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Brandi Glanville

Are you all ready for Brandi Glanville to put the “real” in Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Need to catch your breath from a fit of laughter? Or catch your eyeballs that rolled down the street? Go ahead. I’ll wait. 

Brandi Glanville

“Newsflash: I’M NOT SOBER,” blogged Brandi. We could stop here because that’s where Brandi’s “real” ends. But, she added, “And fantasies are just that – fantasies. I’ve just about HAD IT with these judgmental women that pretend to be perfect and think they do no wrong. Spa day was fine other than the uncomfortable wine tasting, but I tried to tell some jokes to loosen the mood.”

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Dance Moms Maddie

Readers, I want you all to think back to a simpler time. A time of Even Stevens and Holes. A time when Shia Le Beouf wasn’t starting fights at Broadway shows or wearing a paper bag over his face on the red carpet. Basically, I want you to remember a time when Shia wasn’t scaring the beewhowhatsit out of me in a Sia video. I had nightmares last night, yet I’m strangely drawn to watching said video over and over again. I even bought the song on iTunes. Damn you, VEVO!

When Dance Moms’ protege Maddie Ziegler first appeared in Sia’s “Chandelier” music video, I realized that her ability and raw talent were far more than I ever credited her for on the Lifetime reality hit. It’s weird and terrifying and amazing. However, Maddie is starring in the singer’s new (and equally controversial) video for her single “Elastic Heart”, and it’s every bit as freaky and frightening. The best (worst?) part? She’s dancing with Disney’s fallen method actor Shia. Wearing that creepy wig and nude leotard. In a cage. And Shia is also clad in nude boxer briefs. And he’s dirty. Very dirty. Sadly, Beans is nowhere to be found. Haven’t seen it? Youtube it immediately, but don’t say you weren’t warned/encouraged.

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vicki gunvalson and jeans keough reunite for RHOC season 10

Real Housewives Of Orange County has just started filming and there are surprises on the horizon! Rumors have been stirring for a while that Bravo is looking to re-introduce former Housewives as ‘friends’ this season, and Jeana Keough just confirmed that she is indeed filming! 

“Thinking about doing a little work on the OC housewives this season, what do you think?” Jeana announced on twitter earlier this week. But last night Jeana confirmed she was participating in the show and filmed with Vicki Gunvalson, her neighbor and former close friend! 

jeana-keough-filming-rhoc-season-10

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 Fullscreen capture 1222015 70504 AM

On last night’s Little Women LA, Briana Mason reignites her love life with a little online dating that turns serious fast, Terra Jole calls Christy McGinty out for stirring the pregnancy news pot, Traci Harrison and Erik experience a sad loss, and Todd goes HAM on a bunch of people out of nowhere, finally showing us why he is the perfect mate for Christy.

We start with Christy and Todd working out at the gym to get in “baby making shape.” Exercise is hard on little peoples’ bodies, says Christy, because they have the same muscle mass and bone density as average sized people, but everything is condensed. Little people also have the same stomach size, so it’s a challenge to keep their weight low on a regular diet.

Joanna Krupa and Brandi Glanville

Joanna Krupa has followed through with her decision to sue Brandi Glanville over comments Brandi made about her vagina

Last week Joanna’s attorney sent the loose-lipped Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star a Cease & Desist letter warning her of a lawsuit if she didn’t refrain from commenting on Joanna – or her unmentionable areas. 

Well Joanna has ultimately decided to take Brandi to court! Oh look Brandi – a real-live lawsuit this time, not like that time you claimed Adrienne Maloof was suing you. 

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mob wives boat

Who knew Big Ang had it in her? I’m still reeling over her altercation with friend Renee Graziano on last week’s episode of Mob Wives!

Last night’s show starts where last week’s left off, with Ang preparing to snap Renee’s neck. New Natalie DiDonato can’t believe she’s hanging out with a new and crazy group of women, but she’s kind of intrigued so she’s not going anywhere. Karen Gravano tries to wrangle Renee as she screams at a retreating Ang. Keep in mind that Ang isn’t fleeing because she’s fearful of Renee, but because she’s worried what she’ll do if she stays. It’s always a litmus test for insanity when Karen is the voice of reason. Poor Drita D’avanzo just wanted to have a nice party to promote her store.

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snooki

Quick, what’s the next celebrity wedding on the calendar? Heck, what’s the next regular person wedding you can think of? Is it yours? Your best friend’s? Bottom line: Are you or is someone you know in need of a wedding officiant? 

If so, may I suggest Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi to guide you and your betrothed through your vows? You know you’d love it. Fist pumping down the aisle? Check. Cheetah print bridesmaids dresses? Check. And when you leave the reception? Cabs ahh heeya! It will be Jersey Shore nuptials of the finest caliber and you didn’t even have to humiliate yourself on the show to get to this wonderful place in life. 

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Kyle Richards

Oy. All the wackadoodles came out for Eileen Davidson‘s poker night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills last night. Poor Eileen. And poor Kyle Richards for having to deal with both the drunk wackadoodle Brandi Glanville and the high wackadoodle Kim Richards. I think it’s safe to say that this is the episode which will set the tone for the rest of season five. Sadly. Kyle took to her blog to share her feelings about the turn of events. 

Kyle said poker night felt “extremely uncomfortable” from the very beginning. “I could see Kim was ‘off’ but wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation. One thing that was very clear to me watching this is that Brandi is not my friend. Never has been. I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt but always kept her at arms length. To see her pretending to be friends with me in the car ride to Eileen‘s then turning on me made things abundantly clear to me. Brandi can’t be a friend to anyone. Including my sister.”

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