After three long years (seasons? Is that how we're counting years in reality TV time?) Camille Grammer is finally divorced! The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star who lived out learning of Kelsey Grammer's cheating and then her never-ending legal and custody battles on TV, has finalized a settlement agreement with her ex.
Kelsey and Camille ended their marriage way back in 2011, but ongoing acrimony about property, monetary assets, and custody of their two children weren't worked out because both sides refusing to agree. Apparently after a year of arguing they both signed papers to divvy up their assets totaling over $60M and including three homes.
The Stoddens are trying to remain relevant by attempting to launch Courtney's music career and another reality TV gig, but say that she's going to have a tough time because of her beauty. Everything from this interview qualified as quote of the day material.
The first gem shared by Krista, “She’s a victim of her own beauty. We need to understand all kinds of discrimination. It’s very sad. Courtney is the new Anna Nicole Smith, without the drugs. Everyone wants to be like Marilyn Monroe, but with Courtney the beauty comes from within — like Pam Anderson and Farrah Fawcett.”
So, earlier last night we watched the end of an overly tanned, liquor-infused, fist-pumping era. I'll admit, while Paula's cake to Mike was ridiculously disgusting and disturbing, I giggled a bit…and for that, I'm ashamed. Even if the house thought it was funny, it wasn't okay. At all. Now, it's time for the Jersey Shore reunion.
We revisit seasons past: t-shirt time, Snooki's initial entrance into the house, and Vinny's faux hawk. The gang jokes about how their random sayings work their way into the conversations of us regular folks before showing a highlight reel of many roommate fights. While they are all about throwing punches and pulling hair, they can laugh it off knowing they were quick to forgive once everyone got sober. For once, Snooki's hair is more orange than her skin. Cue a duck phone montage. Everyone jokes about Mike's final beat down of the poor mallard.
I'm not going to lie, but I've got some tissue on hand for the series finale of Jersey Shore. I always get super teary when shows end…Zack and Kelly's wedding, the final Family Ties, Who's the Boss, and don't even get me started on Friends! However, I can honestly say I've never gotten sad about the end of a reality show. Hopefully, that's the norm. I don't remember getting upset saying good-bye to any of the Real World casts (more like good riddance!), and I barely noticed when my fave Rosie Pope didn't get renewed. However, for some odd and unknown reason, these orange meatballs and gorilla juiceheads are different.
After being accosted by a friend to give the show a chance, I was appalled. Who wears slippers out in public and thinks it's funny to show their Britneys while on the dance floor? What idiots tan every day and use enough hairspray that we may have cause to sue them for global warming? Sadly, I was quickly won over by Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Vinny Guadagnino, DJ Pauly D Delvecchio, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, Deena Cortese, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, and Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola. Yes, their antics showed no inkling of decorum or maturity, and yes, I was (and still am) grossed out by many of their actions, but in a world of reality television show where cast mates hate one another, it was beyond refreshing to see this group grow into a legitimate family. I have no doubt that the majority of them will still be pranking each other in the assisted living facility. Hanging out for a day with Vinny and Pauly is on my bucket list. Instead of VPL being code for visible panty line, it would be Vinny/Pauly/Lauren. I digress (what else is new?). On to the recap…I'm wearing my favorite airbrushed tank top, my whitest pair of sneakers, and leopard print track pants. My hand is wrapped around some Ron-Ron juice (kidding, I don't want to die!), and I'm ready to wish these imbeciles well. Do you think it's a coincidence that their show ends the night before many doomsdayers think we're all goners?
The roommates have decided to throw a giant bonfire party on the beach. They plan to invite all of their family and friends to commemorate their final MTV summer together. Pauly and Vinny are in charge of getting wood. Erection jokes ensue. The wood won't fit in their vehicle, so Vinny is forced to wheel it home on the handcart while Pauly follows behind him in the SUV. Classic VP. A party rental place is delivering tables, chairs, and the like. I guess these people can finally afford a legitimate party. They even bring the grill to the beach. Pauly lights the bonfire. Oh yeah, fi-arh, yeah!
Tonight is the season finale for the Real Housewives of Miami. I'm kinda surprised there's less hype because the show has had a lot of drama and the ratings have been OK.
Speaking of drama on last week's episode everyone continued to talk about Karent Sierra's suspect relationship with Rodolfo. In light of Alexia Echevarria revealing the cheating allegation, Karent and Joanna Krupa decided to expose a rumor about Alexia's own marriage! Joanna dished that the local gossip is it that Alexia's husband Herman is gay!
Lea Black dismissed the rumor as untrue and Alexia is also speaking out claiming they were just being vindictive. And Alexia has a lot to say about how horrible Joanna and Karent are!
"I was hurt and disgusted when I saw Karent and Joanna trying to stir up nonsense about my relationship of 13 years with my husband, Herman. Herman is an exceptional man, human being, husband, and father, which is more than they can say about their men," Alexiawrites in her Bravo blog.