Reality Tea

tahiry jose twitter

You know what? Every week I snark on the women of Love & Hip Hop for being huge dolts and letting the idiot men in their lives make them look like fools on national television. I'm not going to stop now. Wake up, Tara Wallace! See the light, Amina Buddafly! All this drama over Peter Gunz? I'll never understand it, and this is coming from a girl who has had her fair share of winners in the dating lottery and made several of the mistakes these ladies continue to make. No, I've never secretly married another woman's boyfriend and tattooed his name on my rib cage (yet), but I have certainly believed a liar or three.

Speaking of another L&HH damsel who keeps finding herself in the same predicament is Tahiry Jose. The poor girl tries to stand up to Joe Budden, but the nutty professor is always able to lure her back and somehow make her feel guilty for his bad behavior. It's diabolical…he should be a politician!

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Kim Kardashian 33rd Birthday

I can only say "bless his heart" so many times before I stop meaning it. I think I probably stopped meaning it about twenty "blesses" ago when it comes to Kanye West. The man's ego is out of control. I'd really like to sit down with him for just fifteen minutes to see if he really is as painfully egotistical as he seems. He could style me. I'd wear a crystal mask and report back the truth.  It's an open invitation, 'Ye. You can even bring Marilyn Monroe Kim Kardashian. No, no, don't bring her. Regardless, call me!

The tiny rapper has been especially douchetastic this week, throwing a temper tantrum on stage at a Florida concert and commissioning what I'm sure he considers to be the next, no make that the first and best, Mona Lisa. I'm sorry DaVinci, but Andy Warhol's niece? She's got the best painting of all time. Of all time! Bless his heart.

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brandi glanville

Okay, okay, we get it Brandi Glanville. You're no longer friends with Lisa Vanderpump and you adore Kyle and Kim Richards who once hid your crutches and made you cry. Oh, and you made out with Carlton Gebbia! Seriously girlfriend, it's time for a new shtick!  

Monday's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had the Richards sisters celebrating graduation, Yolanda Foster celebrating her husband's star on the Walk of Fame, and, what was that again? Yes, yes.  Brandi making out with Carlton. While she mentions all of it in her Bravo blog, I've just chosen to highlight her new infatuation with Splits and her sibling sidekick. Brandi feels sorry for Kyle, y'all.  Join me, won't you, as we return to bitch mountain…

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Ben Stiller Hand/Footprint Ceremony At TCL Chinese Theatre

Photo Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

Shahs Of Sunset - Season 3

What a difference a few months make on Shahs of Sunset. Last season, Lilly Ghalichi was Asa Soltan Rahmati and Reza Farahan‘s new favorite friend, but now her self-righteous co-stars say she needs to be “more real” and to “get off her high horse”. 

Last week, Lilly confronted Asa, wanting to know why she didn’t speak up in her favor when Mercedes “MJ” Javid claimed nobody on Shahs of Sunset is her friend.  Asa took to her Bravo blog to share, “MJ actually said, ‘These people were my friends FIRST,’ which is the truth and doesn’t need defending.”

“Second Lilly and MJ were exchanging catty remarks, and I don’t see how this is anybody’s business but theirs,” added Asa. “How are you going to have a fight with someone and then blame the other people?  I really wish Lilly would get more real about things.” That’s rich coming from the Persian Pop Priestess (which means what exactly?) who manufacturers Diamond Water (which does what better than regular water exactly?).

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teresa-joe-giudice-disco1

Melissa Gorga celebrated Thanksgiving away from Real Housewives of New Jersey family drama.

The reality star vacationed in Jamaica with her husband Poison and her three kiddos and instead showed her thanks with an endless parade of bikini photos on twitter. 

Melissa said the decision to do the holiday solo wasn't an indicator of more problems with Teresa Giudice! "We honestly haven't spent Thanksgiving together. We try to do Easter and Christmas with them," Melissa told NY Daily News. "Joe and I usually go away for Thanksgiving or spend it with my family." 

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VPR-recap-stassi-katie

Here's an odd combination: men with breast cancer and burlesque parties for your boss. Or if you are a cast member on Vanderpump Rules it's all in a day's work!

Last night Lisa Vanderpump's business partner Nathalie decided to throw a surprise burlesque party for her husband Guillermo. Naturally they decided it was wholly appropriate for Stassi Schroeder and Anonymous Stassi Schroeder Friend No. 1, Katie Maloney to do a burlesque performance for their boss. Apparently those two loons took burlesque lessons a couple years ago, but they actually suck at burlesque and only took the classes so when they get drunk at the bar they can grind on each other to attract boys. 

Stassi suggests that she just shake her fake boobies and call it day. Luckily Nathalie has the foresight to hire real burlesque dancers and they will happily wear nipple tassels. Stassi looks down at her own boobies, realizes they're not nearly as perky and 3… 2… 1… begins stabbing Lari, Kari, and Scari (or whatever their names were) with a feathered headdress. 

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kim-zolciak-pregnant-twins

I can say a lot of bad things about Kim Zolciak – and believe me I have – but one thing I will give her credit for is making pregnancy and post-pregnancy look cute! 

A week after giving birth to twins Kaia and Kane, Kim was spotted with hubby Kroy Biermann and is already well on her way to getting her body back! She was also, of course, rocking her infamous wig and some serious cleavage. Leave it to Kim to exploit what the good plastic surgeon gave her and never let a good pair of knockers go to waste! 

Kim promised this was her last pregnancy (lord I hope so because Kroy cannot afford it!). "They are doing awesome," the Don't Be Tardy star told People. "A lot easier than I thought, so far … but don't speak too soon right?" 

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