After all, this is the woman who signed documents allowing her 16-year-old daughter to marry a 51-year-old man. So it may have been a relief when, after appearing on Celebrity Big Brother, Courtney legally separated from Doug, claiming she wanted more independence.
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, the Biermanns are back from Spring Break and hanging out in the kitchen discussing Ariana’s obsession with a shirtless Justin Bieber and Brielle quietly announces that she has cheerleading tryouts coming up. Kroy Biermann practically spits out his Gatorade and calls her bluff. Brielle is serious though you guys! She wants to spruce up her resume for college. Forget debate team or serving food at a soup kitchen those are like soooo lame. Even Kim Zolciak eyeballs her like she is nuts.
Lana, the nanny overhears this nonsense and immediately busts out splits, a la Joe Guidice style to everyone’s applause. Newsflash, Brielle is as flexible as bamboo. Brielle is screwed. So screwed in fact, Kroy bets her 1,000 hours (did he say dollars? I hit rewind like 12 times and couldn’t tell if it was hours or dollars. I’m sticking with hours.) of work as his assistant if she quits. She agrees and game on!
Oh, Sonja Morgan, how badly she wants to be the voice of reason as this season of Real Housewives of New York comes to a close. It’s been entertaining to say the least! I’ll give it to Sonja…when she’s sober, she at least tries to keep the peace. She’s fiercely loyal to Ramona Singer, and sometimes–sometimes–she even makes sense when discussing the drama among her co-stars!
Poo-pooing the idea that ghost writing allegations should cause such a hullabaloo, Sonja begins, “At this point, I am numb to the whole BookGate debate. I am not on anyone’s side, I just hope that both books are bestsellers and that Carole [Radziwill] and Aviva [Drescher] are making enough money to pay the bills with their books because BookGate has definitely taken an emotional toll on their friendship. I know that they were close and had great times together. In fact, Carole was once the godmother to Aviva’s daughter. How can this come between them? Such contention over the accusations! I don’t know why they let it get so heated. It’s not worth it! I just hope that they can forgive each other at some point. As you get to know someone, you get to see their strengths and weaknesses — and you have to accept those if you’re going to be friends.”
She reveals, “I was surprised when the girls laughed at me discussing my ability to forgive and voicing my Christianity. I think that it is one of the reasons that I can live my own life and not worry about everyone else’s or the grass being greener. It’s all relative. We are on Earth for such a short time. I am enjoying every day of my life. I am grateful for the family and friends that I have and my beautiful daughter.”
So this may have been the shortest reality TV friendship of all time! Amber Marchese and Nicole Napolitano are NOT FRIENDS. Nicole has terminated her friendship after “Scamber” lied about her breaking up a marriage. She also claims she didn’t yank Amber’s hair without reason – Amber swatted her hand away from her face, and Nicole was like so totally justified in yanking Amber’s hair out. These new Real Housewives Of New Jerseygirls are disturbing #TooThirsty
Still, Nicole is glad this episode showed her Amber’s true colors. “Happy this episode at Bobby’s house is over. Again this was supposed to be a fun-filled night for all…along with a chance to hear an apology that now (knowing SCAMBER’S true character) I realize she had no intention of giving.”
“This was the first time ever that Bobby and I were hosting a party at his home. I never wanted it to go there,” Nicole admits. “We had our friends who are police officers and fellow firefighters from our town attend, and I would have never wanted to put them in a bad position. I was happy to hear Melissa [Gorga] state when she met Amber for lunch how Amber was the aggressive one and how she whacked my hand first. Amazing how when the Mar-crazies left the party it was like all the evil was swept out of the house. The black cloud had lifted!”
But part of me is beginning to wonder if Farrah told MTV that she didn’t want to participate because filming Teen Mom would require – GASP! – spending time with her child. If you will recall, Sophia is living her own life, and Farrah is busy promoting her sex toys, opening a restaurant, pretending to write fiction books, gearing up for her first movie role, and working as a stripper. Where would she find the time to play mom for the cameras?
If you have not been watching, first shame on you! Second you have missed some hair-pulling, screaming antics, reminiscent of a certain season one table-flipping brawl. And, of course, it all started with a rumor, innocently spread between friends. I think Amber would agree when I say, I bet she wishes she would have never opened her mouth to Melissa Gorga that day.