If ever there was a reason to say no to a proposal, it was an autotune-botched warbling of a wannabe Taylor Swift. And that proposal came courtesy of Gretchen Rossi. But of course Slade Smiley, who has been practicing the trickling of a single tear in the mirror for weeks, did not say no. Oh no … HE said yes! And it was all over-acted to puke-fection.
So yeah, let's start there shall we with the Real Housewives of Orange County proposal that just went on and on and on and on. Phase One: Slade at work at his radio station pretending he has a job like doing things on the radio. I was always convinced he just put up some microphones in Gretchen's overly cluttered garage, but apparently Radio Slade is a for realz thing.
Slade's partner announces a new song. A voice, a voice like mystic magic floating over clouds of heaven comes soaring over the airways. 'That sound…' gasps Slade staring off into the distance. I think someone has been watching The Sound Of Music… That voice, that he does not recognize because even WITH heavily deployed autotune it still sounds flat, plastic, and phony as hell (not unlike its owner), is Gretchen. And that song is asking him to marry him.
I'm convinced if their businesses bazillion ventures fail or they bid farewell to reality television (either by choice or incarceration), the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey could make fabulous livings as spin instructors. They certainly must get a good work out changing their stories every five seconds. All of the women are guilty of it, but Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga are shining professionals when it comes to spinning their version of events to make them the good guy. Hey, at least it's entertaining!
After being accused of threatening Melissa in her blog last week, Teresa clarifies her words in yesterday's Bravo entry. She promises that all of the family (well, maybe not ALL of them…she implies that one little lady is still up to her evil ways) is trying to make things better after that dramatic retreat. Tre writes, "What did you think of the Miracle at St. George? I think I haven't cried that much in my whole life. I cried all over again watching it. All this nonsense about our family not getting along for 10 years just isn't true."
Teresa continues, "You can tell from how we were at the end of the episode — cooking and laughing and enjoying each other like close families do. I wish I could have had every one of you in the room with us to feel the love. You deserve it after watching our darkest moments! Thank you all so much for keeping the faith in my family!" No problem, Billy Joel! Happy to oblige. Teresa is right on that front…we have seen a lot of darkness with the women of RHONJ, and I for one welcomed the reprieve!
I don't think I have to tell y'all how flipping excited I am!
Following the birth of her daughter, Whitney said, “It was surreal seeing Rhythm Myer for the first time after having her to myself for nine months. I wasn't sure if I was ready to share her with the world, but she is my life and I love her more than words can express. I am truly excited to be a mother!”
What does Bonnie think about all these changes? Read on!
The Teresa Giudicefraud case is just getting underway and we're all on the edge of seats waiting to see how this will play out. Joe and Teresa are in court this morning and obviously ready to crack under the pressure of it all – if Joe's temper is any indication.
Until we hear more after their court hearing, we just wanted to share this piece of reading to hold you over. Here is the full indictment – it lists everything they Giudices are being accused of. It's pretty mind blowing and worth the 33 page read.
Has the season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta already flown past us in a flurry of unblinged Rolexes, popcorn hos, no-necks, cabin fever (and flings!), and Joseline Hernandez one-liners? Sadly, it appears so. Last night was the season finale, and wow. I don't know if Stevie J. totally appalls me, or if I should be impressed by his sheer ego induced stupidity.
The episode begins with Stevie asking Joseline to clarify her question. She spells it out that she is asking him to marry her. He's not willing to say yes, but he likes the ring so he'll wear it. Joseline is special to him…and she buys him expensive gifts. Stevie thinks that patience is a virtue, and Joseline is thrilled that he's kind enough to wear the token of her undying devotion. Someone get her some self-esteem STAT.
Rasheeda invites Traci Reece, Erica Dixon, and Karlie Redd over for cocktails and nursery painting. She reveals that she's having a boy…and that she's consulted an attorney about her situation with husband Kirk Frost. Erica is saddened. Whose dysfunctional relationship can she look up to now? Speaking of, Rasheeda asks about Lil' Scrappy and his problem with the wiz-nigh-ee.
The Giudices are back in court again today because yesterday they were indicted for fraud! How's that for a hot date away from the kids!
The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars are being accused of 39-counts of various financial based fraud including wire fraud, loan fraud, federal tax evasion, mortgage fraud, bankruptcy fraud… you get the gist of it!
Apparently facing time in the slammer doesn't make Joe Giudice feel too good. As the couple waded through a sea of photographers eagerly awaiting to hear their response to the fraud allegations, he started throwing punches!
NorthJersey.com reports that they were more than an hour and a half early to court. Teresa Giudice wore white. Ha! That's like a shotgun wedding honey, the jig is up and you're no innocent. In the sea of photographers Joe lashed out and "swung" at one of them "hitting a photographer's camera". "Calm down, Joe," his lawyer, Miles Feinstein, was overheard warning. "Don't do that."
Joe and Teresa then walked in to the courthouse linking arms around 8:20 am.
The federal government alleges that the Real Housewives of New Jersey stars intentionally withheld and falsified financial information in order to obtain mortgages they could not afford then they failed to honestly report earned income to the IRS. Then upon filing bankruptcy they lied about income, assets, and potential income. All in all they are in biiiiig trouble, little Jersey!
It's interesting that despite Teresa being a stay-at-home wife and mother during that time she signed and submitted loan applications claiming she had income and a job.
Another interesting fact: Teresa and Joe have SEPARATE attorneys in the matter. Which is uncommon considering they are a married couple who filed Chapter 7 together and Joe was presumably the sole breadwinner during the timeframe.