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Somebody needs to revoke Jax Taylor's Food Handler's card because our pretty male model made a serious faux pas on last night's Vanderpump Rules with ladylove of the minute Laura Leigh!

Everyone's favorite little reincarnated Minnie Mouse whose voice floats and squeaks with aplomb christened SUR with Jax in a little late-night bathroom hooking up. ON THE FLOOR. Of the VIP bathroom. According to the security guard, he walked in and saw Jax and Laura Leigh trousers down, getting busy. He promptly phoned Ken, who promptly called a PR meeting where he informed the flabbergasted Lisa Vanderpump about extracurricular activities in the workplace. Oh dear – what. a. mess. Literally and figuratively. 

I have two things to say about this: 1) Does LL seriously want to be thought of as the gross desperate girl who gets busy on a public restroom floor? Even Britney Spears isn't that dirty. 

2) Did Lisa seriously let that get featured on television? Image problem is right! And apparently this is a bit of a trend with LL because the next night she and Jax are out to dinner and they slip into the employee bathroom to reenact their magical moment. Where are the police with public indecency citations when we need them?

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ducks

I can't wait.  Seriously.  I am counting down the days until my Robertson boys are back on the A&E.  In case you are wondering, we have fifteen more days until Jase, Willie, Si, Phil and the gang from Duck Commander are gracing our television screens.  That's right!  The third season of Duck Dynasty is premiering on Wednesday, February 27 at 10 PM ET.  

Just like with seasons past, we can expect to see some crazy backwoods antics and true family values.  Just because they run a multi-million dollar empire backed by the world's best duck call doesn't mean that this family doesn't get down and dirty…all the time.  This season, we'll be treated to Willie trying to shed a few pounds (he even attempts yoga with Korie…bless his heart) so he'll be slimmer for his high school reunion, as well as plenty of hunting time for the guys out in the swamp.  Jase and Willie take their wives deer hunting, and Si wants to find the perfect dog to keep him company.  How can you not just adore this family?  It's the antithesis of almost every other reality show now and days, and I find that totally refreshing!

[Photo Credit: A&E]

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE A VIDEO MESSAGE FROM WILLIE AND PHIL!  TELL US-ARE YOU AS EXCITED ABOUT THE RETURN OF DUCK DYNASTY AS I AM?

 

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You have to love what constitutes a star these days…especially in the eyes of ABC execs when they are casting Dancing with the Stars.  You can't really blame them though…when Lindsay Lohan turns down the show, it may be time to call it quits.  

As always, rumors are swirling about who may foxtrotting across the ballroom.  Some of the names being tossed around are more believable than others, and some would be pure television gold if the gossip proves to be true.  Likewise, the speculation is often more exciting than the dancing itself.  ABC's Bachelorette darling Emily Maynard's name has been thrown into the mix, as well as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo matriarch June Shannon.  How amazing would that be?

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rhobh-recap

Well if ever there was a reason to recklessly abandon tea and convert to coffee, last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was it! Does tea just bring out the worst behavior in everyone – or is that wine? Or is it actually just that 3/4 of the people on this show are hideous specimens of humanity? 

So Lisa Vanderpump tried to make amends last night. She took all her fancy British etiquette and tried to apply it to unscrupulous famewhores. Logic fail! She began with Splits Richards, whom Lisa had always believed to be a fun person, a friend, but underneath all Kyle's layers of caftans and hair lie a woman possessed. Possessed with the desire to be important and relevant – and most importantly famous. Enter Reality TV. 

Then Lisa tried with Adrienne Maloof who was let out of the cryogenic freezer before her face fully thawed to socialize with the ladies. Adrienne's equally unappealing friend (and Kyle's Doppelganger) Faye Resnick was also hauled out for the unappetizing occasion. More on that thoughtless and repulsive decision later. 

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amfAR gala

 

 

Photo Credit: Ivan Nikolov/Wenn.com

sean-lowe-the-bachelor-st-croix

While the wilderness races in Montana and the polar bear plunges in Canada were a ton of fun, Sean Lowe is looking forward to spending the next week in the beautiful St. Croix. Hopefully, a warmer climate means Tierra LiCausi might make it through one week without catching hypothermia or suffering a similar major medical drama. My luck… Tierra will get attacked by a shark… Sean will give her another pity rose.
 
Our Bachelor and his bachelorettes – Catherine Giudici, Lesley Murphy, AshLee Frazier, Desiree Hartsock, Lindsay Yenter, and Shark Bait – will enjoy three one-on-one dates (no roses) and one three-on-one date (one rose) in St. Croix.
 
Even in paradise Tierra complains within minutes. She isn't happy about the shared sleeping arrangements and rolls a cot into a sitting room, saying, "I'm not about to share some room with girls I don't care for. I'm not friends with girls who like my boyfriends. I think it's just better for me to have my own private space." Later, Lesley quips, "I want to roll away her rollaway into the freaking ocean." Amen. 
 
Now Tierra is whining about how she hasn't had a one-on-one date with Sean even though he's "crazy" about her. News Flash: Sean is crazy about all of the girls! Tierra thinks she should be Sean's highest priority at this point; however, AshLee scores the first date. A bitter Tierra refers to AshLee as a cougar. AshLee is only 32 years old, mind you, and Tierra is obviously an immature 24-year-old bitch.
 
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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West out and about

Just because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that their baby won't be making its debut courtesy of E!, don't expect that to mean they want little Kimye, Jr. to have some semblance of a normal life.  I'm embarrassed to say that I fell under that fallacy (just a tad, tiny, wee bit…). 

Don't get me wrong.  When a couple spends countless hours and photo ops trying to recreate their own version of a famous statute of Jesus (please click here and take note of how unimpressed the bystanders seem!), I am not expecting their kid to attend public school and play rec soccer at the local YMCA.  However, in light of today's Kimye gossip, the child won't have time to play soccer/t-ball/ultimate frisbee because he or she will be spending the majority of time jetting back and forth across the globe to multiple houses.  Oh, excuse me.  Mansions

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teenmom2

It's that special time of the season we've been waiting on for what seems like eons…the season finale of Teen Mom 2.  Last night, the girls and their children/parents/boyfriends/users sat down for a two hour chit chat with MTV's resident "therapist" Dr. Drew Pinsky.  Wait…what's that you say?  It wasn't the season finale?  Mid-season finale?  What the–?  I have never heard of such a thing.  You know what this means, right?

Let me break it down for you.  Remember how last week everything wrapped up ever so nicely in the calmest ninety minutes in the show's history?  Jenelle Evans and mom Barbara seemed to be mending their relationship.  Leah Messer Simms Calvert Insert Next Husband's Name Here realized she needed to move on from Corey now that she's pregnant with her new fiance's baby.  Kailyn Lowry began a new romance and was working to co-parent with Jo, and Chelsea Houska finally passed her GED.  Things were in a good place.  

Of course, leave it to MTV to make sure the true finale will be total chaos.  Next week the insanity of broken relationships, drug abuse, and violence spirals out of control when we are treated to the midseason premiere.  I can't keep up, so let's just focus on last night's drama, shall we?  Take it away, Dr. Drew

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