Aloha Browns! Last night’s Sister Wives marked the conclusion of the Browns Hawaiian vacation. If the older children keep finding themselves in serious relationships, there will be enough wedding story lines to keep this show afloat for many more seasons to come! The crew is headed to a local coffee house for breakfast, but Christine has taken to calling it a bistro since the LDS Church frowns upon coffee. Kody is frustrated with the driving and parking. He’s having a difficult time hanging loose, and Caleb seems to be getting a healthy dose of his future father-in-law.
Over breakfast, Kody lectures his family about how he’s the boss, but his kids are rolling their eyes and hoping he’ll chill so they can enjoy breakfast. After their meal, the Browns head to the beach, and Kody sets up the umbrellas in the hot sand. Christine notes that he’s making their area in sad too hot to play on, so Meri plays the messenger and gets Kody to move them. Of course, he’s peeved that his idea was once again thwarted. Hopefully once everyone is allowed to finally have some fun, he’ll relax.
It’s time to join the Shahs of Sunset for some drama outside of the Sunset Strip – that’s right, it’s cast trip time! But before we take this mess international, let’s see how we got a passport to all this nonsense.
After Asa Soltan Rahmati’s kaftan show that the crew was forced to attend (and only a few ended up watching), the gang heads over to Shervin Roohparvar’s house to drink from red solo cups. Well, almost everyone – Mike Shouhed and estranged wife Jessica Parido are absent after their big blow out at the show. Everyone is talking about what happened and Reza Farahan goes on an incredibly long-winded, misogynistic list of all the horrible names he can think of for women that are involved in the whole Mike and Jessica mess and it doesn’t take long to see where this is going – he’s trying to justify this cast trip to Belize as a way to “help” Mike and Jessica.
Last night Real Housewives Of Dallas had their first (and I dunno – something in me is saying ‘only’ reunion) – and it was pretty bizarre.
The major story was Cary Deuber, who all season seemed rational, together, and way too smart for all the drama, but wound up having a straight nervous breakdown on stage over the rumors LeeAnne Locken spread about her marriage beginning with an affair. LeeAnne may not do “hurt,” but Cary does and she openly sobbed a ton.
Also randomly, throughout the entire reunion LeeAnne would morph into ‘My Carny Story’ mode and just start fake tearing up about her haunted past and all the other BS she routinely uses to try and get away with her crap. Andy was rolling his eyes and was visibly exhausted by her (as was everyone else – here, there, and everywhere!). I guess she needed Rich, The Carny Whisperer, to tone her down and stop her “story” about the hurt little girl who farts glitter from going into auto-repeat. The record is skipping, RICH!
Looks like we are about the meet the newest member of Little Women: NY with the arrival of Katie Snyder’s baby girl! On last week’s episode, Katie was being rushed to the hospital after a blow up at the laundromat with resident meddlers, Dawn Lang and Lila Call. Is it incredibly over the top to be accosting a pregnant woman when she is due any day? Sure! Do these gals seem to care? NOPE.
We join Katie at the hospital, where she is anxiously waiting to give birth with mom, Kathie, and waste of space boyfriend/baby daddy, PJ. She had another week to go but it looks like the baby is coming now.
Oh Real Housewives Of New York – you never cease to amaze me. Last night’s episode shone a rather frantic light on the very temporary nature of life as a Housewife.
First up Sonja Morgan has an intern she believes is her twin. This intern has Sonja’s nose, butLuann de Lesseps‘ voice and it’s all together confusing. That poor girl – Alex – upon realizing her predicament was shocked. In Sonja’s kitchen Luann lectures her about making amends with Bethenny Frankel, but Sonja is not inclined. She’s not going to grovel at the feet of the self-proclaimed Queen B, who is schtupping other women’s husbands and channeling the burden of her hypocrisy by having hysterical projecting meltdowns on Luann. Or at least I think that’s what happened between Bethenny and Luann during the Berkshires Bonanza. Which sounds like a recipe. Maybe Adam and Carole Radziwill can put it in their cookbook?! I give it a “Radish Rating” of 9.
OK, so tonight we got a look at E!’s new show, Famously Single, which throws eight famous(ish) celebs who are, wait for it…..single! They get guidance and counseling by Dr. Darcy Sterling, who talks about celebrity dating like it’s a plight that needs more attention and resources drawn to it. I kept waiting for a “Save the Celebrity Dating World” 800 number to flash on the bottom on the screen so I could donate one dollar a day to help save these regal creatures.
I’ve been waiting patiently for Chef Ben Robinson to lose his facade of cool, and it looks like this is the week he most decidedly will. On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier can’t differentiate between and entree and an appetizer (both of which are the same in her European view, as the terms are interchangeable), and Ben decides to stop keeping his enemies close, opting to tattle on Hannah’s poor job performance to Captain Mark Howard instead. Captain Mark, and Captain Mark’s eyebrows, are not pleased.
We pick up from last week in the galley, where Hannah is trying to cover her arse by claiming to be confused about the 2-course menu she and Ben had plainly agreed on earlier. The guests are starving, so there will be emergency kebabs! But Ben is not pleased about the botched service that makes him look unprepared. “Stop using that word!” Ben demands when Hannah refers to one of the courses as an entree. Sure, they may be in Europe. But the guests are American, the crew is largely American, and the show we’re all being subjected to is obviously American. Hannah thinks Ben should give her a “goddamn menu!” if he wants his dishes clearly communicated. “Don’t mess with me!” he warns when Hannah goes off about #MenuGate. “I’m shakin’ in my f*kin boots, mate,” she snarks back.
So here’s a run-down of the behind-the-scenes reveals:
1. The producers lie to everyone. Case in point: Alexis Bellino. Alexis insists she quit;Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge insist she was fired. At the CUT Fitness party, the opening party for season 8, after Alexis flees following the onslaught from the ladies, she is overheard telling the producers, “This is why I didn’t want to come back!” The producers admitted they worked behind the scenes to convince Alexis to return – including that Vicki Gunvalson would befriend her, and by hiring Lydia McLaughlin.