I’ve been waiting patiently for Chef Ben Robinson to lose his facade of cool, and it looks like this is the week he most decidedly will. On last night’s Below Deck Mediterranean, Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier can’t differentiate between and entree and an appetizer (both of which are the same in her European view, as the terms are interchangeable), and Ben decides to stop keeping his enemies close, opting to tattle on Hannah’s poor job performance to Captain Mark Howard instead. Captain Mark, and Captain Mark’s eyebrows, are not pleased.
We pick up from last week in the galley, where Hannah is trying to cover her arse by claiming to be confused about the 2-course menu she and Ben had plainly agreed on earlier. The guests are starving, so there will be emergency kebabs! But Ben is not pleased about the botched service that makes him look unprepared. “Stop using that word!” Ben demands when Hannah refers to one of the courses as an entree. Sure, they may be in Europe. But the guests are American, the crew is largely American, and the show we’re all being subjected to is obviously American. Hannah thinks Ben should give her a “goddamn menu!” if he wants his dishes clearly communicated. “Don’t mess with me!” he warns when Hannah goes off about #MenuGate. “I’m shakin’ in my f*kin boots, mate,” she snarks back.
So here’s a run-down of the behind-the-scenes reveals:
1. The producers lie to everyone. Case in point: Alexis Bellino. Alexis insists she quit;Heather Dubrow and Tamra Judge insist she was fired. At the CUT Fitness party, the opening party for season 8, after Alexis flees following the onslaught from the ladies, she is overheard telling the producers, “This is why I didn’t want to come back!” The producers admitted they worked behind the scenes to convince Alexis to return – including that Vicki Gunvalson would befriend her, and by hiring Lydia McLaughlin.
Last night was the first Teen Mom 2 reunion episode of the season and featured Jenelle Evans and Leah Messer, the moms who need the most help. Too bad the doctor in the house – Dr. Drew Pinsky – didn’t offer them any guidance. Rather, he avoided any deep discussion with them and tried to convince everyone that David Eason has been a stabilizing force. Hang up the white coat, Dr. Drew, you’re done.
The reunion starts with all the girls on the couch watching highlights from the season. Dr. Drew asks what jumped out for them watching the recap. For Leah, it was hard to see Ali getting worse throughout the season. Kailyn Lowry says there hasn’t been an easy moment for her the entire season. Jenelle gives the non-answer that they can all learn from each other, which prompts Dr. Drew to bring up social media drama between Kail and Jenelle, who are now pretending to be in a better place (they’re also on opposite ends of the couch). Chelsea Houska, who also had her own issues with Jenelle, tries to avoid more Jenelle rage and simply says all the girls follow each other on Instagram and Twitter. Leah attempts to cut the tension by sharing how nice it is to have the other girls to talk to. Chelsea adds that if she needed something, she could talk to these girls. I just imagine the producers giving them a pep talk before going onstage: “Ok, girls, let’s all pretend we’re best friends and the greatest support for teen moms in their twenties is other teen moms in their twenties.”
Last night was the season finale of Real Housewives Of Dallas. Shockingly we weren’t subjected to a charity event where LeeAnne Locken berated everyone for not knowing their place in the Dallas Charity Scene. Instead Stephanie Hollman and her husband Travis threw an adult kegger-rager to celebrate the Byron Nelson PGA golf tournament being literally in their backyard – which is coincidentally also the Four Seasons.
Only rich people would pay a zillion dollars to regularly have random men strolling through their backyard hitting balls and swinging clubs near their bedroom window, right?!
The party planing consists of Travis micromanaging Stephanie and constantly reminding her that it’s her responsibility to pick up dog poop. Forcing Stephanie to constantly deal with poop is a pretty good euphemism for their marriage because Travis constantly treats Stephanie like poop! Honestly next time he hands her a list and a pooper-scooper, she should just rip it up and snap, “Don’t bring that shit into my house” (ala her cutting comment to LeeAnne in Austin).
Admit it. You’ve been waiting on Thomas Ravenel’s epic dinner party since it was first teased on this season’s Southern Charm premiere. Was it everything you hoped it would be? That and more, of course! Regardless of what is going on now between T-Rav and Kathryn Dennis, last night the aging playboy had his baby mama’s back…or does he just love to hijack his own event–remember that Glass Menagerie speech?
As the cast greets the new day on last night’s episode, Whitney Sudler-Smith gifts mother Patricia Altshul with a grand-dog. She’s thrilled with the new pooch and doesn’t seem to realize that in these situations, puppies are the universal substitute for someone who isn’t quite ready for the real thing. Maybe someone should have bought Kathryn and Thomas a kennel? Craig Conover pops in to visit Kathryn and meet St. Julien Rembert who is merely a week old. She asks him which parent Julien favors more, but Craig thinks all babies look identical. Plus, he’s not sure who the father is to even be able to make that assessment. Man, with friends like Craig, who needs enemies? So much for being Kathryn’s biggest cheerleader! Kathryn reveals that two babies are easier than she’d anticipated, and the relationship she’s always dreamed of with T-Rav is finally within reach.
After watching the Shahs of Sunset since the beginning, tonight’s episode has been a long time coming. The lightning fast dissolution of the marriage between Mike Shouhedand Jessica Parido didn’t exactly surprise anyone, but the fact that Jessica stuck around without revealing what happened did. That all stopped tonight when Jessica made it clear what Mike can do with his golden dool.
It’s a Sister Wives miracle! Last night’s episode was only an hour long! Yeah, yeah, there was an hour long special afterwards, but the producers weren’t trying to drag out thirty minutes worth of the Browns’ story lines into two hours of show. Ariella May is now four-weeks-old, and the family has enjoyed passing her around. Christine is addicted to holding the baby, and Robyn believes her broken collarbone is healing nicely. The wives coo over how precious the baby is and Kody delights in doing impressions of his newborn daughter. However, he questions Robyn if she feels comfortable taking a new baby to Hawaii. If Robyn stays home with Aria, Kody reminds his wife that Solomon will have to stay behind as well.
It’s back to the therapist’s office for Meri and Janelle, and Nancy wants to know if the pair was successful with their dual decorating project at Thanksgiving. Janelle hedges around the fact that Meri spear-headed the project with little input from her, and she tries to get her point across delicately and without blame. Of course, Meri is glaring down Janelle like she’s responsible for the catfishing. Meri interjects to add she’d hoped that Janelle would have participated more and had more of a voice. The women nervously laugh at their inability to communicate. Janelle suggests that the two try again on their upcoming trip to Hawaii. Meri isn’t feeling it. Christine and Robyn are hopeful that their sister wives will build a friendship.
Yeah, I’m just gonna admit it – I didn’t want to write this Real Housewives Of New York recap. I had to rally and force myself, because last night was just so icky, fake, mean, desperate, and scheming. I wish for Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel to take a good, hard, long inventory of their lives before they judge one more person. That display last night was, again, all kinds of hypocrisy and person-shaming, and lady bashing. I don’t care how much they boast about how it was one of the greatest episodes of all time – it wasn’t, in my opinion. So it’s round two of Get Crass With The Countess.
I don’t think Luann is any sort of innocent – she is annoyingly self-righteous, her jumpsuit was sinfully ugly, and I was pissed that she turned supplicant by apologizing to Bethenny after Bethenny’s barrage of insults. Also, I do think Luann likes to shift around the truth of things – like her relationship with Tom – but I don’t think anyone deserves the sort of treatment Bethenny dished out and I think Luann more than held her own in a calm manner, which impressed me.