All Joyce Giraud wanted to do was bond with friends and see her family while mourning the recent loss of her father. Poor thing should've known better! After all hell breaks loose on the everyone versus Lisa front, Kyle is left confused by Brandi's story and Lisa's staunch denial. Y'all know I'm a Lisa fan through and through, but do I think she tried to get Brandi to bring those rag mags to the ladies' vacay? Of course I do. Was it catty? Sure, but that's how these women operate. That said, do I think that the Kyle/Brandi/Yo trio handled themselves like some sixth grade mean girls? Yup. I, for once, agree with Kyle (do I have a fever?)–had Lisa just played it off and admitted her part in a tasteless joke, the whole trip would have played out much differently.
Part two of the Shahs of Sunset reunion was not nearly as explosive as part one but there were a few moments worth discussing. So my favorites revolve around Lilly Ghalichi andMercedes "MJ" Javid's crazy mom Vida, but MJ saying that only Persians have to deal with responsibilities like working, caring for pets, cooking, and cleaning definitely deserves a shout out. What. A. Twit.
To kick things off,Andy Cohen revisits Reza Farahan attacking Sasha earlier this season. Reza claims he's sorry then starts in with his "woe is me" excuses. He says Sasha talking about the Iranian Revolution set him off, adding, "None of them can understand how that makes me feel – I am someone who suffered for 40 years because of the crap they did in Iran. My name is Reza and I look like this. My name is not Lilly. My name is not Mike. My name is Reza and I look like this. I am as Persian as Persian gets when you look at me."
Andy is like, how does that justify insulting Sasha? Andy insists FOB (fresh off the boat) is a hateful thing to say to someone. Reza and MJ disagree. MJ calls it mere teasing. Andy reminds them that Reza made fun of Sasha's accent also. Reza says, "Absolutely!" MJ adds, "It's really annoying." Two peas in a pod.
Danielle Gregorio is a mom of three and party planner. Danielle is a friend of Heather Dubrow, who campaigned hard to get her on the show – and Danielle definitely does not plan to be subject to the newbie curse of being on your best behavior!
“Danielle wants to be famous and is willing to go to great lengths to accomplish that," a source reveals to Radar Online. "She said she is going to create sh*t to make the drama for the show." As a friend of a veteran housewife she is well-versed in what it takes to create controversy and get noticed with outrageous storylines and dramas – she is not above making things up to get that storyline either.
"First, I have to give you the history of this contentious subject regarding Scheana. So two years ago, at the opening of SUR Lounge, Brandi was there. I knew her a little from her being involved in the show. I was wary of her as she said she was a friend of Cedric [Martinez]'s. We discovered later that was not true, but really, apart from that, had very little knowledge of her and her ex-husband."
"The group of staff who wanted to be in the pilot that is now Vanderpump Ruleshad already been assembled and were working that night of the finale party," Lisa recalls. "They were not mic-ed as they had no connection to that event. But I had to have servers and it seemed logical to put people in who were going to be comfortable in that situation."
"Chinese Proverb: Beware of people throwing shade while wearing bad toupees!" Marlo begins. "I’m doing my best to be the one to take the high road, but these last few weeks have been filled with lots of shade and haterade from people promoting products from Donald Trump’s hair emporium!" Taking the high road apparently means taking to twitter and throwing grenades at NeNe left and right.
Taking the high road also includes pointing out all the ways NeNe is an inferior, insecure, copycat version of Marlo. "I’ve never claimed to be perfect, flawless or without regrets. Who is? Definitely not the fake bleached blond with the bold ambitions!" Marlo continues. "She talks about my past incarcerations, her past includes pole sliding, lap dancing, lights, cameras and action! Which one of us is worse? Both of us have come a long way since then haven’t we? Good thing we took advantage of 'opportunities.'”
While everyone else appears to be growing up, planning for the future and attempting to compromise (albeit accompanied by hysterical sobbing), Jenelle gets stupider by the day. Instead of ultrasounds she needs a brainscan for this amazing condition she's developed of never being able to make a rational choice – EVER!
So let's start with Jenelle, shall we. Get your barf bag ready!
Jenelle just took a pregnancy test and it said "pregnant!". Babs is teaching Jace to count while Jenelle is scrutinizing the pregnancy test trying to count the lines – one is a very faint pink. Her friend Tori (of the bright red hair) is there to deliver the Come To Jesus lecture and help Jenelle decipher the test. As if Jenelle who's been pregnant as many times as Michelle Duggar can't figure this out. Maybe the second pink line is caused by the reflection of Tori's hair?
Ramona confirms she is moving forward and on the road to rebuilding her life after 25-years of marriage. “Things are what they are… life has a lot of hurdles and bumps. The good news is I feel good about me, myself, and I and who knows where my path will take me.” I think there's probably another skin care line in there somewhere. Ramona Singer Renaissance?