesting fact: Teresa and Joe have SEPARATE attorneys in the matter. Which is uncommon considering they are a married couple who filed Chapter 7 together and Joe was presumably the sole breadwinner during the timeframe.
Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.
That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.
The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing…
The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were officially charged this afternoon with a 39-count indictment of "allegedly conspiring to defraud lenders and illegally obtain mortgages, federal authorities said this afternoon," reports North Jersey.com. In addition they are accused of hiding assets and income during their bankruptcy case.
Teresa, who according to witnesses, displayed a subdued attitude, continued to stand by her husband who is accused of the bulk of the issues. “Today is a most difficult day for our family," Teresa told the judge. "I support Joe and, as a wonderful husband and father, I know he wants only the best for our lovely daughters and me."
Is Courtney Stodden trying to upset Farrah Abraham? The child bride (now an adult) has been offered "big money" to film a solo sex tape, according to her mother-of-the-year, Krista Keller.
Apparently an online adult-film site erroneously believes a lot of people want to see Courtney and her new set of boulder boobs rock out to 'I Touch Myself…' (OK, I made the song part up…) and offered her an extremely lucrative deal to shoot two "solo scenes" that would be edited together for a "360 degree" video. Oh gross, I feel ill now.
The CEO of Panoporn Max Gambler believes Courtney could garner $3.5 – $5 million in profit if she agrees to a backend deal and a guarantee of $100,000 – $200,000 up front.
So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.
While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzonow in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow.
So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!
After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave.