Reality Tea

Famously Single recap

Last week, on the premiere of Famously Single, we met the cast of “celebrities”, who are really just a hodge podge of randos desperately clinging to what little notoriety they once had. We were left with the cliffhanger of finding out who their new dating coaches would be and (plot twist!!!) it’s two of the people they met while out boozing it up and misbehaving in some run down VIP section of a club.

SURPRISE! It’s Laurel, who was sexually propositioned by a sloppy drunk Willis McGahee and Robert, who was dismissed by Aubrey O’Day. The dating coaches begin to share their feedback and Robert admits that he found it refreshing that Aubrey could go deep in their conversation but was disappointed that she didn’t think he was good enough for a goodbye. Laurel basically told Willis in the nicest way possible that he is gross. She also had interactions with Calum Best, who she thought was playing for the cameras and Josh Murray, who was downright rude. Dr. Darcy Sterling explains to everyone that Laurel and Robert are here to give the Singletons the nuts and bolts of dating while they go through the process.

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Heather Dubrow

After an explosive tenth season, I was really expecting more from the first episode of Real Housewives of Orange County’s eleventh season. Nothing really happened and it’s clear that no one is over Vicki Gunvalson playing the victim after Brooks Ayers admitted to faking medical documents to “prove” that he had cancer.

The one thing that I really wanted to see ended up at the end of the episode in a “to be continued” moment. I was dying to see what Vicki had to say to Heather Dubrow when she took her aside on that yacht party. I can’t believe that I have to wait a whole week for something interesting to happen, however, Heather had some things to say about about the premiere episode in her blog.

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Danny Zureikat

After rough waters between First Mate Bryan Kattenburg and misguided gnome of a Deckhand Danny Zureikat, we are being treated to some beach sun and fun with the horny charter guests of the moment on Below Deck Mediterranean. Fellow Deckhand Bobby Giancola and Danny have been invited to join the all-male guests to party on the beach and compete to see who can kiss a bar-dancing girl first. You would think I’m making this up, but I can assure you, I’m not. Bobby makes a sad/valiant attempt but is shot down. Danny scores by jumping on the bar and joining her and is rewarded with an awkward kiss on the cheek, which is all this poor girl could muster.

Back on the Ionian Princess, Chief Stewardess Hannah Ferrier isn’t feeling well but won’t let her pride or a migraine take her away from her duties! Deckhand Jen Riservato tries in vain to please an unimpressed Bryan with her window cleaning abilities. Hannah is busy calling Danny but to no avail because Danny is knee deep in women, hopping around them like a coked up elf. He finally calls back to Hannah to let them know they are coming back with the guests for dinner, plus 8 random women.

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Golnesa

What is with these Bravo shows and all of the accusations about people faking serious illnesses? It is just way too much to handle. Now, Shahs of Sunset star Reza Farahan is accusing Golnesa “GG” Gharachedaghi of lying about Rheumatoid Arthritis.

It’s hard to know what to believe on these reality TV shows, but you know how GG gets. She is popping off about these accusations. Not only that, but GG’s boy Shervin Roohparvar is stepping up to defend his friend against the hate.

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Marie got a restraining order against LeeAnne

I feel like Marie Reyes is the Kim D of Real Housewives of Dallas. She brings nothing to the show and does whatever she can to get attention.

Obviously, Marie was the one who spread the story about LeeAnne Locken, and that is the only reason she is getting any screen time on this show. She is not even a Real Housewife and her desperation is just way too much for me to handle. I am definitely not a LeeAnne fan and even I can tell that Marie is an attention-seeking shit stirrer.

Needless to say, I was pretty shocked to watch the RHOD reunion episode and hear that Marie supposedly hired a social media team to take down LeeAnne and Tiffany Hendra. It’s absurd, to me, that she would invest so much thought and money into maintaining some sort of persona.

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Abby Lee Miller to plead guilty

So, could someone finally be taking responsibility for her actions? And, if so, does this mean we’re saved from another season of Dance Moms? Would anyone really watch without the Ziegler girls anyway? So many questions, and unfortunately, we won’t be getting the answers to the latter two any time soon. However, it seems that Abby Lee Miller is finally coming clean about her little misunderstanding with the IRS

The sharp-tongued dance instructor and reality star is no stranger to controversy, from her tyrannical teaching methods to her childish feuds with her students’ mothers. Add in her often flighty, mid-2000s Britney Spears behavior complete with fast food binges, glassy eyes, and hot rollers, and some wondered if Abby wasn’t the perfect candidate for 5150 hold. Obviously by “some” I mean me. 

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Wine glass, beside a large amount of capsules, pills and tablets falling out of the pot, with a blurred window in the background.

 

Despite what the Real Housewives teach us, you should never mix wine and meds! – Dlisted

Celebrities are so dramatic – Celebitchy

Is this the next Game of Thrones couple? – AfterEllen

The 2016 baby bump watch list – Momtastic

Celebrity moms pay tribute to their baby daddies – Babyrazzi

The internet is obsessed with Stanley, the mentally challenged Golden Retriever – DogTime

Does Brad Pitt still have it? – Dlisted

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Kelly Bensimon For Haute Living New York Magazine

Kelly Bensimon has lived quite a life as a model, famous photographer’s wife, mother, designer, fashion icon and trend-setter. She has overcome numerous obstacles all while living with the scrutiny of the public eye – including the very negative judgement she faced on and after Real Housewives Of New York. Kelly is now chronicling her experiences through her first novel, A Dangerous Age

“I love things that are imperfect, that have flaws,” muses Kelly. “Everything has a story. Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it doesn’t have an amazing story. It usually does.” 

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