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Good gravy, these Housewives never quit, do they?  I swear, if someone were filming the drama in my life, it would be almost as ridiculous.  "Blogger forgot to put her trash out tonight…and she's messy!  Will she be able to make it without requesting another city rolling garbage can for the street?  Or will she be forced to live with the stench for yet another week?  Tune in to find out what happens."  I mean, seriously?

Tonight, we've got news from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Well duh.  At least one of them is always doing something, aren't they?  This news may actually be a bit tame.  Thank goodness for small favors, right?

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Last week on Teen MomTyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell tried to help their mothers cope with Carly's adoption, Maci Bookout made a mess out of Bentley's birthday, Farrah Abraham said goodbye to Sophia, and Amber Portwood agreed to give Gary Shirley full custody of Leah.

Catelynn and Tyler

Catelynn and Tyler buy pens and notebooks for college. I guess they finally figured out their major crisis.

Catelynn and Tyler visit April and ask her where she stands with Butch. April is torn. She knows she should probably divorce him… but she still loves him. Tyler completely understands. In other news, Catelynn looks beautiful. Her hair and makeup are perfect.

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Wow and wow.  Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice can't just leave well enough alone, can she?  As evidenced on the most recent episode, she's skilled at throwing her brother Joe Gorga and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga under the bus.  Is it just me, or weren't they finally getting along?

Now, believe me when I tell you, I think all of these ladies are a big ol' piece of work.  Unless Teresa's involved, it usually takes two people to create drama and tension (I'm looking at you Manzo sisters!), and it is, in my experience, much easier to always turn the other cheek.  When I was in college, my mother gave me the best advice when I was stuck in the throes of a manipulative friendship.  She said, even if people don't realize it now, and even if it takes several years and you no longer care, crazy always catches up to crazy.  She couldn't have been more right.

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On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York our friend the Countess got a little handsy with a pirate. Who knew she was into role playing and kinky sex. Gag.

While it would appear that LuAnn de Lesseps dogged out on longtime boyfriend Jacques Azoulay and snuck Tomas, a pre-teen pirate, into her bedroom at a luxury villa in St. Barths, LuAnn denies the allegations. She claims that while it looks bad it was actually quite innocent and that she should never have told a “white lie” by denying that Tomas was at the villa. Remember she kept insisting it was “old Italian friends.”

“He gave me a ride home and wanted to see the house, so I brought him in. Then he left. That was it,” LuAnn insists to Life & Style.”I told Jacques exactly what happened. He and I are still in love and happy.” In fact, LuAnn says the couple who is allegedly trying for a storyline baby (should Jacques don a pirate costume to stimulate her ovaries?) are on vacation right now. Hopefully not in St. Barths!

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Whhheweee… y’alls gots somz prob-lems in the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo house! According to a report from the local police in McIntyre, Georgia they were called to the home over a suspected burglary. What on earth would they steal?! Mountain Dew? Pageant costumes? Honey Boo Boo hairs? Lawd only knows.

Apparently June and Alana Thompson returned home from their thrice daily trip to Kuntry Store for Nascar accessories to find the front door ajar. So they called the police.

RadarOnline confirmed with Chief Amerson of the McIntyre Police Department that the call was definitely made but said the police officer’s report was still pending. Luckily it does not appear that any hot rollers were harmed in the potential robbery.

The possible burglary did not deter Honey Boo Boo‘s appearance in this weekend’s Miss Sparkle and Shine pageant where I image she both sparkled and shined!

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Photo Credit: Ian Wilson/WENN

Oh last night’s Dance Moms!  The moms are wearing their finest lido deck attire to hear the results of Abby Lee Miller‘s pyramid.  Seriously, I’ve never seen so many handkerchief gauze dresses in one place!  Abby praises her girls for a phenomenal recital.  This week, the girls are traveling to California.  Big times!

Paige is at the bottom of the pyramid due to her boot. Brooke joins her for a poor showing during the hip hop dance.  MacKenzie rounds out the bottom tier.  It seems the hip hop number was a bit over her head.  Nia is on the second rung.  While she garnered most improved last week, she doesn’t need to “rest on her laurels.”  Chloe joins Nia although Abby doesn’t have a bad thing to say about her.  Once again Maddie is on top for winning the recital’s scholarship.  Abby reminds Kendall that she’s not yet in the pyramid, but by golly is she working her way towards it.  Jill is livid.

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Today in the real life of eighth graders Alexis Bellino decides to remove her extensions cut her hair short after years of Barbie locks and Gretchen Rossi insists Alexis is a copycat because she got a short haircut first! And everybody knows Gretchen is the only person in the history of the world who has ever gotten a haircut, right?! Nevermind that their hair cuts actually look nothing alike except for the blondeness. Minor details!

Alexis took to Facebook and Twitter to exclaim about her new bob and I think it looks absolutely adorable. “The NEW me! I’m SO happy! I’ve wanted to do this cut for over a year and after last season nothing scares me! Ha!,” Alexis jubilantly wrote on her Facebook Page. A photo is below!

Sadly, because this is Real Housewives of Orange County no one can be happy for her and almost immediately Gretchen hopped on twitter to retweet a bunch of comments suggesting Alexis pulled a “single white female” and stole her hairstyle. But not Slave Smiley, right?

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