Things begin with Kim and Kourtney Kardashian discussing Khloe’s new love interest – French Montana. Kourtney is perplexed at who he is and also who Khloe’s new posse is that she is being photographed out and about with. Apparently Khloe has a posse now? I guess that’s one of the perks that comes with dating French Montana? #RapperLife I think Kim’s a little jelly of all the attention Khloe is receiving. Kourtney finds it strange nobody has met him. Kim finds it strange that Khloe would ever date a guy who isn’t black. Kourtney compares Khloe’s secretive behavior to her previous relationship with Lamar. I guess Khloe tries to not scare off her romantic choices by introducing them to her family too soon. Instead she likes everyone to meet at her weddings instead. #NoTurningBackAtTheAltar The girls come to conclusion that Khloe is just a shady lady.
Updated: Tom was misquoted by Radar. He nor his source claimed the $850K salary figure for Jacqueline Laurita. And his source shared that all the ladies are reportedly making around $750, excluding the new Housewives.
Today’s Wishful Thinking award goes to Jacqueline Laurita. Who also gets a mention for encouraging us to believe the unbelievable. Nice try!
A report emerged today that claims Jacqueline, who is rumored to be returning to Real Housewives Of New Jersey next season as a full-fledged Housewife, will be earning an $850,000 salary. Which would make her one of the highest paid Housewives in the franchise history – almost as highly paid as the (allegedly) million-dollar earning NeNe Leakes!
This month NeNe nabbed the cover of Pose Magazine, while Cynthia nabbed the cover of Kontrol’s “Fabulous At Every Age,” edition.
“Thank you Pose for choosing me to Grace your cover! Pick up your copy of Pose Magazine and read my amazing interview speaking on motherhood, being a wifey, friendship, my clothing line, my production company, my Glam’baby, RHOA and my future!” NeNe wrote on instagram.
This episode of Game of Crowns brought us back to the pageant-prep circuit. Leha Guilmette serves Lynne Diamante with a cold hard restraining order, Vanassa Sebastian gets a clean bill of health, and Lori-Ann Marchese convinces her husband that fitness and pageants are more important than having babies right now, thankyouverymuch. While we’ve barely recovered from Lynne’s 15th wedding a-la-gargoyle, onward and upward we must go, my friends!
Susanna Paliotta and Lynne are ready to be crowned as the next Mrs. Rhode Island U.S. and Mrs. Massachusetts U.S., respectively. These are the titles they won through the mail, according to Vanassa’s intel. Susanna shows up looking like she got caught in one of those toilet-paper wedding dresses that brides-to-be get at their showers, except it’s pink, while Lynne is wearing her best crushed velour. Susanna interviews that the Mrs. United States pageants are the Princeton of pageants. I’ll just let that sink in a moment. Lynne addresses the fact that she and Susanna DID mail in a fee and an application for the titles they are about to receive, so I guess Vanassa wasn’t off the mark on this one. The ceremonial crowning takes place in a wood-paneled back room of an IHOP and the audience consists of twelve hapless sad sacks who mean mug the ladies during the entire shebang. Princeton has really gone downhill as of late.
Farrah Abraham‘s not-so-shocking new job as a stripper was the highlight of my week last week. Um, errr, my work week. My life is not that sad. Now the formerTeen Mom star is bragging about being offered $544,000 to strip for Palazio Gentlemen’s Club in Austin, Texas, through December.
Is Farrah laughing all the way to the bank or spewing more lies? I’m leaning towards liar, liar, pasties on fire!
In case you missed it, Farrah took the stripper job to research movie roles that do not yet exist. “It’s job shadowing that I hope pays off,” she said. “In the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper, that’s what I’m doing. It’s how I get the information to write my books and do my movies.”
So Poison is in the garbage business. It’s not the type of garbage business you might think – like producing garbage songs for a wife who can’t sing or calling his sister garbage on national TV, but he actually bought some big garbage truck to recycle documents. Melissa wants to give the truck a makeover so it stands out and they get more attention for their business. Melissa suggests putting wings on the truck. And the slogan, “Going green gives you wings.” First of all, she stole that from RedBull. Second of all, I don’t know why she didn’t just glue some Melissa Gorga jewelry on it and blast “On Display” from the speakers while it cruises around town. Better yet, old J. Faux could dance on top of the truck! Third of all, what does the leasing agent from a car dealership have to do with Joe’s trash business?
On this week’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, we open to nanny Lana prancing around the house listening to motivational recordings about how to love yourself. Once she steps into the kitchen (aka the lion’s den), where the Biermanns are enjoying lunch, she is inundated with comments about how she needs to get her butt out there and start dating. Lana is nervous because her last date didn’t go over so well with the guy taking his teeth out and all. Dear lord, Kim Zolciak needs to get Lana on Instagram ASAP.
Later that week, they are outside decorating her home for an intimate baby shower (consisting of Kim’s family and her staff, a little weird, but I’ll roll with it) for her dear friend, Jen. They briefly flash pictures of Kim and Jen from back in the day and I hope Kim posts more of them on her Instagram/Twitter feed! Kim attempts to convince Jen to get her placenta into pills to prevent PPD and it’s a tough sell for Jen. However, when she finally delivers, she eats the placenta smoothie and yum! She thinks it’s delish. Does this actually work?
The big weekend has arrived for Jackie Gillies and Andrea Moss to ski at Lydia Schiavello’s home in Thredbo. Jackie and Andrea are loading up their luggage with fur scarfs (that have pockets – genius!) and non-quail feather-stuffed jackets. Andrea’s husband is stoked to nosh on pizza, chips and any other crappy food that he can get his hands on while she is away. After a long ride, Lydia welcomes them to her home that she just spent time redecorating. Mind you the house has no paint on the walls and she put up a collage of white picture frames with family photos in it. Just a reminder that she is in school for interior design and the place looks like she threw together some pieces from IKEA.