Is there any end in sight for Dance Moms? It seems that if Abby Lee Miller has her way, she'll be gracing our small screens every Tuesday from here to eternity! Of course, last night was the finale (I'm still not convinced the season is over), and the ALDC traveled to New Orleans. Abby is revealing the final pyramid before Nationals. Paige is on the bottom, followed by Nia, then Paige. All are called out for nit-picky mistakes. Much to Jill's chagrin, Kendall is also on the bottom tier. She reminds Abby that her duet with Maddiewon first. An overly orange Abby asks Kendall to tell her mother to zip it. Seriously, what is up with that spray tan? Abby reminds me off Ross on Friends when he keeps getting sprayed only on his front (I do so love that episode!).
Peyton rounds out the bottom and Leslie squeals with glee. It looks like someone hitched a ride on the ALDC bus to Louisiana! Abby reminds everyone how much Peyton wants to be a part of the team. Chloe is fourth for being a better dancer two years ago than she is now. Asia is third for being awesome in her duet, but Abby calls her a hot mess in the group number. MacKenzie is second, with sister Maddie taking the top spot. Abby praises her duet and tells her she wishes she'd danced it as a solo. Sorry Kendall!
The group routine will be a tribute to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. To be "fair," Abby is teaching everyone a solo…although she's pitting each of the girls against one another. Petyon and Brooke will be learning the same choreography. Kendall and Chloe will face off for the next solo, as will Asia and MacKenzie. Paige, Nia, and Maddie will vie for the final spot…because that's a fair match-up! Holly knows that it won't be a level playing field with Maddie in Nia's group.
Mackenzie opens the show, reminding us that she's still just a junior in high school. Homework is not a priority but prom is right around the corner. Woot! Mackenzie asks Josh McKee if he wants to go with her, and as always, he "doesn't care." Good talk, Josh. Good. Talk. Mackenzie squeals with delight.
Next Mackenzie shops for a prom dress with zero dollars (and fiance Josh is currently unemployed). Perhaps she should work on that homework a bit more. Math question: Mackenzie has $0. Pretty prom dresses cost $200. How many prom dresses can Mackenzie buy? Show your work.
The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star was caught making a video of herself while driving! In the clip, (probably fabricated by pimpmomma for some attention) Kendall is showing us how to Keek up with the Kardashians!
Kendall posted the video of herself posing and dancing while behind the wheel to Keek yesterday and it's clear she inherited the Kardashian gene for being more fascinated with her own reflection than anything else! Kendall didn't even attempt to watch the road, but who cares about such a thing as safe driving, right?!
Wasn't Kris Jenner just telling us Kendall was the 'responsible one' on the mid-season finale last week? A video of Kendall keeking and driving is below!
Teresa first shares that she and her cast mates are competitive, "Zen tennis wasn't very zen for me because I'm too competitive. I think we all are! And I've never played tennis before in my entire life. Swear! But it was fun and great exercise — a full body workout! I really like it. Maybe when Audriana goes to school, I'll take lessons or something." Not sure if they'll offer those in federal prison? But what do I know? They might!
Earlier this week it was reported that one of Kim Richards' children was seen wandering naked around her neighborhood and was retained on a 5150 Mental Health assessment hold. We opted not to report on the matter since it seemed private and personal – and because Kim's children are not generally featured on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
All that may soon change! Kim is reportedly planning to feature the mental health breakdown as a storyline this season. Kim's alcoholism has played prominently into the show for the past three seasons so evidently she's decided nothing is too real for reality TV!
Kim, a mother of four adult children, has not revealed which of her kids is experiencing the issues. “The child will most likely be identified, but not featured on the show,” a production source told Radar Online.
After the bachelor party hijinks, Tamra figures the best way to continue emasculating her future husband with dance lessons. Tamra shouldn't be dancing. To be honest, I went to get a yogurt during this scene and didn't feel like reliving it so I plowed forward.
Later, Tamra is going to shop for bridesmaids dresses, and Vicki Gunvalson is a no show. Heather Dubrow and Ricky (and some other Bravo extra) are joining her, and Heather realizes she shouldn't be surprised that Tamra doesn't know the difference between blush, cream, ivory, and buff. Who cares? Tamra has plenty of time to find her perfect bridesmaids' dresses. The wedding is two weeks away, which is like an eternity in Bravo-land. The limo pulls up to the elite boutique, and Tamra has flashbacks of her many tequila-soaked vacays to Tijuana. Refusing to get out of the car, Tamra calls Diann screaming about the hideous thrift store. Thankfully, Diann is a bitch-whisperer and she's able to calm Tamra with coos of pricier frocks from the poor woman in the extended stay who designed for Alexis Couture. Thank goodness!