Yolanda Foster and her endless “journey” are infesting this season’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills like lice in a kindergarten class. Everyone’s itchy. But Patient Zero is not happy (or rather claims she’s not happy) about her children getting involved in her StoryLyme. Because she’s only interested in exploiting them through sick-kid selfies, photoshopped by Yo herself! Yolanda took her her blog this week to go on…and on…and on about the many splendored feelings she has about her health, her children’s health, her castmate’s opinions about her and her children’s health. You know, the usual!
After thanking Bravo viewers – AGAIN – for partaking in this “journey” with her <gag>, Yolanda writes, “I am happy to share that it’s been a pretty good week…What is a good week? For me, it’s about more bright moments of ‘I’ve got this, I CAN DO THIS!’ than usual. Treatments, pain and severe fatigue still keep me in bed 18 out of my 24 hours each day, but I am grateful for the luxury of reading and writing again. Healing the brain is a slow process and on its own clock, but I am for sure making steady progress–one day at a time.”
Real Housewives Of Dallas is coming April 11th, y’all. And I could not be more excited if I got my own pair of diamond-studded cowboy boots custom-made by Chanel!
Everything is bigger and blingier in Dallas – and that includes the drama! For years I’ve been dying for Bravo to branch further into the Southern states for some Real Housewives insanity and I think Dallas is the way to go – it’s huge money, total flash, and over-the-top. It’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills with southern accents (and horses – real ones, not miniatures).
Get ready for new wives LeeAnne Locken, Cary Deuber, Brandi Redmond, Stephanie Hollman, and Tiffany Hendra!
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In fact, that’s the first thing Erika wants to clear up. “I am not a pussy or a liar. I never said that Lisa Rinna was the one who said anything about Yolanda’s children. I am, however, protective of my friend.”
Kyle admits she doesn’t like to talk about Kim aroundLisa Rinna. “She’s had problems with Kim so that’s why it’s uncomfortable for me to speak about anything regarding Kim with Lisa Rinna. They left off so badly that I don’t feel comfortable talking about Kim with her. It makes me feel guilty.”
Emily is still upset Lontel left her after finding out she was knocked up, so she decides to do something which makes her happy. That happy is horse back riding. Emily spent her childhood riding, but since moving to Atlanta to become a Cheek she’s left horses behind in Texas along with her daughter. Bri Barlup comes along for moral support. Emily explains that most little people can’t ride very well since they lack the leg span to grip the horses.
Before we begin our recap of Little Women: LA, it’s of some interest to note that Briana Renee did a bit of damage control in an interview posted just hours before the episode aired. She claimed that her sister, Tiana, falsely accused her husband Matt Ericson of abusive tendencies on last week’s show. And she’s hoppin’ mad about it. Briana says Tiana’s accusations were “a complete, blatant straight-up lie” and “disgusting.” Furthermore, Briana maintains she never told Tiana she thought it was “ok” to hit a woman, although Tiana says differently. In other news: Christy McGinity Gibel lost in a car accident lawsuit brought against her in The People’s Court today. Whah?
Very interesting times we’re living in with the ladies of LWLA, indeed. Now, on to the show! Terra Jole and Tonya Banks are washing their doggies at the pooch spa. Terra vents about her discussion with Briana and Matt at Elena Gant’s Little Palettes party. The conversation went something like this: Briana, do you want to reconcile with your family? (Terra and Christy) I’m fierce! (Briana). They are dead to us and will never meet their grandchildren! (Matt). So, it didn’t go well.
Put a fork in Mob Wives…it’s done. Just don’t put a fork in Brittany Fogarty’s hand because she’s likely to gouge out Marissa’s eyes. That was one of the most comical wannabe smack downs in reality television history. Marissa in her stilettos and Victoria’s Secret get-up managed to get the only punch in on the farmer newbie. Farmer Brittany tried her best to get in a swing, scaling fences and wriggling out of the umpteen bouncers trying to contain her as she and not-so-prissy Marissy scream c-u-next-Tuesday insults that would make Ericka Jayne blush. Karen Gravano is disappointed. She had high hopes that the newbies could have a civil discussion. So Karen’s a “do as I say, not as I do” kind of person. That’s rich! Drita D’avanzo stays in Brittany’s corner like the little old guy who coached Rocky in the ring. Drita knows what it’s like to want to fight someone but be stopped by production assistants or, I don’t know, the police. Seriously, did you see this on TMZ? Girlfriend needs to take it down a notch.
Karen is peeved that Drita is encouraging Brittany. Brittany is peeved that Karen is being Switzerland in this altercation. The following day, Drita and Big Ang plan a big day of inspiration for Drita’s memoir. They are dining at a restaurant that was a mobsters’ strip club dream back in the day. Speaking of back in the day, don’t take a drink every time one of the women utters the phrase…alcohol poisoning doesn’t look fun. While Drita’s husband Lee isn’t keen on the idea of his wife penning a book, Ang believes he’ll come around and be proud of the finished product. Across town, Renee Graziano is thrilled to have son AJ and his girlfriend Andrea spending the night. Thankfully, Renee did a better decorating job the second time around, sans weed. Renee’s rules include AJ doing the laundry and no loud sex. AJ just needs snacks, Gatorade, and his mother not to make comments that make his girlfriend physically cringe.
A viewer points out that theReal Housewives of New Jerseystar still hasn’t admitted to committing fraud, only signing papers, and that it makes her want to flip a table. To that, Teresa says, “Flip a table.”
Teresa‘s average day in prison: get up at 6:30, check email, yoga, walk or run the outside track, eat lunch, have coffee, watch CNN, take a nap, get up, work out again, count time at 4:00, work out again, eat dinner, have coffee, work out again, watch TV, go to bed. “I did have a job on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. After breakfast, I would wipe down the tables. That was my job.”