What could go wrong so early in the season on Below Deck?
Trevor Walker. That’s what. SENIOR deckhand under first-time bosun Kelley Johnson, Trevor came out of the gate trying everyone’s patience (and testing our vomit reflexes with his private bunk habits), but this week he decides to secure his place as #1 Boat Villain when he snarks all over Nico Scholly about…what else? Tattoos! Yes, we’re sinking that low. Drop anchor! Grab your life vests! Every man for himself!!!!!
Last week, the ladies were in a frightening accident after Tamra Judge flipped their ATV in the Glamis Dunes. Vicki was airlifted to the hospital but poor lowly Tamra only got whisked away by ambulance.
Heather Dubrow and Kelly Dodd, the luckiest stars in the Bravo galaxy, celebrate their survival with some judgey phone calls in between many glasses of champs (and one PTSD-flavored beer). First, Heather called Meghan to let her know Vicki was at the Palm Springs hospital, so could Meghan please just abandon waiting for Shannon Beador‘s arrival at La Quinta to rush over and check on Vicki.
On last night’s Real Housewives Of New Jersey, desperation and delusion was in the air…I am pretty sure that scent is sprayed over Montville with a crop duster.
Siggy Flicker doesn’t seem to understand that her children are not squishy stuffed animals she can squeeze, squeal at, dress up, and toss around. On the other hand, Siggy’s children don’t understand that she is their mother and they should show her some respect! I dunno maybe it has something to do with Siggy decorating her daughter’s room in No.1 Sophie paraphernalia? Or acting like One Direction has showed up every time she sees Josh?
When Josh returns home from passing his driver’s test, the very first words out of mouth are “When are you gonna buy me a car?” Someone is driving straight into his future on the Teresa Giudice entitlement train!
It has been nearly a year since we last traveled the road with love-struck Americans and their overseas fiances for the 90-day journey that, in my opinion, turns into one of THE best reality television shows out there. Yes, folks, 90-Day Fiance is back for season 4 on TLC, and last night’s multi-episode premiere started off what looks to be an epic season filled with true love, super sketchy fiances, and – wait for it – Danielle and Mohammed updates from season 2!!! (We won’t be recapping the past season update, but feel free to comment below. 🙂 )
In case we missed the antics of that totally tragic couple, we’re presented with Danielle and Mohammed 2.0 this season in the “love affair” of Nicole and Azan. I swear, TLC combed the planet just to find these two. I guess we can offer thanks that there won’t be a Mark and Nikki 2.0 joining us for another American Horror Story installment since Mark has probably already buried her body in his basement. #SmallVictories But, before we look back, let’s see who’s on the docket to get hitched this season!
Sadly, last week may have possibly held the only tender moment we’ll see on this season’s Flipping Out, as Jeff Lewis has officially lost his one remaining marble. With the stress of their Valley Vista remodel looming before them, the drama with Zoila Chavez behind them, and the promise of a new life joining them soon, Gage Edward and Jeff are at a crossroads. Instead of using his big boy coping strategies like therapist Dr. Donna suggested, Jeff instead opts for a full nuclear meltdown with a side of rage. At Gage, at architects, at ducks, at mailboxes. You name it! He’s on a tear.
Since Silent Matt has left, Gage has been picking up some major slack. But Jeff chooses to mercilessly rag on him in the car on their way to a job site anyway. In the back seat, Gage is at his breaking point as Jenni Pulos sits in the front seat awkwardly trying to diffuse the situation with a combination of whispery mantras and subtle side-eyes. Suddenly, we flash back to three days prior to see how they ended up in this pressure cooker of resentment.
Last night’s Real Housewives Of New York reunion was dominated by one tantruming, feet-stomping toddler bellowing “I can say what I want!” No – I did not turn my three-year-old loose on Andy, but after witnessing the un-checked behavior of Bethenny Frankel, I’m certainly not comfortable letting anyone at Bravo babysit. OK, maybe Jules Wainstein, if she brings her “waiting on line” nanny and potty training expert.
Things begin with Luann de Lesseps calling Bethenny a “horrible person” for calling her boyfriend’s teenage daughter to “verify” she didn’t have an affair*, which resulted in Bethenny standing over Luann to scream “LieAnn” (nice twitter steal) in her face. Luann telling Bethenny she’s “evil” didn’t even cause Bethenny to flinch – despite what the previous depicted.
Last week, we saw Monie Cashette flinging anything that comes out of a bottle on the newly arrived Other Twins Hope and Charity after they called her out for food stamp fraud that happened years ago in a land far, far away (Texas, y’all). We start out in the same place we left off as last week but nothing new has really developed, outside of Monie’s poor fiancé, Morlin, being shown trying to wrangle in his wild woman and make sure she does not take the whole damn ship down with her.
On last night’s Little Women: LA, Briana Renee and Matt Ericson became the proud parents of new son, Maverick Jax. But Briana isn’t out of the woods yet. Her troubled pregnancy has left her exhausted and in need of some serious recovery time. Meanwhile, the 400 other pregnant women on this show are planning a Murder Party! Because someone must die at some point on LWLA, if only in theory. There will be blood.
Elena Gant and Terra Jole are at a Russian spa getting mud masks. Neither of them have heard from Briana since she fled her pre-pop party the day before. She was having pain and, at 35 weeks pregnant, she might have been going into pre-term labor. Why are these chicks worried? Briana communicates with NO ONE when she is in a crisis, so this is nothing new. Plus, Matt does not allow her to use her phone while she’s in the hospital or otherwise. Duh.