Last night on Real Housewives of Miami we were exposed to the parental lineage of the Housewives clan. No not just Mama Elsa, but we met Fembot Fakenstein's in-laws and Joanna Krupa's mama. And Adriana de Moura hosted an anniversary party for the parents of the man she's been stringing along for years and will probably never marry until Bravo agrees to shell-out for the wedding and a spinoff.
Things begin with Lea Black having a birthday party for her eleven-year-old son RJ. They've decided to host the party at the "new house" on Star Island which they are planning to gut renovate so it doesn't matter if the wild boys tear up the joint. And since this is how Housewives roll Lea decides to invite some of her fellow-Housewives, plus Elaine Lancaster, to cause some drama.
Fembot shows up first, very early, and nervy beans but ready to rip on Lea's not-yet-redone home. Then Alexia Echevarria, Elaine, and Lisa Pliner (who whaddya wanna bet is auditioning for next season's cast). Immediately talk turns to Marysol Patton and the drama at Lisa's party last week.
Lisa P is still Team Elaine and maintains that Marysol tried to convince her to hire someone else over Elaine, citing it would be free. Elaine/James is highly incensed and everyone bickers back and forth about Marysol's motives. Lisa perceived it as Marysol was attacking her. Alexia defended Marysol as being non-confrontational. It's so rare to see Housewives defend each other. #shocking
I know, I know…all of these ladies are wearing on our last nerves. However, Caroline is promising to come back for next season with a positive attitude, and she has no time for the negativity that may surround the potential comeback of Danielle (not happening!) or the ensuing drama that swirls around her nemesis Teresa. Why are we still listening to any of these women? Oh yeah, it is mildly entertaining to hear them trade passive aggressive barbs in the tabloids. 'Tis the season!
Kim had thousands of fans lined up, all hoping to catch a glimpse of her. Is Kuwait starved for entertainment? Maybe they just really wanted a milkshake.
Anywho, let's dish on the real reason we're all here – Kimmie's wardrobe choice. Hot or not? Get a closer peek at the full ensemble in the gallery below. What I noticed first is that her hands, face and arms are so pale and her legs are dark and a little orangey.
Leave it to Ashley "Build-A-Bear" Hebert to buck the system when it comes to wedding etiquette. Seriously, someone get this girl an Emily Post book stat! No, I'm being too hard on Ashley and her fiancé J.P. Rosenbaum. I should be applauding the Bachelorette pair for actually making it down the aisle given the curse that seems to plague all relationships born of the Bachelor franchise. Did you know that out of twenty-four seasons there have been twenty-one engagements that failed? I mean, yes, two of those engagements belonged to both Brad Womack and former flame Emily Maynard, but those odds aren't good! My math is bad…I realize that Emily's engagement to Brad doesn't factor in, but I feel like it is worth mentioning. Lots of failed relationships!
Of course, when Chris Harrison talks about the most dramatic rose ceremonies ever I never thought that he would try to orchestrate the most dramatic televised wedding ever. I don't know whether to be disgusted or proud for what will surely be Bachelor Pad style television. Slow clap, Mr. Harrison, slow clap.
Well, I guess the house that boobs built will have to be home to another hedonistic, lingerie party loving couple! Lisa Hochstein has just listed her mansion featured in the infamous bitch slap n broom beat-down episode for $10.75 Million dollars.
The Real Housewives of Miami star recently purchased the homeLea Black wanted on Star Island, an elite celebrity resting ground and apparently they are finally ready to relocate to their next palace of boobs, butt implants, and Botox.
Dang – boob jobs buy a lot of equity – I may have to consider a career change! Dr. Lenny Hochstein, lover of bright colored man-blouses, built chateau, self-titled "Palacio del Eden," in 2007 and shortly after moved Fembot in to be his living recreation of his life's work.