Reality Tea

Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, Teresa Giudice And Families Photo Shoot - July 21, 2010

Teresa Giudice has had some interesting fashion choices since she first hit our TV screens on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.  We were feeling nostalgic today, pining for those days of RHONJ when things were less complicated and dark.  Plus, we have a few thousand photos to use up in our contract by month's end, so we figured why not take a look back at some of the greatest fashion moments in Housewives history.  You've been warned – this week is going to be a funky – and sometimes frightening – fashion palooza!

First up we're bringing you a Teresa flashback, starting around 2009.  I tried to pick photos that we haven't seen a million times already and since we didn't have a contract with this particular agency back then, we found some real gems! 

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love hip hop 5

Okay, if I didn't already know that Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was scripted, I think Kirk Frost's mountain weekend last night would have been a dead giveaway.  Seriously?  The dude has a pregnant wife and he has cameras following his every move.  I hope both he AND Rasheeda are laughing their way to the bank with that VH1 storyline!  Let's get started, shall we?

Kirk heads to Benzino's to vent about his pregnant wife making a video with HIS money from THEIR joint account.  Benzino thinks that his friend is starting to wage a battle on his wife, and he hates seeing a "power couple" like the Frosts crumbling.  He thinks his friend needs to get away from the city and the strip clubs and head to the lake.  Kirk will be able to clear his head, and hopefully Benzino will forget he can't find love in the ATL.

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Kim-Kardashian-Lunch-With-Jonathan-Cheban

I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for this blog post because I know I'm going to offend people with my bluntness and stupidity…even people who roll their eyes at the mention of all things Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, little Kompass North, and the child that is most certainly NOT America's Baby.

First things first…a quick disclaimer: just because I doubt that Kim and the tiny rapper's newborn has yet to sit up, say her first word, moonwalk, or buy her first pair of Manolos does not mean that I am in any way making fun of the baby's development.  That said, the founder of the Pussycat Dolls is claiming the child is already giggling up a storm.  False.  Not false because I am snarky and Kim irks me, but false because I took more than my share of child development classes.  I don't doubt that gas is making North make some super precious faces, but she's not actually laughing. 

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princesses-long-island-erica-gimbel

Princesses: Long Island continues to be a train wreck of epic proportions.

This week, Amanda Bertoncini and Joey Lauren hawk their "ticket to easy street" inventions, the Drink Hanky and Kissamint, and Ashlee White thinks she's adorable when she drops $5300 of her daddy's money on high heels.

Meanwhile, "independamint" Chanel Coco Omari "spontinuitly" decides that Erica Gimbel needs some "interventioning" and "inspirational magnet" Casey Cohen and her "B-Mercedes-W" agree to assist.

Huh? Exactly! Twitchy's above facial expression perfectly captures how I look and feel throughout each and every episode of this ridiculous show.

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Premiere Of Relativity Media's 'Safe Haven'

I know I'm supposed to have pity for reality TV stars for the stressful lives they live – and the chaos of having their every moment captured on camera. All the flaws, and bad behavior, and embarrassing moments, and fights, and crappy relationships, and friendships gone awry. Yeah, I should probably feel bad for them. But I don't! I'm callous that way. 

Anyway, poor Gretchen Rossi wants you to know that her life is like way hard and it's like way, way hard being on Real Housewives of Orange County when you never know when your ally is going to become your enemy and vice versa. 

“The bottom line is that I am just very straight forward and I don’t like anybody that plays both sides and I don’t like to be played,” Gretchen gripes to RadarOnline. 

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Melissa Gorga At Sugar Factory

Aaaahhhh… Melissa Gorga – I know so much about you, yet nothing at all. The pitfalls of being a reality TV star, I suppose. 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star is opening up in her latest Bravo blog about how everyone thinks Joe Gorga is "p*$$y whipped," brainwashed, and a member of The Cult Of Famewhoring Melissa – and she says it ain't so. No matter what rumors Teresa Giudice be trying to pedal! Whatever helps her cook her books, right?

Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice! 

"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."

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Exxxotica Expo 2013

Oh, Farrah Abraham. What next in your incessant quest for attention? I don't even think I want to imagine!

In the latest, the former Teen Mom star who has risen in the ranks of tabloid fame thanks to a certain sex tape, has announced that she is checking into an outpatient rehab for alcohol abuse. Farrah, who is the "epitome of perfection," recently pled guilty to a DUI and is now hoping to "focus on her sobriety." 

Farrah will spend 10 days of intensive counseling at The Lukens Institute in Palm Beach Gardens, Fl. Farrah sees seeking treatment at the luxury facility as a "preemptive step" to help her better manage her alcohol use. As part of the $12,000 outpatient care, Farrah will be able to go about her daily life but will be monitored by a sober companion. Farrah's dad will be caring for Sophia while she is getting help. 

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jenelle-evans-teen-mom-2

On the last installment of Newlyweds Gone Wild.. Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and husband Courtland Rogers were arrested on a slew of charges involving heroin possession and chairs to the head in April.

Courtland remains behind bars. Jenelle is free on bail

Jenelle was charged with simple assault, possession of drug paraphernalia, simple possession of a prescription painkiller, and possession of heroin with intent to manufacture, sell, and distribute, specifically, and she was scheduled to appear in court today to face the drug related charges. 

Did you catch that? Jenelle WAS scheduled to appear today. WAS.

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