Last night we were treated to two marriage themed episodes of Teen Mom. So as to not cause our readers to overdose on all things Jenelle Evans, Kailyn Lowry, Chelsea Houska, and Leah Messer Sims Calvert, we're splitting up the recaps. It's just our way of letting our wonderful readers recoup from one hour of the train wreck to the next. All in all, it was a night of proposals, weddings, and tears made in MTV heaven.
Jenelle and Gary are back in full romance mode, and her roommate questions whether Jenelle truly loves Gary or if she just hates being alone. Jenelle assures her that she isn't with Gary just because he's in the military and will make good money. He's good with Jace, and she just doesn't have the energy to look for another relationship. Jenelle admits that they both pick fights on purpose because they love the drama. All of those are wonderful reasons to stay with someone, right? Her roommate begs Jenelle not to accept any marriage proposals from Gary because the two clearly aren't ready to get married. Jenelle can't make any promises.
Speaking of marriage, Leah and Gary really want to get a loan on their dream house, and they are considering getting married at the courthouse before their actual planned wedding ceremony. She informs her mom of their plan, and her mom is fine with their plan. Her mom wants her to tell Corey beforehand, but she's excited when Leah asks her to be a witness. After chatting with her mom, Leah shares her early wedding plans with her sister.
So Vicki Gunvalson has a new mantra – she's renovating, renovating, renovating! Renovating herself, her house, her attitude, her entire face! After seven long seasons she's grown weary of being called Miss Piggy and she's grown weary of being the butt of a zillion jokes. She tossed Brooks Ayers to the curb with a sack full of Hallmark cards and hightailed it Dr. Niccole's office where she got a nose job, some fat injections, and a chin implant. Chinplat 2.0! It's pretty hard to tell what she's going to look like as she's in the settling in phases, which means she looks a little shiny and wonky and lopsided, but um… I'll withhold judgment for now.
I will not withhold judgment over Vicki's eyelashes. What were those things? Pipe cleaners? Spider legs? They were the worse false lashes I've ever seen. They must be from the Gretchen Christine Bootay Collection.
Vicki shares that Briana and her husband Ryan have moved in and any day now Vicki will become a grandmother. To prepare for all the changes she has her assistant over to play some kind of drinking game that involves moving furniture while chugging wine. Every time you bang the sofa into the wall you drink or something. ahahahahah! New nose, new living room, same old wino!
Kandi has the ability to make fun of herself and tell it like it is without being catty while throwing other people under the bus. It's no surprise that Kandi has a lot of opinions on her co-starKim Zolciakand the lawsuit brewing between them regarding Don't Be Tardy for the Party. However, Kandi is able to express her feelings without the cattiness that often rears its ugly head when stars are getting buzzed in the clubhouse.
I wish I could reach through your computer screen and pass you a tissue, because I know y'all are super upset that this season of Love & Hip Hop has drawn to a close. Not surprisingly, the finale was all about two couples, with everyone else just showing up for a few quick minutes. Perhaps VH1 should remember that less is more when it comes to casting…we can't get involved with eighteen different story lines!
Of course, last night starts off with everyone's favorite (hahaha!) plot. Joe Budden has returned to New York, and he feels that his relationship with Tahiry Jose is unresolved. Once home, Kaylin reveals that she's been nervous to hear about her boyfriend's vacay with his ex. Joe shares that his feelings for Tahiry are beyond his control, and Kaylin wants to call it quits on her relationship with Joe…except that she doesn't have anywhere else to go. When she asks their status as a couple, I think (I had to rewind three times) Joe said "Let us pray," but I can't be sure.
Also back in NYC is Tahiry, and she's meeting up with Rashidah Ali to rehash her stories from the Dominican Republic. Forget about Tahiry's charity work or reconciliation with her father, Tahiry only wants to chat about Joe. Rashidah is floored to learn that her friend may still be in love with Joe, and she's concerned that the two are moving in the wrong direction. During the next commercial break Subway treats us to Tahiry waxing poetic about her charity work in the DR. So, her conversation didn't make the actual show, but I guess this is better than nothing!
Joe Giudice has the utmost faith in our legal system! The controversial "businessman" and husband of Real Housewives of New Jersey'sTeresa Giudicehasn't always had the best luck with the law, and the couple has been riddled with rumors of Joe's cheating and major discord in their marriage. While the pair has faced all of the gossip with fake smiles and denials, no one can dispute that Joe's record is anything but squeaky clean.
Throughout the past seasons of RHONJ, Joe's mouth has gotten him in all sorts of trouble, although his actions have also landed him in hot water. He's been battling legal woes stemming from an identity theft case in which Joe allegedly falsely obtained a driver's license in his brother's name since his own license had been revoked. Joe's court issues have been ongoing (the man loves rejecting a plea deal!), and it appears that there isn't an end in sight thanks to Joe's ego professed innocence. Juicy!