Reality Tea

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It's been a year of ups and downs for Real Housewives of Atlanta's NeNe Leakes. She remarried husband Gregg and seems happier than ever, but she was also recently hospitalized for blood clots in her lungs.

It's hard to imagine the Neenster serious about much. After all, she's famous for her "bloop" and her "Close your legs to married men…WIG!" (That one gets me every time.) Of course, if there was ever something to be famous for, a great tagline is definitely up there in reality stardom!

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Welp, the above picture just happened. As you all know, I have a soft spot in my heart (and a sympathy crick in my neck) for Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta's Benzino. He tries so hard to be a good friend. He hosts intimate gatherings at his rustic cabin. He accidentally leaks naked pictures of himself on the Internet…I love him.

Now, Benzino is stepping up to help out a friend? Who is he hyping? And just what is that person promoting?  Think long and hard…it's the natural progression with reality stars or reality star creators. Is it a cookbook? Perhaps a line of hair extensions? Nah. Maybe a butt enhancing workout video?  Give up?

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I just had a total "Aha!" moment when I watched the, like, totally rad new teaser video for the upcoming season of Dance Moms.  No seriously! Abby Lee Miller is back along with the moms that everyone loves to hate…and they're all trapped in Lifetime's version of the iconic 80's music video of A-ha's Take On Me. Leg warmers? Check. Pencil sketches melding with reality? Check. Amazing young dancers? Check. Abby as the studio drill sergeant? Check, check, and check! Speaking of "check," make sure to check out the Dance Mom's new year's day premiere on Lifetime at 9 ET. It will certainly start off your 2014 with a bang!

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Photo Credit: Instagram

 

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Mark your calendars for January 21st because our favorite Teen Moms are back with a fifth season of Teen Mom 2

Jenelle Evans, Kail Lowry, Leah Calvert and Chelsea Houska are inviting us into their lives once again to share their ups and downs. This season they'll cover everything from pregnancies to weddings as well as custody battles and drug battles.  Never a dull moment with these girls! 

Since MTV moved the show from Mondays, their tagline "Mondays are a mother"  no longer works.  I vote that their new tagline should be "Tuesdays are a trainwreck". 

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2013 KIIS FM's Jingle Ball

Last week on Shahs of Sunset,  Mercedes "MJ" Javid told Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi that she no longer considers her a friend. MJ has no use for GG now that Reza Farahan wants to be her BFF again. I cannot wrap my brain around the fact that these people are in their 30s and 40s.

GG took to her Bravo blog to list all the reasons she's upset with MJ

First, according to GG, MJ needs to "back the f–k off" her sister, Leila. "When Leila tells me that she and MJ are talking and hanging out all of the time, it makes my blood boil," said GG. "What the f–k is MJ trying to prove by hanging out with my sister? If she and I are not getting along, then she needs to stay far away from anything related to me." 

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This week Kenya Moore started off a little more even-keeled on Real Housewives of Atlanta than she normally does.  She showed up to NeNe's on time and seemed genuinely excited to go on the trip to Savannah with her co-stars.  The kray kray came later, of course, but still..she gets points for effort! 

Kenya took to her Bravo blog to clarify a few things, including her comment that Kandi Burruss could afford to skip a meal.  She says that it was all said in good fun.   "I made a wise crack at Kandi saying she could skip a meal. Kandi knows I think she has a great figure, so I’m sure she laughed as we have together about the 5-10 pounds she wants to lose. I’m not a tiny girl myself, and I appreciate a woman with curves. I won Miss USA at 128lbs and I’m now a healthy 145-150lb at 5’10”."  Kenya has been well trained in the art of shameless plugging now that she's a full-fledged reality star, "As women, we know 5lbs is everything to us, but I simply encourage all women to be healthy. My best selling workout DVD “Booty Boot Camp” is available worldwide on Amazon.com."

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Last night tables turned wildly on Vanderpump Rules when one drunken girl proved that loose lips do in fact sink friendships of convenience with co-workers you don't really like!

Before any of that happens we are treated to the tragic sighting of Stassi Schroeder's a$$. No, no I didn't write "Stassi being an a$$" or "Stassi is an a$$", but literally Stassi's a$$. She spread her cheeks for a bikini waxing. Decency is dead, folks! Apparently the best way to cleanse yourself of the ex you don't really want back but want to keep manipulating is to go hairless!

Stassi makes Katie Maloney go with her but Katie has never waxed. Katie never will again. It's taken me forever to figure out why Katie, whom I refer to as Anonymous Stassi Schroeder Friend No. 1, would dye her hair that unflattering color – and then it hit me. She's literally trying to be Stassi. Same hair style (but shorter), same side part, same color-ish, same mean girl antics. #FalseIdol

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