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Last night on Real Housewives of Miami, things took a turn for the dour. Lets just say there were a lot of tears and too few drunken antics, but sometimes a little Housewives Xanax is needed after all the insanity!

Things begin with Joanna Krupa getting her charity on and thankfully she's not exposing her pubes to raise awareness this time. This time, she's competing in a charity volleyball game. Joanna + bikini = $$. Karent Sierra and Lisa Hochstein are cheering her on – and curiously absent is Romain Zago

A somber Joanna fills them in on the grim reality post boobnight bitchslap. Although Romain and Joanna are still technically living together they barely speak and he works overtime to avoid her. 

Joanna takes to the court and is surprisingly good. For some odd reason I was expecting it to be a gobsmackingly appalling performance. And after the match Romain arrives to show his better late than never version of support. They decide to go have a chat because I mean who doesn't want to have a personal and heartfelt conversation about their relationship in public, at a sporting event?

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Oh, Real Housewives of Atlanta is not disappointing this season, is it? These ladies decided to bring their A-game, shake things up, and screw with the conventional norms. Behold, NeNe Leakes has suddenly undergone some sort of an Oprah/Iyanla reinvention and is above petty drama and all about peace, love, and miniature people friendships. 

And Cynthia Bailey is now in your face, cutting claws, and getting catty. And who else is switching things up? Why Kandi Burruss! Apparently love brings out her sassy side. 

In addition to all this fuckery we are also forced to contend with Kenya Moore. And Kenya Moore is certifiable. I mean girl, really – you thought reality TV was the best outlet for your mental instability? Or perhaps lady is just really, really trying to score some Academy Award winning acting gigs… 

So let's get this thing started! 

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Royce Reed

Well it finally happened! Royce Reed is officially dunzo with Basketball Wives. Amid rumors that she along with Jennifer Williams had been fired from the show after the tumultuous season 4, Royce confirmed yesterday that she is, in fact, leaving the show. 

Royce announced the news on twitter where she explained to fans she won't be returning next season. 

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Photo Credit: Josiah True/WENN

It's going to be the most dramatic holiday season ever…I hope you read that in your best Chris Harrison voice!  Not only do we have dirt on tiny Bachelorette Ashley Hebert's wedding to J.P. Rosenbaum (anyone want to do an over-under?  I'm calling two years), but we have an inside look at newest Bachelor dud Sean Lowe's final four.  I'm starting to think that ABC is behind leaking some of this gossip so that the franchises will remain relevant.  After all, Courtney Robertson and Ben "Flannel" Flajnik's break-up isn't going to carry us through until 2013. 

Ashley and J.P. will be following in the footsteps of the original Bachelorette couple Trista and Ryan Sutter.  Not only are they getting married, but they're doing so in a two hour televised ABC special.  Is that part of their contract?  #rhetoricalquestions  Also, we have some spoilers, so if you don't want to skip ahead 9+ episode's of Sean's Bachelor season and make your own betting pools, consider yourself forewarned.

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I never thought I'd be Team Silex about anything, and I mean ANYTHING.  However, when you have to choose between somewhat creepy Silex and uber-creepy Dourtney, what else can you do but side with former Real Housewives of New York stars Alex McCord and Simon van Kempen?  Of course, I'm talking about a feud that started out on VH1's Couples Therapy, so perhaps that is where I first went astray.  I am addicted to this insanity, and I'm not proud of it.

Joining Silex in the therapy sessions, at least up until a week or so ago, was everyone's favorite May-December romantics 52-year-old "actor" Doug Hutchison and his 18-year-old wife Courtney Stodden.  I don't have to tell y'all that she was sixteen when the pair married and seventeen when Couples Therapy filmed.  Due to child labor laws, Courtney wasn't allowed to film as much as the grown-ups and couldn't stay in a bedroom with her hubby.

If you've been tuning into the train wreck (and I know you secretly have!), you know that Courtney's parade of bikini tops as shirts, Lucite stripper platforms, and belts that she tried to pass off as skirts had the other couples up in arms.  Her wardrobe was deemed a major distraction, and Dr. Jenn imposed a strict dress code.  Courtney was forced to wear things that covered her belly and didn't flash her bits.  The passive aggressive Courtney adhered to this dress code for one day, although she clearly shopped for her conservative clothing at Hoochies 'R Us.  From that point, things continued to go down hill for Dourtney.  No amount of gum smacking, eye rolling, or hair twirling could save them!

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The Kardashian sister trio is complete again. Khloe Kardashian-Odom finally joined her sisters, Kim and Kourtney, over in London this weekend (after finishing up her X Factor duties).  Khloe arrived just in time for the official launch of the Kardashian Kollection for Dorothy Perkins at the Westfield Shopping Centre.

London LOVES the Kardashians, y'all. Like LOVES them.  Loves them so much they caused a stampede at the mall this weekend! If you take a peek in the gallery (second page) below you'll see shots of the sea of madness!  Police had to talk to the crowd and worked hard to keep things under control.  There were a few reports of injuries and girls fainting.  The shopping center let people camp overnight before the line opened up at 7 a.m.  Media outlets report that "when the number of fans reached 10,000, the situation became chaotic."

That is crazy. Overnight camping for a meet and greet / clothing line launch?  I think someone lied and told them it was a Twilight premiere. 

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I've long believed Real Housewives of Atlanta's popularity in part derives from its diversity. While all the other Housewives franchises are serving up rich, white ladies of the bleached and botoxed variety, Atlanta has stood out from the pack by offering variety – and one that better represents America. Apparently NeNe Leakes agrees with me. 

"In the…'Real Housewives' franchise, we are the only brown girls," NeNe said speaking to The Insider. "You can always turn on the TV and see those Beverly Hills girls, those Miami girls, those New Jersey girls, [and] New York girls and you still sort of…get the same flavor, but when you turn and see the 'Real Housewives of Atlanta,' you're getting a group of brown girls."

NeNe also believes the lack of obvious plastic surgery and the still moving faces has something to do with why viewers watch. It is true that Atlanta serves up emotion like none other – and it's possibly because their faces have more than one frozen, puffy expression! 

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