Kim‘s plea bargain included 30 days of community labor, but Kim’s attorney argued that the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star wasn’t able to do manual labor because of a foot injury. <insert all the eye rolls here> Kim had until today to cough up a note from her doctor. Apparently, Kim failed to provide proof of a foot injury. Not to mention, the judge was probably like, if your foot is well enough to walk all over town in search of Xanax, your foot is well enough to pick up trash on the highway. Suck. It. Up. Buttercup.
Brooks Ayers, the Housewife that never was (but oh, he might as well be!) continues to find himself the main focus as the ladies attempt to decipher: Does her or Doesn’t he? Have cancer, that is! Meghan King Edmonds has appointed herself the cancer crusader (can she get a superhero cape to go with that?) and is determined to fight for justice by exposing Brooks as lying about cancer. Or at the very least withholding the facts.
There’s a lot of good TV on tonight – Dancing with the Stars, Real Housewives of Orange County, and Ladies of London, oh my! Thank goodness for the DVR! – but Kim Zolciak‘s debut on Dancing with the Stars is my top priority tonight. And I assume the live TV seven second delay will be ABC‘s #1 priority.
While Kim‘s #$@%! mouth will keep ABC busy Monday nights, Tony Dovolani has been tasked with trying to keep the Don’t Be Tardy star on her toes (well, anywhere but on her ass, eating pizza and drinking wine).
Tony said he’s happy with Kim so far, adding, “She’s got a great attitude. Just getting to meet her was a pleasure because in watching her show over all these years, you kind of have an idea of what this person is. And then you meet them and you go, ‘Oh, OK, hold on they’re different,’ or, ‘They’re the same.’ And in this particular case, she is exactly what she’s like on TV. And that’s pretty cool.”
From looking at the video, we’ll get a glimpse into how Teresa has helped to keep her household running from prison while Joe does the heavy lifting in person. Joe has his hands full with four busy girls, but it looks like he’s gotten some family support from his in-laws, Joe and Melissa Gorga.
Caroline Manzo is hosting Lauren’s shower at Casa de Smothers because no Manzo ever, like ever, leaves that house. Seriously it is the black hole of adulthood. Their family motto is probably “We Fail To Launch Here!”
Eversince Lauren first got a salami-scented whiff of Vito wafting from across Albie’s dorm room, Caroline has been buying vintage tea cups on Etsy. For whatever reason they’re hot glue gunning tea cups to saucers and hanging them from chandeliers and floating them across the pool in parasols to create a tea party theme. 110 people are attending. Dina Manzo was invited, but is in California. Sadly, the grinning face of Greggy Bennett will not be appearing. Or so we’re led to believe…
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy was a plethora of lessons on family, vocabulary, and just how insane Tracey the chef may actually be. Kim Zolciak-Biermann doesn’t want her children to ever leave home. She’s distraught at Ariana’s plotting to fly the coop as soon as possible–who will watch KJ, Kash, and the twins? Kroy spends the episode basking in Tracey’s praise and chugging the champagne of beers. It’s like Norman Rockwell threw up all over this family. 🙂
Ariana is a built-in baby-sitter for her younger siblings, while Kim, Kroy and Tracey joke around in the kitchen. Ariana gripes that sister Brielle uses the youngest kids for nothing but selfie props. Tracey is in love with Kroy in a heterosexualhomophobic just like you love your favorite neighbor way. She thinks he’s just the best guy, and she wishes her girlfriend of ten years could be more like him. Kim questions Tracey about her relationship with Brooklyn, and Tracey admits they argues a lot. Brooklyn isn’t passive and go-with-the-flow like the perfect Kroy, and Tracey spends too much time playing games on her phone to make an effort. It’s not Tracey’s fault she was couldn’t pay attention at the euthanasia party for Brooklyn’s cat…she was crushing candy!
Another day, another not so VAVOOMSHABANG update on Kim Richards.
Last week, the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star took to Twitter to declare herself sober, then she reportedly dedicated the next several days to trying to score Xanax from smoke shops in Sherman Oaks. Kim was relentless in her quest, too, going from one shop right to the next and hitting up the same store more than once. That must have caused 100% pain with a foot injury.